Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hack Lawyer Challenges Fake Samuel L. Jackson to Duel

We haven't done much talkin' in these parts about Jack Thompson, the outspoken and certifiably insane lawyer who shows up from time to time on TV and the web to explain how video games rape and murder newborn babies and eat the remains. Kotaku has done a swell job of covering his exploits, so we won't go over his sordid history too much here. Anyway, he popped up again to blame the recent NIU shooting on video games, and NewsGroper's fake Samuel L Jackson responded:
And I was also fucking amazed when I read about Christian conservative attorney Jack Thompson blaming all this shooting shit on video games again, like there ain’t no other possible got-damn reason on God’s green earth for a motherfucker to go batshit and blow away another person.
And then Jack comes along, as he's famous for doing, and responds to the post in the comments... Without realizing it's not really Sam Jackson's blog.

Jack says:
Mr. Jackson, I enjoyed your post about NIU and about me. Unfortunately, you could fit what you know about school shootings and their causes in a sleeve of Titleist golf balls. I’m a six handicap, and would love to play you a match anywhere anytime.

Here’s a proposal: Why don’t you debate me on this issue of whether violent video games cause real world violence. I’ll do it anywhere, anytime. You name it.

I dare you.

Jack Thompson, 305-666-4366,

PS: Saw you in Black Snake Moan this weekend. I thought you deserved an Oscar for your performance. Brilliant.

NewsGroper jumps on the opportunity and begins setting up the terms of a debate, and even after realizing it's a fake blog Jack agrees to debate the fake Samuel L Jackson. Why? Because, as I said before, he's certifiably insane. Not too long afterward, though, Jack reneges:

You know, some people have died because of jerkballs like jackson and his spike tv vga award mentality, so I’ll take a pass. grow up.
Fake Sam Jackson does not appreciate that one bit:
First of all, what the fuck? Why dare me to debate, spend all day organizing that debate, then insult me and pull out like the Purple fucking Pie-Man coming on Strawberry Shortcake? And then you call me a jerkball? What the fuck is a got-damn jerkball? Is that like a tribble with Parkinsons?
And in the comments of the original post, all Thompson has to say is:
You gamer idiots.

No comments: