Panel Discussion: Scans From Thunderbolts, Hack/Slash, Black Lightning and More

Movie Moment - Street Fighter Turbo #3
Here, Mexicano street fighter El Fuerte knocks a frying pan on American Eagle's head, but the fight is resolved because the food is just that freakin' good (also, Native American pride).

We've got some major league Robert Rodriguez fans here at Gnerd, so we were quick to spot this Once Upon A Time In Mexico reference. In that movie, Johnny Depp kills a cook because his spin on this VERY SAME dish is just to damn good to exist.

Writer Ken Siu-Chong must be a Rodgriguez fan, but he's clearly never had the dish in question, cause it's actually spelled Puerco P-I-B-I-L, not P-E-P-I-L. BUSTED! Eh, it's all good ese! Here's the recipe for those of you playing at home, courtesy of the man himself.



Sexy Prezes, Sexy Lezes, Violence, and a Scary Looking Dog, after the jump...


Unnecessary Roughness - Black Lightning #2

This kid isn't like, a child rapist or anything. He's a small time dealer. And here's Black Lightning smashing his face into a window frame not once, but TWICE, before even asking him any questions! That's some Gitmo shit right there. Even Batman usually just hangs people upside down or something.

Project Runway Award - Thunderbolts #128
Whoa! Lookin good, Mister O! Last time we saw the Prez in the Marvel universe, he was looking like a big eared square. Now, he's rocking some sweet shades and even sweeter shading, courtesy of artist Roberto De La Torre. Now that's change I can believe in!

Character of the Week - Pooch, Hack/Slash #19
Ah, Pooch. Over the last year we've come to know and love this dumb, hateful, servile and self pitying little demon horse/dog. But before this issue, we have never understood his most endearing quality; loyalty. Pooch sacrifices himself to a demon asassin to protect his master, his master's friends, and even the other dogs at his master's kennel. He ends up frozen and dying alone on a rock, hoping only that when his master finds him, "he will pet the corpse of his loyal Pooch". Spoiler Alert: Pooch survives, but if he didn't, this would have been a tearjerker to rival this mess.

Beatdown of the Week - Black Lightning #2
Not so much a beatdown, but a single kick that takes out no less than FOUR GUYS!


Banana Randomizer Award for Achievement in WTF - Star Trek: Countdown #1
WHAT?! This is supposed to be a PREQUEL to the Star Trek movie, in which Kirk and co are like, 20-somethings. And here's Data as the CAPTAIN of the Enterprise? And is that Tasha Yar? What? What? Screw this. None of the real Enterprise crew was even in this piece of crap, it was all about some Romulans in their stupid bathrobes. Uch. Tie-Ins at their worst, right here.

Wait, What? - Hack/Slash #19

This is hot, but why has Margaret never kissed a girl before? I thought she was a lesbian. CASSIE is the one who has never kissed a girl before. No? Is this an editorial mistake, or did I miss something? Either way, hot.

Most Extreme Foreshortening - Thunderbolts #128
This is almost some cool Aeon Flux looking stuff going on here...but man she's got a big head.

Panel Discussion: Scans From Batman and the Outsiders, Street Fighter II: Turbo, Ex Machina, and More

Every Monday, we at Geekanerd rip panels from last Wednesday's comics and post the best, the worst, and the weirdest. If you didn't read your books this week, beware of spoilers.

Most Inappropriate Superhero Posturing

What, that's not how you use a computer?

Burn Of The Week - Thunderbolts #129
I have been waiting for almost a year for someone to tell Penance that his tragic pain-fueled power shtick is lame and boring. Moonstone is exactly the right sociopath for the job. If you don't want to click the panel to read it, here's a summary; "By the way Robbie, do you want to see your new costume?" "What? I don't need a new costume..." (Moonie holds up a straight jacket) "Here, what do you think?" Awesome. If your burn session involves props, you're doing something right.

Celebrity Casting Corner - Ex Machina #39 and Street Fighter II Turbo #2

This weeks comics had a little visit from the current Republican administration...first up, Karl Rove..


Meanwhile, a familiar and very confused presidential figure gets a visit from Cammie....
HOLY! Okay, even if this is just a training simulation (VUUUUUUM is the sound of the projector powering down), and even if this guy doesn't look EXACTLY like W, I feel like I might get sent to Guantanamo Bay just for BUYING this comic.

Most Emo Panel - East Coast Comix #1
This is exactly how I feel every day. JK LOL. No really. Anyway, this panel walks the line between amateur and brilliant, and I think it comes down on the latter.

Banana Randomizer Award for Achievment in WTF - Batman and the Outsiders #13
This panel would make MC Escher throw up. What is Manbat doing to Batgirl? Hmm? From what angle are these events transpiring? Is Batgirl in mid-jump, or is she standing on the ground? Is her momentum going up, or down? The motion lines would indicate up, but the way her cape is billowing indicates down. Blarg.

Snap Judgements: Ex Machina #39, Thunderbolts #126, Ambush Bug #4 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some minor spoilers.

Ex Machina #39 gets an A from DEgan
From the beginning, Ex Machina has been one of the only books to actually give you a sense of "this is what it'd actually be like..." And that's saying alot considering so many books strive to achieve just that. But Ex Machina is the only one to deliver on that promise-and it delivers well. This issue is the conclusion to the "Dirty Tricks" story arc-and gives us one of the most intriguing final showdowns between a "supervillain" and a "superhero"... And that's assuming that Karl Rove wasn't the supervillain of the book. He makes a subtle appearance at the end-they don't say it out right, but he's a white house deputy and looks alot like our favorite turd blossom. His inclusion in the story only furthers the sense that this really happened-and again that's impressive considering one of the characters speaks to machines! If you aren't reading this book, get caught up! Its one of my favorites.

The Flash #246 gets a B+ from DEgan
This issue deals with one of the most genuine and loving relationships in the DCU-Linda Park West is dying and the flash fam is not too happy about it. Considering 6 of the pages are series flashbacks (and still don't convincingly explain how she goes from local reporter to world class scientist)-its impressive I enjoyed it as much as I did. Even the hardened comic book cynic that I am, is still genuinely concerned about the outcome of this story. They've done a great job at making me believe Linda is actually on the brink of death (hell, even the Spectre says its gonna happen...) And if she does die... well I just don't know what I'll do with myself... This book had me feeling it.

Thunderbolts #129 gets a B from AHR
I stopped reading this after Ellis left, but this is the start of a two issue interlude by Andy Diggle, so this is probably a good time as any to get back on. And wouldn't you know it, this issue offers all the good stuff that attracted me to this series in the first place. Norman Osborn acting like a dick, Bullseye being scary, and everyone being mean to poor lil Songbird. This issue also features the scene I've been waiting for a while, in which Moonstone, in full blown evil psychiatrist mode, tears down Penance for a lame and boring character. Yay!

Reviews for Street Fighter II Turbo #2 and Ambush Bug #4, after the jump...

Ambush Bug #4 gets a B- from DEgan
As confusing as this book is, it has me laughing an awful lot. I wasn't privy to the Ambush Bug heyday in the 80's... so there might be alot I'm missing. But there's something about it; I feel like I'm on the outside looking in-but so want to be on the inside! This book is really only for the diehard DC fans-but luckily this issue dealt heavily with 52 (which I followed obsessively) so for once I was half in the loop! The issue begins with Dan Didio suffering an embarrassing death-and follows the inexplicable Argh!Yle (Ambush Bug's nemesis who happens to be a sock) through the pages of 52 as he tracks down the Bug. I particularly enjoyed the 52 parody "time/place" subtitles which were all replaced with "page 9, Panel 2" and so on. Its also good to see Wicker Sue Dibny make a cameo. I dunno... this books to odd to explain. But there's some sick part of me that keeps bringing me back for more. I used the word "but" an awful lot in this review... and that goes to show how torn I am about enjoying this.

