Happy Birthday To Us! Geekanerd Is One!

The Gnerd Crew: Albo, Johnny, Bishop, Fred, Sarah B and AHR.*

"But Albo," you say, "Just one year? I feel like Geekanerd has been around forever! I can't imagine a time without such a great source for comic book, movie, and video game news and opinions!" Yeah, we get that all the time. But it's true! One year ago this week, AHR posted our very first article--a "Panel Discussion" of Avengers: The Initiative #2. Panel Discussion became a weekly feature, and this wild n' crazy journey down the rabbit hole of Geekanerdism began. But enough about the first article, what were the BEST articles? And so, in celebration of our first birthday:

GEEKANERD'S TOP TEN MOST POPULAR ARTICLES ALL TIME

(Based on total visitors)

After the jump!

*Not pictured: Degan. He's in LA or something. Nerd.

10. The Dark American Psycho Knight
Our mashup of the newest Dark Knight trailer with scenes from American Psycho probably got some people in trouble at work, but that didn't stop word of mouth from making it a minor internet hit.

9. MoCCA 2007: Hot Webcartoonist Action!
Apparently people are really curious what all those reclusive cartoonists look like in the flesh. I must admit I was mildly surprised to discover what a good looking group they are! Or maybe Special Ops Correspondent Bishop just has eyes for the pretty ones. I suspect we'll be getting a sequel to this one soon, considering MoCCA went down over the weekend... Bishop?

8. An Insane Fan's Guide to the Sweeney Todd Trailer
As soon as the Sweeney Todd trailer reached our internets AHR withdrew into her patented Foaming Geek Analysis Mode to dissect the images and draw an opinion on the adaptation of what she has long considered "the greatest material ever written." She picked it apart as only a true fan could, which is really what Geekanerd is all about.

7. Superhero Fashion at the Metropolitan Museum
Special Ops Correspondent Bishop strikes again, with this awesome sneak preview of the Superhero Fashion exhibit that's still going on at the Met.

6. The Kwik-E-Mart Comes to Times Square
Mere steps from her apartment door, AHR stumbled upon NYC's very own Kwik-E-Mart on the morning it opened, giving Geekanerd readers the first look at this Simpsons Movie publicity stunt. Having the only Kwik-E-Mart photos on the internet for a couple of days got us tons and tons of traffic. Truly our first blockbuster article.

5. Watchmen Movie Photos to Comic Panels Comparison
Many places on the internet referencing such a comparison link Maxim's similar article, but ours was chock full of the kind of intense scrutiny and analysis that only a true fan can deliver. "Geekanerd: When Maxim Just Isn't Geeky Enough."

4. Dark Knight Bootleg: The 7-Minute Scene
This video still gets a lot of visitors clamoring for anything Dark Knight related. It's a recording of a full scene from DK that ran before I Am Lengend on IMAX screens. The video gets taken down every once in a while by Warner Bros., but we've managed to keep getting it back up. I actually haven't even watched it, as I want to be as fresh as possible when I go in this summer. (It's great! - AHR)

3. Venture Bros. Season Three Preview
This is a relatively young article that's climbed to the top three in record time. Another case of being the first on the scene with something that a certain niche is itching for, AHR shot this at a New York Comic Con panel and for some reason was the only person to do so and post it. There was only one place for Venture Bros fans to come for their fix, and we welcomed them with open arms. The recording was so ubiquitous that most sites reporting the official release of the preview weeks later made remarks like "Now you can stop watching that bootleg version."

2. Portal Authority: Everything Good on the Internet About Portal
AHR here for this one. This post is very close to my heart. Writing it allowed me to take the mind-consuming obsession and adoration I experienced after playing Portal and expel it onto the internet, where I could share the crazy with similarly afflicted fans. Analysis born of all-encompassing geek-love is something I always wanted to be at the heart of this site. It's been more than half a year since this post, yet it seems like GLaDOS and I met only yesterday.

1. Early Zelda Drawings Reveal Hyrule That Could Have Been
It might be misleading to call this our most "popular" article ever. It certainly has the most visitors, but my fanboy rant drew a lot of fire from Zelda-ites all over the internet. I thought I loved the franchise, but I've got nothing on the people that came out to say all sorts of bad things about me: "the author's a whiny little bitch," "this guys is an idiot," "a bucket of pure distilled nonsense," "he's talkin rubbish," "this guy is a whiny dick," "what a prick this guy is." I had some well spoken supporters in the massive (for G'nerd) comment section, though, which softened the blows. I suppose I've learned my lesson about inflammatory language.

