"Everything That Has Transpired Has Done So According To My Design!" - George Lucas

Here's the winner of a recent Cracked.com photoshop contest, 20 Insane Supervillain Schemes In Flowchart Form. Oh if only Lucas was truly an evil villain with a malicious scheme to crush the souls of those who love him most, at least I could still respect the man. This winning entry is by Mortal Wombat, AKA Christina H, who also co-wrote this list of The Top 8 Least-Threatening Comic Book Villians (WARNING: Much belittling of the Batman Rogues).

Notes on the other entries after the jump...

None of the other 19 flowcharts are even close to being as fun and on-point as this one, and some may offend your eyes with their loud and proud use of Photoshop. Notable runner ups include Magneto's scheme (#17), which has a deadpan charm to it, followed by what amounts to a sort of incoherent visual poem dedicated to Scientology's bid for world domination(#16). Chart #6 is that already excruciatingly played out There Will Be Blood meme, and #2 features some of that weird Hitler-Humor that a certain sect of internet humorists seem to like so much.

For those not in the know, Cracked.com doesn't really have anything in common with Cracked Magazine, the canceled Mad Magazine clone. Cracked.com is instead a CollegeHumor clone, and pumps these List articles out like they're going out of style, which, if Digg users are to be believed, they are not.

Talk Like A Pirate Day Loot - Monkey Island Artifacts

It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day! I already blew my pirate-talk wad with last monday's Weekanerd. While scurvy-speak doesn't come easy for a city-slicker like myself, writer/comic genius Al Ewing over at Re-Retro seems to have been born with saltwater in his veins. He's put together a great post on Monkey Island, the swashbuckilingest pirate related property of all time. And yes, I'm including the PotC trilogy, which while exquisite in it's humor and use of Kiera Knightly in drag, does not match the hours of wit and adventuring to be found in even just the first Monkey Island game. Also, dig that Steve Purcell cover art. Ehh?

Also included in Ewing's post are a series of videos showcasing an amateur theatrical adaptation of Monkey Island. Oh yes. It's all there for you to ingest via YouTube, if your stomach lining can take the pangs of embarrassment that comes form even watching an school play based on a computer game. But once you build up your tolerance, it's kind of amazing. Pretty good job on the costumes, although it doesn't top my Monkey Island II Guybrush Threepwood ensemble, which was the hit of a certain Lucasarts Adventure Game Costume Party in the fall of 1992.

LucasArts Bastards Holding Out On Us With Wii-Saber Game

From the moment the Wiimote was revealed every Geekanerd that wasn't too busy learning Klingon thought the same thing: "Vroooom, zhooom, crackle crackle!" Now LucasArts claims they've already got the damn thing going! Jim Ward, president of LucasArts, says "We’re all over that, and internally we have already played a lightsaber game on the Wii. It’s a lot of fun, and we’ll get there."

Translation: "Hell yeah we've got it! Shit is FUUUUNNN, too! Don't expect to get your grubby little Cheeto hands on it, though, cause we're having such a blast playing it I don't expect we'll have enough free time to actually release the thing. But hey... Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things... ::snicker::"

Read the full story at Gamasutra.