10 Things I Liked About Star Trek, and 5 Things I Didn't

I got a sneak peek of Star Trek last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. There are many things about the movie that I will praise Abrams and the cast and crew for, but I will voice a couple of my (hopefully not overly fan-boy sounding) complaints. I'm going to try and avoid any MAJOR SPOILERS but if you want to go into the movie completely without expectations (or with the expectations you have now) I guess you should read another one of our WONDERFUL articles. I should also mention that I'm not a trekie. I'm not a huge fan of TOS. I like DS9 and TNG, but I'm by no means a big fan who's going to know and or complain that Kirk has always had an issue with holding a phaser in his left hand as made abundantly clear in S1Ep8, so I won't be giving a detailed breakdown of everything they did right or wrong, just what I liked and didn't. So here we go:




1. The visuals and fx were great. Up on a big screen the fx look wonderful and the shooting is frenetic without being dizzying. For the most part, the set design, specifically the Enterprise/Starfleet ships was well done. The bridge and ship has been updated without feeling like it was only done to showcase a big budget. Much of the set felt like what the sets would have looked like if Roddenberry had created the original series with today's set design and special effects. Less redesign and more "better looking, more functional, or updated equipment and sets." The ships have a lot of work, but many other sets stay simple; things might be in the future but that doesn't mean every room has to have a giant computer and flashy cgi. Additionally, the sound was great. There is some of that old "sound in space" issue, but it's countered with a nice couple nods to the fact that in reality there isn't any sound. Overall, the sound really pulled me in, though the sound system at the theater was also excellent. Sound design over all was well done and while I could have done with a couple less over-the-top impact sfx with some of the punches and kicks, the sound worked well with the visuals making an exciting and yet not over-the-top/unbelievable environment.

2. I really appreciated the pacing of the film. That said, it does get everybody from childhood to the ship quite fast, but let's be honest, JJ wasn't out to make a movie for Trekkie know-it-alls to drool over, he gets to the action, because that's really where we get to see the characters do their thing. The film moves along with lots of action and tension, but there are a few breaths and emotional moments that give you a chance to relax.

3. The opening. Man what a sequence. They really jump right into the action and I was frankly sucked in. I didn't come into the film expecting much, it didn't look that great in the trailers I had seen. But in the first couple minutes I was hooked.


[Minor Spoiler Warning]




4. The villain. Nero, (Eric Bana) was frankly a well-conceived villain. He wasn't insane, he didn't want to control the world or become rich or powerful, and he didn't have a maniacal laugh. He's a very upset miner who took his crew and went out to kill the man that he (and frankly his whole crew probably) blamed for an enormous loss. His master plan is only hatched after 25 years of built-up anger waiting for the guy he hates to show up, and his master plot is almost entirely a plan of happenstance. I don't want to give too much away about the plot, but things culminate in him having an evil plan, originally he just sets out for revenge. He's not overly dramatic or diabolical. He's direct and to the point, he's got a mission and if you get in his way, he's just going to blow you up and move on. Sure his revenge scheme goes maybe a TAD bit far, but given the circumstances, you can really see how he got there. He's not a professional bad guy, but he's what you expect a really pissed off average guy with access to a lot of firepower might act.


[Minor Spoiler Warning]



5. The time travel involved in the film. Often (but not always) I think time travel is either convoluted or just a silly plot device, used to make a story possible. In this case, it's neither. While it does provide leeway with some of the origin stories in the film, it doesn't seem written just for the sake of allowing changes in canon. It's believable (as believable as time travel can be) and basically an accident. Nor is does it feel like a way for them to write in an unnecessary cameo. In fact, the use of it in the film is overall quite tragic, as every event that unfolds from the point of the initial travel is a diversion from what could have been (and in fact what was or may have been in TOS canon). It also traps the villain in a time where the tragedy he's experienced hasn't yet taken place, but he's most likely unable to stop it.

6. JJ and the writers had a number of nods to ST:TOS. From certain tricorder and phaser designs, to characters and random ST trivia. Captain Pike heads the Enterprise as it goes out on it's inaugural mission, a character some fans may know as the original captain of the Enterprise from the TOS pilot. Aliens you may recognize, though you'll have to look hard to find the tribble, and lots of Vulcan culture. The necessary lines are all there, and there's some nice little character background pieces, like McCoy's nickname.



7. The humor. The movie was actually pretty funny at times, but steered well clear of getting at all campy. I find that remakes have a tendency to make fun of the quirks or issues originals had, and end up making stupid groaner jokes. Kirk doesn't get his shirt torn or fight a lizard man, but there is a green skinned lady and some red shirt fun. The jokes are well timed and don't break the flow of the movie, something I was concerned about going in. Even when someone is facing a life threatening situation there's still time for a joke without ruining the moment (see the chase on Delta Vega).



8. The acting. Man I know maybe this should have come earlier, but everyone was quite good. I was expecting goofy or poorly attempted impersonations of the original actors (see: Brandon Routh in Superman). The main cast was really good, and we got to see them all as early unrefined versions of the characters that they eventually grow into. There are some just okay performances by some of the supporting cast, but the crew and Nero do a very good job.

9. The Score. Not much I'm going to say here, but the music worked really well. Obviously we weren't going to get a straight remake of the original theme, but I still got the sense that the music belonged in a Star Trek picture.

10. The make-up of and operation of Starfleet. I felt like they really tried to stay true to the TOS world of Starfleet. There's enough aliens to remind you that they're a part of the framework of earth, Starfleet, and the Federation, but not so many that you get the feeling that they wanted to go back and "correct" the lack of non-humans. Starfleet is based on Earth and it's going to have a majority human membership for that reason. It's enough like the military without being overwhelmingly bootcamp. It's really a peacekeeping force that's there to assist and protect the Federation, but TOS seems a little more rough and tumble than TNG or DS9.

Five things I didn't like:

1. Why are all the Vulcans British? Why is that? Is that supposed to make them sound smart and emotionless just like actual English people or something? It just comes off like when a film set in Germany has actors with British accents because "all European accents sound British."

2. Sulu's samurai ninja skillz. Seriously, Sulu was a great character because he was specifically not an asian stereotype. Well, have no fear, JJ Abrams is going to give him a space katana and have him karate chop around the screen, regardless of the fact that he states that he only has training in fencing (which could include kendo, but wouldn't include flying kicks). It's just blowing off an important aspect of a character to show some cool fight sequence. I know it's not a huge deal, but that's Sulu's largest portion of the movie, and they pushed him back into an asian stereotype.

3. Lens Flares. Seriously JJ Abrams there were like 400 lens flares in this movie. He makes the bridge seem like there's spotlights shooting from all of the surfaces. It starts to get distracting after a while, when a flare fills up the entire visual for a second or so as the camera moves. It's not necessary and it's added in for...some reason that I don't understand. THINGS ARE SO FUCKING BRIGHT IN THE FUTURE!

4. Transporters. I'll be honest, it's not a big deal, but I was not a fan of the way the transporter beams looked. It looked more like getting resurrected by a bunch of tiny fairies swirling around you as opposed to a matter transporter that copies all of the atoms in your body and then reassembles them at another location. Don't get me wrong, the sfx looked nice, but it didn't really feel like a transporter from the series, or what I would think of when transporting matter at all. It had a very anime-esque quality to it. More Dragonball Z than ST.

5. The crazy ass decisions that get made to move the plot along. Frankly it didn't happen very often, but there were a couple of times I raised an eyebrow, such as all of the cadets from Starfleet being sent out on ships when they hadn't finished their training. Sure I guess armies might fast track recruits in a time of war, and the main young crew members seem pretty proficient, but those were the stars. Think about how many cadet crew members were screwing up their orders because they hadn't had the final in Practical Dilithium Crystal Engine Mechanics yet. There's also a decision young Spock makes that seems, frankly, a little over the top. Ships have a brig for a reason you know. No need to throw someone into a potentially life-threatening situation just because you think they're a douche. Talk about being ruled by your emotion, there's nothing logical about that.

So those were my thoughts. I'd definitely recommend seeing the movie. I saw it for free, but knowing what I know now, I would pay to see it. And really, you'll probably have less continuity/canon issues with it than you will with Wolverine you big nerds.

Bonus: They did a prequel comic for the movie. Go check it for some nice backstory for the villain et al.

Mr. Wonka! Just Punisher of Coddled Children

As much as I hate posting anything with a shelf date of more than 1 month, this was simply to good not to rave about. This amazing piece of design, this fictional relic...it's everything I love in visual form.

1. It's a Geek/Americana mashup (if you can consider 70s Penguin book covers Americana, and I do)
2. It's Engrish.
3. It's cute.
4. It works on many levels (this is not only the best scene in the movie, but it's a metaphor for the ENTIRE MOVIE, which I never realized till now. Omg.)

