Henchmen 21 & 24 Wish You A Super Fabulous Christmastime!

It's ChristmasTime! That means Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick are gifting us all with their beautiful character voices via their annual Venture Brothers Christmas Carole. Is that coherent? I've got jetlag.

Venture Brothers Season 3 SPOILER after the jump! But chances are you won't really care, just click!


Merry Christmas! I always kind of hated 24, so this holiday season, his death is Astro Base Go's present to me. Hit the picture to go to QuickStop Entertainment, where you can download the MP3.

It's nice to hear Doc Hammer sing with something approaching a normal voice, freed from the constraints of his Doctor Girlfriend gravelvox. He's actually got a really nice signing voice. Has he had a chance to showcase that in the show? I don't think he has. Musical Episode? CAAMONN.

PS! If, like me, this song gives you the wonderful chance to feel young because you HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS, here is the original 1979 video by living legend, Paul McCartney.

Ruining Christmas with The Monarch and Doctor Girlfriend

True Venture Brothers fans probably already know that series creators Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick have released Christmas classics as performed by VB characters every December since 2004. But if this is news to you (it was to me), Merry Xmas! You get to sift through four sometimes hilarious, sometimes unlistenable holiday tunes - they're all available as MP3s at Quickstop Entertainment.

This year, happy couple Monarch and Doctor Girlfriend absolutely murder Fairytale of New York by the Pogues. It starts out well enough, as Doctor Girlfriend's deep, heavily accented voice is not radically different from the original version. But once Monarch starts in on the Kristy MacColl part...let's just say that if you add this to your Christmas party playlist, you will in fact ruin the holiday, possibly for years to come.

Speaking of Fairytale of New York, remember the opening titles of Basquiat? That's a good holiday movie. I mean, it doesn't take place during the December holidays, but....s'pretty.

NYC Weekanerd: Christmas and Non-Christmas Edition

It's Christmas Eve! Guess what you Gnerd readers are getting? Not our regular Monday Panel Discussion, that's for sure. Sorry about that, but the Geekanerd editors have been scattered across the country, away from from the scanners and fast internet connections of our Manhattan home base.

But we wouldn't completely leave you hanging, at least not those of you who live in NYC. Here's a very last minute Fun Size Xmas Edition Weekanerd, featuring only one Christmas event and two events specifically for those not celebrating Christmas. Which makes sense, because we can't exactly put "Playing Video Games With Your Teenaged Relatives" on there, which is what I assume most of those celebrating Christmas are are doing.

Event picks after the jump...

Monday, December 24th

• Jewltide 5
  
• 8pm @ Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave, Brooklyn

This annual non-Christmas party centers around a screening of Wet Hot American Summer, the best movie by sketch comedians since Life of Brian. A cool $10 gets you in the door, plus free Chinese food, guest DG Cosmo Baker, and the first 100 people get Michael Showalter's CD, "Sandwiches & Cats." Plus, FREE BOOZE! Almost; 2 for 1 vodka special for the first hour and a half.

Monday and Tuesday, December 24th & 25th

• Bad Santa: The Director's Cut
  
• Multiple Times@ The IFC Center, 323 Sixth Ave, Manhattan
  

Those who do want to celebrate Christmas but not with good cheer can check out Terry Swigoff's longer, dirtier version of his 2003 hit, Bad Santa.

Tuesday, December 25th

• Rob Reiner Retrospective
  
• @ The JCC, 334 Amsterdam Ave, Manhattan
  

The Princess Bride (!) at 4pm, When Harry Met Sally at 6:30, and a Chinese Food buffet in the middle. $15 bucks for both movies and another $15 for the food, but you can dice it up however you want, as long as it includes The Princess Bride and Chinese Food.

Giftanerd: Awesome Shit for the Geeks You Love

Has SantaBot snuck up on you this year? Have you found yourself empty handed with visions of crying geeks dancing in your head? Well don't let it come to that, get your ass on the internet and get some genuine geek shit shipped to you ASAP.

Mii Figurine - $50-100
Take a picture of your Mii of choice, send it out to these guys and you or someone you love will soon be the proud owner of a 3 or 5-inch replica of yourself/him/herself. And if my overzealous forward slashing isn't enough to make your head spin, these prices ($50 for the 3in., $100 for the 5in.) will.

Custom World of Warcraft Figurine - $100
If the Wii isn't your giftee's thing, and he or she is more into, say, World of Warcraft, boy have we got a figurine with his or her fake name on it! FigurePrints is offering great-looking replicas of Warcraft avatars for 100 bones. These things are extremely accurate, down to the low polygon count you see every time you log on. So accurate, in fact, that they'll only construct you with armor and weapons you actually possess in game.

Emoticon Magnets - $15
For either the chat addict or Welcome To Tranquility fan in your life. The designers have made the controversial decision to include the "nose" punctuation for maximum anthropomorphization, but at least they didn't include any of those bullshit ones like :# or :$..... I mean, what the hell is that?

GlaDOS Litograph - $35 ($90 Signed)
Of course, the more obvious item would be the Weighted Companion Cube toys ($30 fuzzy dice versions available, or $100 bucks for the standard plushie), but I'm holding out for the inevitable solid versions. I mean, plush isn't weighted. Nor particularly cubic. So if you have a crazed Portal fan in your life (and who doesn't), why not class it up and get them some expensive art that says, "I'm obsessed with a four hour video game"?

Original Lettering Overlays - $10
Wanna give the gift of original comic art but don't have hundreds to blow on eBay? Hot shot letterer Todd Klein is offering his original handwritten overlays for books ranging from Batman to Tom Strong. $10 will get you FIVE of these suckers. He actually has a ton of cool affordable stuff available at his store, so check it out.

Threadless.com T-Shirts - $10
T-shirts from Threadless are great gifts for dorks, because internet-cool people will approach the wearer and be like, "Oh, is that from Threadless? I love that site!". Instant cred. Plus there are plenty of geek-oriented shirts, from this saccharine moment of nerd nostalgia to typical nerd refrains.

PacMan Belt Buckle - $13
If you can't get laid wearing this, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd.