Please take a look at this Boba Fett Mimobot ad I received today and see if you can tell what's worked me into a fit of nerd rage.
Can you believe that? I mean, who fact checks this stuff? Did the copy editor call in sick?
MANDALORIA? *snort* Where's that? Somewhere in made-up fantasy land? I seriously doubt Boba Fett is headed back to Mandaloria. Because Mandaloria is not a place that exists. How can he be going to a place that doesn't exist? He can't. It's impossible.
Maybe he's on his way to MANDALORE, his adopted home planet and base of operations. That sounds like a more likely scenario to me, in all honesty.
JEEZ.
PS: If you'd like to own that promotionally incorrect yet still undeniably attractive flash drive (the helmet comes off and you can see his face!), head over to the online Mimobot Store.
Geekanerd has already taught you how to get some of that Mad Scientist style.
Now, we will teach you, the reader, how to look like a total scary badass, ALL THE TIME.
The secret is: EYE SCAR. Get an eye scar. This is a vertical scar that appears above and below the eye socket.
That's right, an Eye Scar. They're not just for Scar anymore. Though he does have a good one.
Eye Scars say to the world, someone tried to stab my eye out, and it just makes me look cooler. Cable knows it. You can compliment the scar with a dead-eye, if that works for you. It's makes you look more creepy and villainous, but you risk losing sex appeal. Le Chiffre manages to pull it off.
This is probably going overboard, but you can decide the size of your eye scar yourself.
This is just the beginning. Much more after the jump. You know you're interested.
You don't HAVE to be evil if you have an eye scar. John Locke is a badass, but he's still a good guy. OR IS HE? You can never tell, with eye scars.
Hudson from Gargoyles is a good guy, but there's that edge. He also makes the dead eye work for him. "Grizzled" is an adjective you can often apply to people with eye scars.
Eye scars indicate that even if you're a cool customer like Jet, you are not to be messed with.
Eye Scars are also a good indicator of capacity for evil.
If you put an eye scar on an otherwise inoffensive looking person, like Bullworth Academy student Gary Smith, it's a good indicator of insanity.
Eye scars can be messy....
Or clean.
If you want to push yourself into the realm of "freakishly intimidating", you can make the eye scar REALLY messy.
At this point, the eye scar is just a jumping off point. But be careful; as with all forms of plastic surgery, it's easy to go too far. You don't want to end up like....
...THIS...
...or THIS...
...or God forbid, THIS.
As long as you avoid these pitfalls, a good eye scar will inspire intimidation wherever you go. I should know; when I was fifteen, I crashed into a tree and had an eye scar for a good month or so. It was the greatest month of my life, and I was feared and respected by all. It can work for you too!
Hope everyone out there had a good Hallows Ween. The Geekanerd family certainly did, here are a few highlights from our costume pool.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the costume that will change the way we think about Halloween Costumes...FOREVER...
Sexy Rorschach. Your minds are now blown.
Rock Band Avatar, Homestar, Thor, Athena, The Thinkkaman, TWO Baby Leias (!), a Green Ranger, Jessica Rabbit, and the Silk Spectre after the jump... DEgan's baby niece went as Princess Leia for her very first Halloween ever. Awesome bandoleer!
Gnerd commenter Rob (of SpaceMonkeyX) wrote in to let us know his daughter also went as Leia for her inaugural Halloween. Step aside, Disney Princesses, the Star Wars gals are coming through! Her cinnamon bun headdress was entirely handmade by her mom, Andrea. Pretty "crafty"!
Gnerd Commenter Lena went as a Rock Band avatar...or is she Judy Nails?
Gnerd reader Nick went as Thor, and his GF Rachel went as Athena. Believe it, haters; geeks find love! It happens all the time!
More geek love, and what's a better couple than the Green Ranger and Jessica Rabbit!? These come from Gnerd readers Mike and Amy.
This post is mainly about some lady costumes, where were you guys? This is a great Silk Spectre I, though Lindsay admits "The hair was all wrong but I couldn't find a decent enough pin-up wig to complete Sally."
And finally, here is your editor AHR and your infrequent Contributor Sarah B as Homestar Runner and The Thnikkaman. Laugh all you want, but we got a bunch of shout-outs, many from cool and attractive seeming people. Seriously.
Did you dress up as a nerd icon? Send your pictures to tips@geekanerdblog.com.
To celebrate Independence Day weekend, my girlfriend and I watched all three original Star Wars movies back to back. We'd caught bits and pieces of the Prequels on TV earlier in the week, and I was surprised and thrilled to find her taking an interest in one of my strongest areas of geek trivia.
What follows is a list of the top 30 questions she asked me during our Star Wars marathon, and my unresearched answers (corrections and nitpicks are welcome). A NEW HOPE
1. Are those real people in the Stormtrooper outfits? Most of them - there are leftover clones as well.
2. Imperial senate? Dummy senate. They disband it in this movie.
3. Why does the first droid blow up? Deus ex machina? Expanded Universe would have us believe R5 blew himself up to help Artoo. follow-up: So we should assume R5 believes in the rebellion? I would say a) he probably just wants to help a fellow droid and.... b) maybe he does just want to help the rebellion, which stands for freedom and self-determination, and droids seem like they could hold those values too. I mean Artoo certainly does.
Unwise decisions, questions of motivations, and questionable force powers, after the jump... 4. If Threepio were given a message, would he want to deliver it too? He would want to deliver it if he was told to, but it's not as if Artoo was PROGRAMMED to deliver it. He's doing it because he wants to help the princess. Threepio might kind of forget about the whole thing if he got a new master.
5. Why is Obi Wan her only hope? Cause he's the only Jedi she knows about. follow-up: How does she know who he is? Her step-dad, Bail Organa, knew him and told her about him.
6. Why did Obi Wan put Luke on Tatooine, if that's where Darth Vader is from? Anakin doesn't know he has children; he thought he killed Padme before she gave birth. So there is no reason he would ever go back to Tatooine, in fact he might stay away from Tatooine since it reminds him too much of his old life. Also Shmi Skywalker was part of the Lars family for some years, so Beru and Owen Lars would feel a responsibility to take care of her grandchild.
7. Why doesn't the bar ("cantina" - Ed.) allow droids? is it some kind of racism allegory? Maybe because they don't drink?
8. Why is Obi Wan going alone to disable the tractor beam? He knows that Vader will sense him and come looking for him. follow-up: Why is Darth Vader just wandering around the hallway? Maybe he's on the way to another meeting?
9. Why does Leia appear to know who Luke is talking about when he says "I'm here with Ben Kenobi?" (she only knows the name Obi Wan, I thought) Um. She just hears Kenobi and parrots it back. It's a high stress situation.
10. Why did it take Obi Wan so long to get to the tractor beam? He's been sneaking around corners to get there, and it's a gigantic space station - he could have traveled like a mile.
11. Why did Obi Wan let Darth Vader kill him? He knows that luke will save the princess, and he can't beat Darth Vader. Also he can come back using the tricks he learned from Qui-Gon.
12. Why does the rebel general say "may the force be with you"? Can regular people use the force? Everyone is bound together by the force, Jedis just can use it in a literal way. Plus Jedi's have probably been kind of canonized as saints by the rebels, since they're all dead.
13. How do we know that Darth Vader is like, the best pilot? He was a good pilot in Episode Three, and when he was 9 he piloted pods, which humans are not supposed to be able to do.
EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 14. Why don't the droids freeze in the snow? They're made of space metal - Artoo can survive in the void of space. Also Threepio did say his joints were freezing.
BONUS COMMENT: "I bet Artoo knows everything that happened in the prequels, and is really uncomfortable right now."
15. What kind of clambake is Vader in? It's a private re-generation chamber.
16. Don't the rebels worry about what happened to Luke when he goes to Dagobah? He can do whatever he wants.
17. Doesn't Yoda know Artoo? He's seen lots of droids before.
18. Can Luke understand Artoo? When he's hooked up to a computer he can, otherwise he has to guess. Artoo may be saying "That's Yoda! He was on the Jedi Council" but Luke wouldn't know.
19. Why is Yoda acting like a drunk? He's testing luke's patience and empathy. 20. How did Boba Fett see the Falcon float away with the trash? Why didn't he tell the Empire? His ship, the Slave I, has great sensors - he didn't tell the Empire cause he wants the bounty.
21. Why does Vader torture Han and not ask him any questions? So that Luke can have a vision of his friends in pain. Anakin only had future visions of his loved ones in pain, so he assumes that's how it works for Luke too (and it does).
22. How does Darth Vader keep up his lightsaber skills? He's already got them - he was super powerful in his prime. He might train with the Emperor too, who beat Yoda in lightsaber combat.
23. Why does Luke try to contact Leia but not Han Solo? Short answer because she's force sensitive, long answer, he's "stretching out with his feelings" to find someone he knows to get him help, and since Han is in carbonite and dead to the world, he can't sense him. and since Leia is force sensitive anyway, he can sense her very strongly and can easily communicate with her.
RETURN OF THE JEDI
24. Does Vader even care about ruling the galaxy? Anakin always thought that he deserved a lot of power, because he was told for most of his life that he was "the chosen one." He talked with Padme about ruling everything so he could have things just like he wanted them.