The time traveler responsible for this is Spacesick. He has tons more of the "I Can Read Movies" series on his webpage, and tons of just all around great design on his Flickr, like this:



This was a threadless t-shirt design but it lost! What the hell! People just don't get the wereburger joke.

A Very TRANSFORMING American Artwork

The Transformers movie came out two years ago, and its sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will become a part of our memories and lives on June 24.

I saw the Transformers movie (un film de Michel Be) twice, both times on tiny screens, and both times I felt a delight inside.

Reasons

1. On a small screen, you cannot tell what's going on for about half the movie.
It's like a beautiful loud moving painting; crayola-colored computer graphics made to look like space metalplastic whip around and fight each other and scramble about the Earth and her structures.

2. TRANSFORMERS appears to have been written by actual Transformers.


EVIDENCE OF THIS:

a. The dialogue.

b. As near as I can tell, the Macguffin that sets the whole plot in motion is a cube. The Autobots and Decepticons are fighting over a cube. The cube is power, it's raw power and if you put in it a transformer he dies.

Yes, a cube. There it is. Any wasteful specificity or detail (like if the cube were a secret code that could activate the Universe's Most Powerful Transformer, and the UMPT would then guarantee either eternal universal rule to the Decepticons or eternal egalitarian paxtimes via the paternal watch of the Autobots) would be the purview of weaker-willed, "realistic" Hollywood product. TRANSFORMERS DO NOT NEED YOUR BULLSHIT EMOTION-PRODUCING NATURALISTIC DETAILFLAGS, YOU PATHETIC FLESHLINGS.

(sidenote: I just spent 30 minutes on wikitransformia, it's called the All Spark)

That the new Transformers film has a title as proudly unoriginal as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen gives me hope that the sequel was also penned by Transformers. Transformer screenwriters probably transform into Macbooks. And then fold out into tiny white transformers who speed-wheel over to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and plug themselves into the espresso machine.




3. Characterization of Transformers
For a culture with daddy issues, there's Peter Cullen's Optimus Prime. Me personally I have a father, but I just really get the sense that Optidad Pops is here to help lost Americans deal with the pain of generational change. Has there ever been a voice so dominating yet gentle/kind as that of Optimus Prime? And Peter Cullen, FYI, is the O.O.P.-Original Optimus Prime.

Jazz. Jesus Christ. I get that Transformers, cause it's a product of 1980s white people, can't have a black transformer without being tokeny, but the execution here is just ridiculous, and yet therefore hilarious. IT IS POSSEEBLE that the Transformer DiabloCodies who wrote the '07 movie see the racial divides of our young species as worthy of parody. Was the name RapstarBasketball too many syllables? Check out the awkwardly unsmooth CGI moves of Jazz as he acts like Mr. Coolguy when the Autobots meet Samuel Witwicky (random human name generator on the fritz, is it, Scriptotrons?). And of course, in realistic 80s token character style, Jazz is the only major Autobot to kick the bucket. In the final battle:

JAZZ
You wanna piece a me?! You WANNA PIEC-

MEGATRON
No! I WANT TWO!!!
(rips Jazz in fucking half)

Megatron, voiced not by Frank Welker, the original Megatron from the 80s series, but by Hugo weaving. I kinda think Hugo Weaving did an amazing job as Optimus Prime's evil Decepticon brother, Lord High Protector Megatron.

You can find a clip of the Jazz murder scene on youtube (it's been recut for horrible emphasis). Has there ever been a voice so dominating yet rageful as that of Megatron? In the final battle scene, which I found confusing and awesome, Megatron shouts STARSCREAM!! at Starscream, and that angry bassy yell has been stuck in my head for months.

SPOILER


Frank Welker will be Megatron in the TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN this summer, by the way. My ears are peeled.



END OF SPOILER


So that's basically Transformers and why it was fun to watch. I'm still not sure if I want to see the sequel in theatres. I DO want to check it out, but if I can tell what's happening, what's the point? I like my Transformers Pollock, not Vermeer. So I may wait until I can somehow watch it on my laptop or TV, but I don't want to wait too long. They're getting restless:


Except Jazz there up front. He's dead.

PS this time more Starscream (the jet) please. Look at Starscream. Look at that. He makes Optimus Prime look like a a shetland pony.

Ten Moments That Make The Spirit Worth Watching

I saw The Spirit when it came out in theaters, and I enjoyed it in all it's silly, uneven, free-wheeling splendor. I was a little surprised by the degree of vitriol leveled at the film from the online fan community, to say nothing of what most film critics thought of it. I mean, was it just me? Had my critical faculties deserted me on the day I saw Frank Miller's directorial debut?

I took a second look at The Spirit, this time in the comfort of my own living room on Blu-Ray (coming out nationwide tomorrow), and I stand by my initial assessment. I don't care that the film bares more resemblance to Diet Sin City than Eisner's original series. The lack of plot doesn't bother me - there's more to movies than plot. What I see when I watch The Spirit is a collection of distinctive images, unearthly characters (matched by some unearthly performances), and action sequences that rely on a set of physics most commonly found in cartoon and video games.

The end result is not quite a movie at all, but rather a moving collage of what Frank Miller thinks of when he thinks of the Spirit. It might bare little resemblance to what Spirit fans think of the character, but for fans of extreme and indulgent pop art, Miller's vision contains several moments that should not be missed.

And with that, I present: Ten Moments That Makes The Spirit Worth Watching....

Plot spoilers after the jump, but again, why would you watch this movie for the plot?

1. The Giant Wrench (0:13:18)
During a outlandishly cartoonish fight scene early in the film, a gigantic wrench appear out of no where and is used to hit The Spirit in the crotch, and then as a ramp for the Spirit to run up so he can achieve the height needed to kick the villainous Octopus in the face. It was at this point in the film that I suspected the next 90 minutes would have at least some entertainment value for a person who enjoys slapstick and absurdity, such as myself.

2. Wordplay (0:18:00)
The following exchange occurs between the Spirit and one of his many love interests, with complete dramatic sincerity; "The Octopus knows something!" "Why do you say that?" "Because he just told me he knows something!" This got a big laugh from the audience when I watched it, and I have to believe it is an intentionally silly bit or writing in the vein of Strangers with Candy.

3. "No Egg On My Face" (0:23:30)
I have no idea who The Octopus is in the original comics. But in the movie, he is a crazy scientist who talks a lot about eggs. He is also Samuel L. Jackson's best role since Pulp Fiction. At this moment in the film, Octopus says he refuses to have egg on his face. He then shoots an offending henchmen and screams, "NO! EGG! ON! MY! FACE!....not a globbb!".
Then, in a whisper, starring at his reflection in his gun,"...not a glob." If there is one scene you need to see in this movie, it's this one. I mean, look at this. Madness on film.

4. Elevator Silhouettes (0:43:00)
Miller uses a simple visual gimmick here to spice up a short expositionary dialogue scene - three characters travel up in an old iron cage elevator, and we only see their back-lit silhouettes as they ascend. But is this live action? Is it animation? Is it some sort of aftereffects composite? Whatever it is, the body language is pushed to cartoon-level exaggeration, and it's a blast to watch. I'd love to see an an entire short film shot like this.


5. The City Is My Weapon (0:56:20)
This is one of the few sequences in the film that works as a genuine piece of cinematic storytelling. It's an action sequence that illustrates a central part of the story; The Spirit is part of the city he inhabits. As he fights off thugs, the Spirit uses literal pieces of the city in combat; snowballs, a manhole cover, the sidewalk itself. There are a lot of things for detractors of this movie to point to to tear it down, but I tell you what; ain't nothing wrong with this scene.

6. "It smells....dental..." (01:01:10)
When the Spirit wakes up tied to a dentist's chair facing a giant swastika, his reaction is my favorite line of the movie: "Dental and Nazi....great."

7. The Death of Danny Colt (01:05:15:)
Another all around solid sequence, this one dealing with a whole lot of exposition in a sharp, visually interesting way. Highlights include a morgue evoked with only a man, a corpse, and a red panel of ceiling, and a great POV shot of Danny trying to claw his way out of being buried alive (Miller's solution to the no-light-inside-a-coffin problem? Just light it anyway!).


8. "Get me a tie, and it sure as hell better be red!" (01:19:45)
When the Spirit cheats death yet again and wakes up in a ER, he just yanks the EKG cables right off and power-walks down the hallway with his sidekicks in tow. Lead actor Gabriel Macht made a fan of me with his performance in this film, and this scene is just one shining example of how he manages to nail a swaggering walk and pulp-noir growl with just the right amount of sincerity.

9. "We are locked and loaded!" (01:21:50)
Another performer who knows exactly how to play a cartoon character is Stana Katic, who plays Detective Morgenstern, a comically earnest rookie cop with a off-the-charts Bal'mer accent. In this scene, she whips out a gigantic gun out of nowhere that looks like one of those Zorg Guns from The Fifth Element, but MORESO. And it's a perfect character moment, because nothing phases this gal, she's enthusiastically unflappable. If that makes sense. Okay so maybe I have a little crush on this character. Shut up.

10. "Let's die!" (01:28:58)
Again, just another tip of the hat to Gabriel Macht for a killer line delivery. He's in Whiteout next, you know. I'll see it.

There you have it. Ten iron-clad reasons to check out one of the most maligned comic book movies in the last decade. And if that's not enough, it's also got Scarlett Johansson giving one of the most confused performances I've ever seen on screen. You feel bad for her, you do. You get the sense she couldn't stop starring at the green screens, and thinking, "This is not why I went to acting school."

Geekanerd Giveaway! Or: The Power of Fan Democracy

Geekanerd is a fabulously professional website, and accordingly we often have big companies showering us with riches. And by riches, I mean highly caffeinated soda. And by us, I mean you, the reader.

The drink in question is Mountain Dew, which recently had a fan vote to see what color their new Dew, Voltage, would be (spoiler alert: it's blue).

This got me thinking about past examples of companies putting the fate of their properties in the consumers hands. There have been fails, and there have been sales. Let's take a look at fan democracy in action....

Marvel vs DC
In this epic cross dimensional war of the mid 90s, fans got to decide the victor of the fights. It was a chance for comic nerds to democratically settle age-old "who would win" debates once and for all.

Or not. Certain results were so unlikley it can only be concluded that fans voted along party lines, and that the Marvel boys had the majority. How else to explain Storm beating Wonder Woman? And we all like Wolverine, but taking down Lobo? The Main Man is an instellar demi-god who's held his own against Superman...Wolvie would be lucky to scratch up his leather jacket.

Verdict: Fail

More tales of fan power after the jump...or just skip to the end for free soda...

ReBoot ReLaunch
What happens when you give fans TOO much power? A curious example of this scenario can be found in the relaunch of ReBoot, which you may fondly remember as a smart and funny Saturday morning CG cartoon from the early 90s. When the property was acquired by Rainmaker Entertainment, the devs gave the show's loyal fans a major stake in how the relaunch would proceed. They posted five ideas for a new ReBoot web comic, each by a separate production team, and let fans decide on which concept and team would get the green light.

The winner was Arrival, which was generally considered by the voters to have a plot that stuck closest to the original series, and brought back all the original characters. But sadly, geek cred doesn't necessarily translate to quality, and the comic was ripped apart by the same people who gave it the green light.

Verdict: Fail

New M&M Color
Oh light brown M&M, we hardly knew thee. In 1995, Mars Inc. in their infinite wisdom decidded to kick their classiest shade of candy shell to the curb, and let consumers vote on the replacement. The winner was blue, America's favorite color, who we now all know and love as the cool M&M who likes to wears sunglasses, just like Poochie. I miss tan.

Verdict: Sale AND Fail


Mr. Payback
The self proclaimed "first interactive movie" was also the last. This 1995 slapstick comedy played only in theaters specially equipped with seatside remotes, which allowed you to pick the main character's decisions for him. Hey, we all loved choose your own adventure books when we were kids, same thing, right?

"NO!" screamed film critics. The mere idea of allowing an audience to steer the course of a film offended anyone who worshiped at the altar of the capital a Auteur. Critics might have given it a bit more of a chance if the film hadn't been a completely horrible piece of early nineties trash, but it bombed bad enough to put off anyone who might have improved on the gimmick.

Verdict: Mega Fail!


Jason Todd
This is the big one. Long before Cap and Superman's "deaths" made headlines, the news was picking up the story of the Boy Wonder's fan-mandated death as proof that comic geeks are not only uncool, but sadistically disturbed. The more subtle truth is that A)The robin who died was a mean little impostor to Dick Grayson's throne, and not the beloved sidekick most of America knows and loves and B)Even then, the vote was very close.

This also happens to be a case in which fans made the right choice: offing Jason addressed the irresponsibility of Batman's decision to train child apprentices, and gave the Dark Knight a new degree of doubt and humility. It also gave us Tim Drake, a smarter, more interesting Robin, and got rid of that Jason brat for a good decade or so. Those were the days.