And to you, dear readers...thanks to the early birds who've been with us for the whole year, and who stuck with us during our colored text phase and the endless reconfigurations of Snap Judg(e)ments. Thanks to the new folks who have joined the party in the last few months, and have pushed our stats into the magical land of Maybe We Should Be Making Money Now. Thanks even to the horny guys and gay girls who just came here once for the Nerdcore Calendar link. We wish we could offer each and every one of you a piece of this unbelievably delicious Food Emporium cake. Stick around for an exciting year two, which Force-willing will include some podcast action and maybe even our own little t-shirt collection.

Movie Review: Sweeney Todd

Sometimes blood everywhere is the only way a situation is going to go. From Titus Andronicus to Travis Bickle, there's a rich dramatic history of individuals alienated to the point of insanity who, to paraphrase Patrick Bateman, "just have to kill a lot of people."

The story of Sweeney Todd comes from Victorian England, which as all young Americans learn, was not the place to be unless you were an actual queen of England named Victoria. Composer Stephen Sondhiem has Sweeney sum up his opinion of 19th century London with these lyrics: "There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/and it's filled with people who are filled with shit." Tim Burton sets his adaptation of this nearly flawless Sondheim musical in a a gray, vile world to match this sentiment. The only thing that gives color to the world, and relief to the protagonist, is blood. Lots and lots of blood.

Todd's antagonist is the snakely Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman), who had him carted off to a penal colony in Australia, then stole away his wife and infant child. Fifteen years later, Todd returns. He is put up by the pie-shop proprietress Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), and one complete mental breakdown later, the two hatch a scheme that is as grotesque as it is practical. Soon the blood is flowing in full force: squished between gears, gracefully seeping, cataracting down necks, shooting out like geysers from the necks of some of our favourite British performers.

Stage productions of the musical have traditionally put Todd's boiling rage at the forefront of his character, but Johnny Depp gives a more sorrowful, repressed performance of a man who makes a constant effort not to feel anything at all. With a chalk white face and dark eyes, he looks like he has no blood left in him. He only brightens up when he's actively planning his revenge, and the only time he seems to be truly part of the living world is when he's slashing someone's throat (by the middle of the film, not an infrequent occurrence). Otherwise, he seems so haunted by death he is virtually dead himself. Sweeney's consumption with death is put to great effect in Burton's staging of the song "By the Sea," in which Lovett's fantasizes about a life of bourgeois paradise with her shattered maniac - bright, surreal scenes are undercut by a catatonic Sweeney, staring blankly ahead through beachside lounge-abouts and dinner with friends.

Mrs. Lovett, as played by HBC, is intensely driven by her desire for domestic comfort, and ghoulish in her easy acceptance of the horrendous path that takes her there. Carter's comedic timing helps her fly through her first musical number, despite her weak singing voice. Her lack of diction proves to be a real problem with some of the more up-tempo songs, which is a shame since the lyrics in this show are some of the best in all of musical theater. Depp handles his songs by going back and forth between a unembellished but effective tenor and a somewhat misplaced rocker's growl, which he gets away with because of how completely believable his portrayl is otherwise. The best voice in the film belongs to newcomer Ed Sanders, who plays a young urchin who strikes a maternal chord in Mrs. Lovett, at least until he be becomes an inconvenience to her. When he does, Carter's Mrs. Lovett suffers the loss acutely, unlike the Patti LuPone Lovett in the recent outstanding Broadway production, who was a fierce sociopath. It's a good choice for this quieter Sweeney and Lovett duo, if a little predictable and Hollywood.

There is a subplot revolving around Todd's grown daughter Joanna and her starry-eyed lover Anthony, played by Jayne Wisener and Jamie Campbell Bower. Together, they look like a pair of waifs who may have fallen from the pages of Burton's sketchbook. Bower has a pleasant and emotive voice, although the cuts in material leave him with only one chance to show it off. Wisener's singing is less noteworthy. It would be my guess that these actors are singing at less than their full capability so as not to contrast too strongly with the bleak, ugly world of the film, but Wisener's strained performance of her aria, "Green Finch and Linnet Bird", makes a beautiful song come off inert. Alan Rickman is awesome, as usual, and his singing voice is as nice to listen to as his speaking voice. So we're talking really nice. Sacha Baron Cohen, as the rival barber Pirelli, is gigantic in every way.

Sweeney Todd is in many ways a return to form for Tim Burton. For the last decade, his work has exhibited some of his distinctive visual touches, but often overall they were characterized by stale tableau, unimaginative camera work and clunky attempts at humor. Much of humor in Sweeney Todd comes from from how people can remain unbothered by the most unspeakable crimes, and Burton wisely lets these moments play straight, accenting the absurdity.