25. What's Jabba's job? He's like a mob boss - he controls the crime syndicates on Tatooine. Hutts are like gangsters of the galaxies. 26. How did Leia know how to get Han out of the carbonite? She knows what she's doing. She could have asked Lando how to work it. There's just a little switch on the side.
27. Has Leia ever seen an ewok before? She seems not surprised to see Wicket. These guys aren't scared by any aliens - they were just on a sail barge with tons of horrible creatures and a giant slug monster. Plus they work with aliens. They can take a little teddy bear guy in stride.
28. Is Artoo annoyed at the ewoks? He's pretty easy going. He's just going with it.
29. Why can Leia remember Padme? She has force memory past powers. She can remember images, even though she was but a wee baby.
30. Why does Anakin know how to come back from the dead? That's hard; the Emperor told him that his Sith master could bring other people back from the dead, but not himself. So even if the Emperor taught Anakin how to do that, which I doubt he did, Anakin couldn't bring himself back. I think that Obi Wan and or Yoda pulled Anakin's spirit out of the force continuum, which they could do since he joined the light side at the last minute.
The Onion AV Club has posted their list of 20 Pop-Cultural Obsessions Even Geekier Than Monty Python. Now, are they saying Monty Python is the geekiest thing most people can think of, or that Monty Python is the zeroed out middleground for geeky obsessions? Python fans certainly distinguish themselves as some of the most quote-happy members of Geeksville, although I think at this point Simpsons fans have surpassed them in that department, as Python fans grow old and lose their memory along with their ability to reel off the Cheese Shop sketch in a horrible British accent (I'm not talking about myself, I've still got it). Here's the Top 20....
Star Trek
Ren Faires
Fantasy Sports Leagues (props for reaching out into non-traditional areas of geekiness)
Michael Jackson (the article makes a good case for it)
Wikipedia
Battlestar Galactica
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Joss Whedon
Meida-Specific Role Playing (like when you and your friends pretend to be Pokemons on AIM. Not that I did that.)
Game-Show Tape Trading (this sounds like something Seth MacFarlane would do)
After this, the list gets really lazy and just starts hitting non-specific branches of nerdery. Hit the jump for the last five and some analysis on what is conspicuously absent. 16. Anime (All anime?! Really?) 17. Cosplay 18. LARPing (not exactly POP culture, but whatever...) 19. Second Life/MySpace/FaceBook (According to the Onion these are all methods of fake socialization and therefore basically the same. But I think we all know SecondLife outgeeks those other two by a mile. SecondLife is made up of the .001st percentile of the geekiest people on earth, serial killers, and Ron Paul supporters. And I'm not saying any of those things are bad, okay!?)
20.Fanfic
The article write-up includes this curious line: "Yes, there are also interesting scripts, like a Home Improvement where Mark gets addicted to drugs, or a Fight Club epilogue that finds Tyler Durden eerily resurrected, but who wants to read that?" Oh yes, those poor outsider fanfic artists who daringly reimagine what might have happened if Tyler Durden came back to life. Now, I have not had the pleasure of reading any Fight Club fanfic, but I'm willing to bet he comes back to life in all of them.
Notably missing from this list are:
Comics Too hot right now to properly be considered a geeky fandom, I suppose.
Star Wars While no one can deny Star Wars has some insane fans, those who start up Stormtrooper garrissons and don't not believe the Force is real, I'm guessing this fandom is too diluted by casual fans and widespread acceptance to get on the list.
DnD I don't care if they do already have WoW and LARPing on there, there is no excuse for leaving off the grandaddy of them all that is still practiced today!
Going to a big Halloween parade? I know I am. And I also know I can't enjoy things outside of a structured context. So, who's up for some Halloween Costume Bingo?
That image is just a taste! Two 5x5 printable game cards, after the jump....
Printable Game Cards
Frequently Asked Questions:
How's this work again? If you see a costume, cross out the space. First person to get a row wins.
What if my opponent lies and says he saw something when he didn't? Both parties have to see the costume, unless you are both unfalteringly honest people.
What if I see a costume I need, but my opponent has it on his game card and I don't want him to get the space? Take a cell phone pic, and show it to your opponent after the costume in question is long gone.
I don't have a cell phone camera. Can't help you.
What happens if I win? The loser has to buy you an Incredible Hulk at a local tavern, and you have to drink it.
What if neither one of us ever gets a row? Then I have failed as a game-maker and whoever has the most spaces wins.
What if I don't see any of these costumes the whole night? That's ridiculous. I'm sure you saw Batman. Little kids and dogs count, you know.
Old to the internet but new to me, a Craigslist post titled "Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It..." should convince all you ladies on the prowl to come barkin' up the Geekanerd tree. The intrepid poster's reasons range from the practical ("it’s great to have a b/f who can fix your laptop") to the sexual ("They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra..."). Some other lovable qualities: a sense of romance, brains, ability to remember important dates, obsessions that keep them from flirting with other women, good grammar...
"Let's hear it for the nerds of New York, the coolest nerds on the planet. Like everything else in the big city, the intensity of the nerd experience here gets ratcheted up to astronomical levels because of the sheer density of nerds and the unlimited resources available to realize every nerd fantasy. With grassy parks to stage jousting tournaments, exhibition halls to host conventions, and shops to sell the paraphernalia for every nerdy pursuit, the New York nerd is the envy of his nationwide peers."
Here at Geekanerd, our tendrils of nerdism sometimes reach beyond standard geek fare. As our slogan says, we cover anything you can geek out about, and with that in mind, I bring you a new edition of a Geekanerd Classic...
Cultural Understanding Through McDonalds' Speciality Items An Adventure in Fast Food Anthropology
The (Mc)Southern Style Chicken Sandwich Invented in Atlanta and featured in a few other Southern states, it's got pickles, a steam-buttered bun, and a crispy chicken patty. Long story short, it's a Chik-Fil-A ripoff. What's next, McDonalds? Stealing the In-N-Out Burger recipe and calling it The Los Angeles Style Chicken Sandwich? Leave those poor Hyphenated-Name-Restaurants alone!
The Phantom (Mc)Touchdown Burger According to Wikipedia, Wisconsin has this item on the menu, but guess what? They don't say what's in it, nor is there any information about it on the McDonalds website. What are you hiding, Wisconsin? Is the Touchdown Burger too delicious to share? Well you can keep your secrets, and you can keep your football-theme sandwiches. It's probably just a pork rind and cheddar cheese on a roll.
The (Mc)Crabcake Sandwich Unique to Maryland and Delaware shores. Shellfish from McDonalds? Rly? Seems like a high risk for a low reward.
More local delights and shocking international editions after the jump...
The (Mc)Texas Homestyle Burger Texas gets it's own burger because apparently Texans like onions, pickles, and huge amounts of mustard. Well, pin a rose on your nose, Texas. Why no New York or California specific burgers, I wonder? The disastrous failure known as the Arch Deluxe might have been targeted on those two states, because they're the gay capitals of America and this is one gay looking burger. Sorry McDonalds, it's going to take more than Grey Poupon to get the LGBT community to give you a second glance.
Let's leave these forspacious skies and turn our attention to our international friends.
The (Mc)Double Beef and Bacon: Australia once again emasculates the rest of the world by demanding everything in their country be on scale with the size OF their country. This burger was so hugely popular that it is now policy in Australia to add bacon to any McItem for an extra 80 cents.
The MegaMac
On second thought, forget Australia, it's that Japan beats everyone else in turns of going way, way overboard in all aspects of life. McDonalds certainly wouldn't be able to get away with a literally heart-stopping item like this in the States, given their current scapegoat status for the US obesity epidemic. The US fast food industry has to leave it to Subway to create sandwiches so big you can't fit them in your mouth.
(It should be noted at this point in the post I gave up on Wikipedia and went straight to the sources - official international websites. Since apparently half of the world uses alphabets that look like a bag of broken pretzels, the following names are my best guesses.
The McBrazil In China Once again, the commies beat us at our own game. I've notated the image, so please direct your attention to the luscious red(!) cabbage, exciting bright orange sauce that looks like the stuff that comes on expensive sushi, and the coup degraaaaa, what appear to be sesame seeds BAKED INTO the burger. If this is what they're cooking up in China, the red tide cannot come soon enough.
Israel McFlatties What is going on here, guys?
Even though I feel there is still so much work to be done, that does it for this edition of Understanding World Cultures Through Fast Food Sandwiches. Let's all remember that it is the differences between ourselves and our neighbors that make new ideas possible, and that if you eat at McDonald's regularly you heart will eventually resemble a Chicken McNugget.
For obvious reasons, we here at Geekanerd are always looking for good ways to explain the difference between a geek and a nerd. In a recent Wired interview, Patton Oswalt (described in the article as "a lightsaber-toting Lenny Bruce") explained his take on it:
"A lot of nerds aren't aware they're nerds. A geek has thrown his hands up to the universe and gone, 'I speak Klingon — who am I fooling? You win! I'm just gonna openly like what I like.' Geeks tend to be a little happier with themselves."
Wikipedia defines the two terms thusly:
Geek: "An individual who is fascinated by knowledge and imagination, usually electronic or virtual in nature." Nerd: "Refers to somebody who passionately pursues intellectual or esoteric knowledge or pastimes rather than engaging in social life"
Anyone else care to chime in with their own personal distinctions?
Also, read the rest of that Wired article for choice bits from Oswalt about his D&D midlife crisis and murdering George Lucas with a shovel.