Verdict: Sale!


So where will Voltage fall in this grand tradition of product/consumer synergy? That's for us to decide. And you can sample Dewmocracy in action on us.

Email us at Tips@GeekanerdBlog.com with a fan vote we missed, or one you think needs to happen. We'll pick the most interesting submission and the folks at Mountain Dew will send them a free case of sweet, sweet, blue caffeine juice. Contest ends Friday, April 5th.

The Watchmocalypse Is Almost Upon Us!

Repent, fanboys! The time of the Watchpocalypse is at hand! The unfilmmable tome has been put forth to celluloid and we of this earth must bare the consequences.

The Geekanerd crew will be attending the midnight screening at the 34th Street Lowes in Manhattan - if you see a bunch of nerds not wearing costumes, that's us. I'm going in with measured expectations...the book is layered with meaning in ways the film will not be, but the film also has a chance to take a pass at interpreting difficult parts of the story that I've always found a little tough to buy. Snyder, "visionary" though he may be, has never struck me as a particularly insightful director, but if his contribution to the project was only the opening credit sequence, which I was lucky enough to see at New York Comic Con, he will have given Moore fans something to savor for all time. Here's hoping the rest of the film rises to that standard.

PS: That sweet graphic is by Das Chupa, it was his entry to the Art Jumble blog's current Watchmen Theme. Boy, speaking of Watchmen art, I really shudder to think of all the upcoming Watchmen fanart that will be based on the film cast. Oh well, as long as there's room on Deviant Art for stuff like this:

The Clown Prince of Oscars

The most purely deserved award of the night. Tomorrow, I'll watch The Dark Knight on blu-ray and reflect on the awesomness that is the Nolanverse Joker, and how lucky we Batman fans are to have such a wonderful performance to savor forever. But tonight, I will dream of an alternate reality where Heath was up on stage accepting his award, thanking Christopher Nolan for guidance and Alan Moore for inspiration, and teasing us all with hints about his part in the next movie. Wish you were here, HL.

Notes From The AMC Best Picture Showcase

On Saturday, I watched all five Best Picture nominees for this year's Oscars as part of the AMC Best Picture Showcase. The first film started at 10:30am, and the day wrapped up at fifteen to midnight.

The single most interesting thing I observed:

All five nominees feature at least one scene of rear male nudity. Milk and The Reader present this nudity in a sexual context, while Slumdog, Benjamin Button, and Frost/Nixon use it for comic effect. 2008 will be truly be remembered as the Year of Man Butts. This is perhaps the true reason Wall-e and The Dark Knight were not nominated.

More notes and observations on this year's crop of Best Picture noms, after the jump....

SPOILER WARNING: Plot points are discussed.

Male nudity aside, here are some other qualities the Best Picture noms share...

Each film is set in a notably troubled time. It's not just individual characters who are suffering, it's the society they live in at large.

• Milk: The American Gay Community vs intolerance.
• The Reader: Post-War Germany vs holocaust guilt.
• Benjamin Button: New Orleans vs Hurricane Katrina.
• Slumdog Millionaire: Impoverished youth of India vs Exploitation.
• Frost/Nixon: America vs The Corruption of Their Political Leaders.

Four films feature prominent references to opera. Frost/Nixon is the only one that doesn't.

Three films feature suicide, and two of those are by hanging.

Two films feature brothels. In Benjamin Button, it is presented cheerfully and positively. In Slumdog, not so much.

Only one film is set in the modern era - Slumdog Millionaire. It's also the only film to feature any cinematic storytelling techniques that have been invented since 1940.

None of of the films feature interesting parts for women. Even Kate Winslet's character in The Reader, which she'll probably get an Oscar for, gives her very few opportunities to express anything internal. She's an illiterate ex-nazi who has awesome sex with a fifteen year old boy, and really, there's not much more we learn about her other than that. We only see her as she relates to her young lover, who is the film's true focus. In Slumdog, Ben Button, and Frost/Nixon, the prominent female characters are the objects of desire for the protagonist, and that's it. There are no women in Milk, except for a lesbian with two lines. Not a great year for ladies in film, is all I'm saying.

Notes On The Experience

I slept through at least 1/3 of Benajmin Button, and missed the part where he gets young and sexy entirely (I woke up when he was a pimply teen). I do not feel I missed out on much.

