Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Geek Icons: The Eye Scar

Geekanerd has already taught you how to get some of that Mad Scientist style.

Now, we will teach you, the reader, how to look like a total scary badass, ALL THE TIME.

The secret is: EYE SCAR. Get an eye scar. This is a vertical scar that appears above and below the eye socket.

That's right, an Eye Scar. They're not just for Scar anymore. Though he does have a good one.

Eye Scars say to the world, someone tried to stab my eye out, and it just makes me look cooler. Cable knows it.

You can compliment the scar with a dead-eye, if that works for you. It's makes you look more creepy and villainous, but you risk losing sex appeal. Le Chiffre manages to pull it off.

This is probably going overboard, but you can decide the size of your eye scar yourself.

This is just the beginning. Much more after the jump. You know you're interested.

You don't HAVE to be evil if you have an eye scar. John Locke is a badass, but he's still a good guy. OR IS HE? You can never tell, with eye scars.

Hudson from Gargoyles is a good guy, but there's that edge. He also makes the dead eye work for him. "Grizzled" is an adjective you can often apply to people with eye scars.

Eye scars indicate that even if you're a cool customer like Jet, you are not to be messed with.

Eye Scars are also a good indicator of capacity for evil.

If you put an eye scar on an otherwise inoffensive looking person, like Bullworth Academy student Gary Smith, it's a good indicator of insanity.

Eye scars can be messy....

Or clean.

If you want to push yourself into the realm of "freakishly intimidating", you can make the eye scar REALLY messy.

At this point, the eye scar is just a jumping off point. But be careful; as with all forms of plastic surgery, it's easy to go too far. You don't want to end up like....


...or THIS...

...or God forbid, THIS.

As long as you avoid these pitfalls, a good eye scar will inspire intimidation wherever you go. I should know; when I was fifteen, I crashed into a tree and had an eye scar for a good month or so. It was the greatest month of my life, and I was feared and respected by all. It can work for you too!


Albo said...

Is that Sub-Zero thing really a scar? It's so face-painty.

AHR said...

Let me google that for you, Albo:

Since MK3, Sub-Zero has had a scar running down from his forehead and across his right eye. The scar was originally red, and later changed to blue in the series canon as a result of Sub-Zero's enhanced powers. In MK: Deception, his scar has faded to the point where it can no longer be seen. In MK: Armageddon, Sub-Zero retains the scar, which is not part of his alternate costume. It is not until Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks, released ten years after MK3, in which the origin of Sub-Zero's scar is revealed after Kung Lao is seen in the game vertically slashing Sub-Zero's face with his hat.

Albo said...

Yeah, I Googled it too. Mortal Kombat is so dumb.

Bishop said...

Al you think everything is dumb.

Degan said...

wait wait wait... he giant scar is from a hat? I'm with albo... Mortal Kombat is so dumb. If it isn't dumb, then why's combat spelled with a "k", hmm?

Nick SantaCroce said...

I think we should all leave this debate to a rousing session of "Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe."

Bishop said...

Degan you can't talk shit, you love a film series that includes a henchman who kills people with his bowler.

LibraryTypeGirl said...

Spike had a scar too!

David said...

Where's Dr. Evil?

AHR said...

Sorry David, Doctor Evil's scar just misses the key "above and below the eye" distinction...his scar goes under his eye, but doesn't come up the other side.

AHR said...

How did you remember Spike had a scar in that ONE episode, LTG?

I'm impressed. Too bad vampires don't keep their scars : /

Sarah said...

Eye don't understand your admiration for eye scars.

If someone goes for your eye - that's scary, but there's basically no way you're gonna die.

In contrast, scars near major arteries say, "Death came looking for me, but I slipped out the back door."

I personally have a scar near one of my wrist arteries, and I know I've gotten several jobs because of it.

Bishop said...

What kind of jobs were hiring you based on your dangerous scars? Cage fighting referee? Feral cat masseuse? Scar technician?

Degan said...

I have to say, I love "death came looking for me but I slipped out the back door"! Sarah won me over, arterial scars are the true choice of the modern badass!

Johnny said...

You forgot Private Pilot Abilene from Southland Tales, my personal favorite.

"Yeah... Fallujah, sh*t got f*cked up. Anyways..."

Mojo said...

I have been trying to find as many pictures of this kind of scar for awhile now. My wife and I call it "the man scar". :)

AHR said...

I wrote this article just for you, mojo!

Mojo said...

We should combine our efforts. I had a big week this week with 10 new entries!
We have a lot of the same people but here's some I have that you don't have yet:
Adult John Conner from T2: Judgement Day (and you see how he gets it in Terminator:Salvation)
Black Jack (Japanese cartoon from 1973)
Grimjack (comic character, John Gaunt)

Kratos from God of War
King Leonidas from the movie 300 (plus his helmet gets the scar too!)
The orc from the cover of Warcraft III
The puppet "Scarface" from Batman
Gill, one of the tank fish from Finding Nemo.
Agent Nick Fury
"Woman with scar" from Secrets and Lies
and Peter Patrelli from Heroes
and I even got some real life examples (although they don't strictly match the definition):
Tony Atlas
Mary J Blige
Simonne Cooper (Australian singer)
Keep up the good work!!!!!