The film's final moment is a striking image that exemplifies why revenge might not in fact be a great idea after all. The quiet nature of the ending may leave you surprised that it's over, but as with several other key points of the film, an eerie, almost frozen image is made majestic by the expertly orchestrated score. No one could have expected this film to end cleanly, as revenge stories rarely do. There's no redemption to be had, unless you count Tim Burton's success in bringing us another brilliant portrait of a doomed outsider, and his darkest one to date.

Obligatory Letter Grade: A-

The previous review is a joint effort between AHR and Gnerd contributor Sarah B.

An Insane Fan's Guide To The Sweeney Todd Trailer

The good news is, the new Sweeney Todd trailer looks gorgeous. Shots like the one above make me hope that Tim Burton's imagination is back on track after his long dry spell. Okay, so that pic is from a fantasy sequence that's not exactly characteristic of the look of the rest of the film, but still, it's awesome. And really, there's nothing like working with the greatest material ever written to get the old directorial mojo working again.

The bad news is the trailer itself is pretty poor, due an attempt to cover up the fact that Sweeney Todd is a sung-through musical by cramming in every spoken line of dialogue (all ten of them). The trailer can be viewed here, but really, if you've never seen the play the trailer may give you the wrong impression - there's barely any music in it, the one clip they do have of Johnny singing looks strange out of context. The trailer's overall impact is much more conventional and less hardcore than I believe this movie truly is (UPDATE: I was right. Read my rave review for details). But still, visually it kicks ass, and after the jump I've screencaped some "killer" stills, accompanied with my patented Foaming Geek Analysis.


Remember those moments in Kill Bill when The Bride sees someone she wants to kill, and it goes into Revenge-O-Vision? This movie will have many of those kinds of moments, but with more pathos.

This is from a song sequence in which Todd decides to kill, well, everyone. "What do you mean, everyone?" EVERYYYYONNNE!

The most moving love song in Sweeney Todd is sung directly to a pair of razor blades. Is that, or is that not, all the reason you need to see this film?



What a kooky pair! Helena Boham Carter plays Mrs. Lovett, Todd's practical, street-smart, and highly delusional partner in crime. Carter doesn't make much of an impression in the trailer, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume her ultra-dry performance is more of a long form thing. Note that in this pic Johnny is doing his trademark wounded glare. Can't go wrong with that.

Sacha Baron Cohen as Adolfo Pirelli, one of those turn of the century snake-oil salesmen you're always hearing about. We can look forward to a suitably over-the-top performance and an purposefully broad Italian accent.

Alan Rickman as the evil Judge Turpin, seen here in a 15-years prior flashback. Wow, he really cleans up well. Snape fans are going to lose their shit. However, Rickmanites will be somewhat discouraged to know that for the majority of the film, Mr. Rickman will be looking more like this next still...

Still, you take what you can get.

Todd makes a "few minor adjustments" to his barber chair.




Welcome to the grave, filmmgoers.

The very CG exterior of Mrs. Lovett's shop.

To close, a selection of images that signify what this movie is all about. Not the soul-corroding power of anger, not the self-destructive nature of revenge, nor dehumanizing caste system of the industrial age. No, this film, as the MPAA will attest to, is at it's core about angrily slashing people's throats with huge straight razors. Enjoy.



Slashy slashy!

Related: Geekanerd's rave review of Sweeney Todd. Even the highest hopes can be satisfied.

Comic Con Goods: Sweeney Todd and Watchmen Posters

Sweeney Todd and Watchmen are the two upcoming screen adaptations that I'm most looking forward to. That said, I am much, much, much more excited about Sweeney Todd. What's my problem, you ask? Well, while Geeknerd deservedly focuses on comics, movies and games, the truly GREATEST popular art of our lifetime is the work of composer Stephen Sondheim, and Sweeney Todd is his masterpiece. And while this blog doesn't cover theater geekery, trust me, this movie is going to blow all the expectations of all non-belivers to ribbons. When Johnny Depp as Sweeney gets going, he'll show those torture-porn directors what blood-letting is really about.

Granted, Tim Burton hasn't made a great film in over a decade. But I have it on good authority that the Sweeney movie does justice to the genius of the source, and this poster sure strikes the right tone. Maybe Tim used up all his Brilliance Points on Ed Wood back in 1994, and it's taken till now to build them back up again. This poster from Comic Con strikes exactly the right tone.

Image via JustJared.

Check out the Watchmen teaser poster after the jump.

The Watchmen poster I'm less impressed by. While this poster also classes it up by using a new image from artist Dave Gibbons, at this point all I care about is seeing is what this cast of young'ins is going to look like in action. Nice of of them to align themselves with the source material for all to see, but it really is a teaser in the meanest sense of the word. Give us costumes!

Image via Newsarama via some cool dude's Flickr account.