Everyone who got a full-day pass got a refillable Watchmen popcorn bag. I expected to be dipping in and out of the concession stand all day, but as it turns out one large bag of popcorn is the maximum a human being can consume in a 24-hour period.

Just before the Reader's climactic scene, where Ralph Finnes goes to visit Kate Winslet in jail, the film caught fire and burned a hole in the middle of the frame! It looks EXACTLY like it does when it's done as a special effect - big red burn in the middle of the image that spreads outward until all that's left on screen is a big while hole framed by crinkley black ashes. It was AWESOME. The audience was very good natured about it, A. because it looked so cool, and B. to AMC's credit, they fixed it surprisingly quickly - the break lasted less than five minutes and the film picked up right where we left off. This is why I love AMC - if it had been a Regal Theater, they would have kept us waiting for two hours before they told us to go home. AMC FTW.

Headache set in at the end of Slumdog, but I had prepared by bringing a huge bottle of advil.

I tried to Twitter throughout the showcase using a tmobile daypass for internet access, but it didn't work. Even after calling tech support, nothing. I hate you tmobile. I hate you forever.

With all five films fresh in my mind, I can safey say that only Milk and Slumdog seem even remotely like Best Picture Material.

Frost/Nixon is entertaining, but less a like a great movie than the sort of slightly cheesey and heavily plot based movie that I'd enjoy watching every now and then on TNT while working at home.

Ben Button is boring and souless and does not even feature very impressive special effects. When he's in old-kid makeup, his proportions are always way off. I know this movie cost a billion dollars to make and is a drama, but surely those are not the ONLY qualifications to get a Best Picture nom ?

The Reader at first seems to be a really interesting metaphor for post-war German guilt; Kate Winslett IS the holocaust! The kid IS post-war Germany! But about half way through it turns out it's really just a movie about the dangers of illiteracy in middle class women.

I really liked Milk, and it definitely makes an effective mark as the first Major Hollywood Gay Civil Rights Movie. I'm also really happy to see the gay kid from High School Musical has managed to score a role in which his character can be openly gay. This is progress.

Slumdog is the most entertaining, exciting, and inventive film nominated. There are problems, it's not a masterpiece, but it's the best of the bunch. I'm glad it's going to win.

All that said, Dark Knight was robbed. If the Academy can nominate the boring piece of trash like Lord of the Rings 3 (seriously, what was going on?), they certainly could have nominated Dark Knight, a thoughtful, mesmerizing, and occasionally very artful action movie. Your day will come, Nolan. One day, we'll show them all.

Geekanerd To Undertake Last Minute Oscar Catch-Up/Endurance Challange

Not long ago, I said that last year's cinematic achievements could be summed up in one image. But as the gods of fate and Los Angeles would have it, neither one of Geekanerd's favorite films of 2008 ended up with Best Picture nominations. Shirts were torn and tears were shed.

But never one to judge before all the facts are in, I, your Geekanerd editor, will soon embark on a fourteen hour cinematic journey; a five-film, back-to-back screening of each nominee for the 2008 Academy Award for Best Picture. And remember, one of these films is like three and a half hours long, so this could get serious.

This Saturday, AMC/Lowes Theaters across the country will be holding their third annual Best Picture Showcase. $30 bucks get you a pass to watch all five noms in a row, plus free popcorn all day and a decorative lanyard to treasure forever. Doors open at 10am, and the final set of credits roll at midnight.

Click the graphic to if tix are available for your local show, but if you can't make it, feel free to live vicariously through Geekanerd. I'll be live-blogging throughout the day between films via the site, as well as mid-movie updates via Twitter (yes, we have a Twitter channel now). Expect psychosis to sink in about half way through Benjamin Button's eighth set piece.

Hell, I made it through the endless setlist one and a half times. I can take this.

NYCC Sneak Peak at Pixar's Up

The wait was long, the security was draconian, and the room was practically empty... but the payoff was worth it. For a very lucky few, Pixar screened the first 50 minutes of this summer's film, Up. Lucky for us, we were tired enough from a day of running around the con that an hour+ wait in line didn't seem like such a punishment.

I'm not going to break this down with as much detail as the Watchmen open, but to be on the safe side: *Spoiler Alert*... I suppose... mostly because the movie so far has been little more than still images and a pretty teaser-I'm not sure how much marketing will show in the lead up to its release; but I was shocked at the direction the film took. So if you want to go into the movie fresh with no preconceptions, no need to keep reading. Then again, what I say below may very well be revealed in the next trailer, so who knows. Either way, read at your own risk.

