Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The World War Hulk Guide to Onomatopoeia

Hello class. Please pass your homework to the front.

Great. David's absent again? Does anyone know if he's ok? No? Ok. Let's begin.

Today we're going to be learning about some onomatopoeia you might come across in your reading. We'll start simple.

bip bip bip

Standard radar alert meaning something has shown up on the screen that may or may not be a threat. Chances are it probably is, so proceed with caution.


A powerful shaking of the earth caused by "something big" landing. Usually the Hulk.

beep beep beep beep

A progression of the earlier mentioned "bip bip bip." Indicative of an increase in threat level. Does everyone get that? I see some confused faces... Let me use it in a sentence to illustrate the distinction from bip bip bip. Let's see... Ok. "Sir! Where before my radar station was bip bip bipping because of an unidentified anomaly, now it's beep beep beep beeping because the threat has been identified as an INCREDIBLY ANGRY FUCKING INCREDIBLE HULK COMING TO KILL ALL PUNY HUMANS!!!" Does that make more sense? Great. Yes, Johnny, you can use the restroom. Moving on.


A poorly designed spacecraft committing a party foul by interrupting the wannabe folk singer in the corner (notice said singer's disappointed face in the top of panel two).

spakoom! spakoom! spakoom!

Tony Stark destroying your apartment.

Okay, it's time for a


Please review the following onomatopoeia and identify its source.
James, calm down and take your cap off. Judy, thanks for raising your hand, but... First of all the bell hasn't rung yet so please take off your backpack. And your answer was? The Hulk? I'm sorry but...

Maybe if you spent less time thinking about getting out of here and more time listening to me you would have noticed the difference between the strong, masculine lines of the He-Hulk's "whakooom!" and the shaky, emotional rendering of the Lesser-Hulk's landing sound. Pay attention.

...Class, I don't think you appreciate how EXTREME the Hulk is. To give you a better idea, I'll use an onomatopoeia we're already familiar with:
That's right, a series of "beeps," the same warning we got when the Hulk was coming towards Earth. That event produced four "beeps," the above event produced fifteen. And you see that last panel? That's an entire planet exploding. So to put it in perspective, the Hulk coming is 4/15ths as dangerous as a bomb that kills every living thing on the planet.

Ok? Everyone got it? No, Johnny, you just went.

So now with that in mind, here it is, the GRAND DADDY OF ALL ONOMATOPOEIA....

Can everyone read that? Let me write it out more clearly...


Serious, right? So first a little background. Before the Civil Rights Movement, there was a system of segregation wherein different races sometimes used different facilities. In this case, there was a "Colored" Bathroom and a


We'll continue next week!

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