Needless to say, Up was not quite what I expected. I was expecting a classic journey tale... perhaps on par with The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, or the Wizard of Oz, or Around the World in 80 Days, or, hell, even The Chipmunk Adventure... but the journey aspect of the film was relatively short lived.

That's not to say I was disappointed! Not at all. In fact, within the first 10 minutes, Up had an extended montage sans dialogue that was so unbelievably well executed and heartwarming that I was in tears. I've never cried at the first 10 minutes of a movie. I mean, if I ever cried at movies that is... cause I don't... cause only girls cry at movies... Anyhow, this montage will surely secure its place in cinema history. Talking afterwards, AHR suggested Pixar make an entire movie without dialogue... brilliant. Between this montage and the first 30 minutes of Wall-E, critics and fans alike should be clamoring for the same thing.

Anyway, broad strokes: Ed Asner's curmudgeonly Mr. Fredrickson is completely lovable, Jordan Nagai's 9 year old Wilderness Scout, Russell, is spotlight-hoggingly humorous (if at times a tad overbearing), and the balloon house is, frankly, awesome. Now here's where it gets a bit bonkers. Did you know there was going to be a goofy, giant mythic bird... or talking dogs? Me neither. Well there is. And they're all very funny. In fact, even if the journey element of the film seems short lived, Up has retained one of my favorite archetypes of the journey film: the assembling of the motley crew. And at the end of our allotted 50 minutes, it was quite a lovable team-I'd gladly sit through another 40 minutes watching this bizarrely mismatched group of explorers (you got your old man, your goofy kid, your dopey talking dog, and your wide-eyed, dodo-esque bird... what more do you people want?!?).

But all of this leaves me wondering if Up is more akin to a Dreamworks film... not that that's a bad thing-I loved Kung Fu Panda... but I worry that it may be lacking some sort of particular Pixar charm. I'm not sure what exactly... but something seemed missing. In fact, had it not been for the brilliant montage at the beginning, this could have passed for any other company's film; still great-but maybe not Pixar great. Again, this all sounds negative, but I left that screening smiling. And I'm wiling to wait till May for Pixar to prove me wrong again-they have many times in the past. Besides, I think they've earned a little blind faith over the past few years (at least enough to overlook Cars and pretend they have a perfect track record).

Geek Icons: The Eye Scar

Geekanerd has already taught you how to get some of that Mad Scientist style.

Now, we will teach you, the reader, how to look like a total scary badass, ALL THE TIME.

The secret is: EYE SCAR. Get an eye scar. This is a vertical scar that appears above and below the eye socket.


That's right, an Eye Scar. They're not just for Scar anymore. Though he does have a good one.

Eye Scars say to the world, someone tried to stab my eye out, and it just makes me look cooler. Cable knows it.

You can compliment the scar with a dead-eye, if that works for you. It's makes you look more creepy and villainous, but you risk losing sex appeal. Le Chiffre manages to pull it off.


This is probably going overboard, but you can decide the size of your eye scar yourself.

This is just the beginning. Much more after the jump. You know you're interested.



You don't HAVE to be evil if you have an eye scar. John Locke is a badass, but he's still a good guy. OR IS HE? You can never tell, with eye scars.

Hudson from Gargoyles is a good guy, but there's that edge. He also makes the dead eye work for him. "Grizzled" is an adjective you can often apply to people with eye scars.

Eye scars indicate that even if you're a cool customer like Jet, you are not to be messed with.

Eye Scars are also a good indicator of capacity for evil.

If you put an eye scar on an otherwise inoffensive looking person, like Bullworth Academy student Gary Smith, it's a good indicator of insanity.

Eye scars can be messy....

Or clean.



If you want to push yourself into the realm of "freakishly intimidating", you can make the eye scar REALLY messy.

At this point, the eye scar is just a jumping off point. But be careful; as with all forms of plastic surgery, it's easy to go too far. You don't want to end up like....

...THIS...

...or THIS...

...or God forbid, THIS.

As long as you avoid these pitfalls, a good eye scar will inspire intimidation wherever you go. I should know; when I was fifteen, I crashed into a tree and had an eye scar for a good month or so. It was the greatest month of my life, and I was feared and respected by all. It can work for you too!