Street Fighter II Turbo #2 gets a C from AHR
I loved the first issue of this series because it was just a bunch of crazy fights and character moments. This issue has it's share of crazy fights, but aside from a nice moment of pathos early on, there isn't much else to keep your attention. It also feels really short, because there's an extremely boring backup story about Abel, a new character from Street Fighter IV. On the plus side, Cammie sexily assassinates a politician who looks a lot like George W., which is probably worth the price of admission.

Panel Discussion: Scans From Mercy Sparx, Amazing Spider-Man, Street Fighter II: Turbo, and More

Every Monday, we at Geekanerd rip panels from last Wednesday's comics and post the best, the worst, and the weirdest. Those who didn't read books last week, beware of SPOILERS.

Beatdown Of The Week - Mercy Sparx #1

Man, we haven't had one of these in a while! But demonic anti-hero Mercy Sparx stole our hearts this week with her repeated blows to the head in her fight against a rogue angel.

Mercy starts things off right with a face punch into a bathroom mirror.

They take it outside, and Mercy doles out a classic knee to the face.

Kick to the head! This girl is awesome.

After Mercy wins the fight and takes the angels halo, she throws in an extra right cross, just because.

The angel defeated, Mercy is forced to end her reign of head smashing. Or is she? Man down! All in all, five different varieties of blows to the head in seven pages. Numbers don't lie, this book is awesome!

Dumb and crazy art, Spider-Man loses it, and the most forced cliffhanger ever, after the jump...


Uh, Yeah... We Got That - Monster Size Hulk
At one point in the story Bruce Banner locks a werewolf in a cage... And in case you aren't perceptive enough to identify a padlock, the artist throws you a bone with a big ugly Photoshop "LOCK" label. Thanks guys.

Most Extreme Foreshortening - Street Fighter II: Turbo #1
I don't really have anything to say here. Just...that is some serious foreshortening. The more you look at it, the more bizarre it becomes.

Dr. Spidey - Amazing Spider-Man #573
Look at what a good job Spidey did administering first aid to himself using webbing as bandages. The only problem? In one hour that dude is gonna start bleeding out.


Worst Cliffhanger - Street Fighter II: Turbo #1

I really loved this book, but I can't resist making fun of it. Do yourself a favor and read this next page...c'mon, it takes place "In Alaska"!

Got that setup? In case you absolutely refuse to click that panel, I'll tell you what Ryu is thinking as he meditates by the fire: "If Akuma shows his face at the tournament for our rematch as he promised, I will be ready to avenge your death, Master...I swear." Got that? Then the door creeeeks open - who could it be???


....wait for it....


OH SNAP.

He Raises a Valid Point - Amazing Spider-Man #573
I imagine it's pretty frustrating to have a villain like Norman Osborn, who can die a bagillion times and still come back to be a big pain in the ass. So it makes sense that Spidey would find it pretty easy to justify breaking his Golden Rule.

Snap Judgements: Street Fighter II Turbo #1, Fables #77, and Welcome To Hoxford #3 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Mercy Sparx #1 gets an A from AHR
Devil's Due Publishing is already publishing one book about an anti-hero ass-kicking punked-out girl who busts supernatural foes, do they really need two? The answer is yes, if they're both really good. And Mercy Sparx, like it's soul-sister Hack/Slash, is really good. I love stories that take the war between heaven and hell into the modern era, and this book does it with just the right amount of relaxed humor and genuine badassery. The main character, despite looking like a Coop illustration, is a great female lead; she's cool, violent, and boorish, a completely believable young demon who the author treats like a real protagonist, not just a sexy avatar to hang the plot around. The art is a little rough around the edges, but it's a minor complaint. Here's hoping the quality level stays up, this could be a contender.

Fables #77 gets an A from DEgan
This book almost never disappoints. Even after the conclusion of a years-spanning story arc, the overall story doesn't skip a beat; and all without feeling like we're rushing from plot point to plot point. Bill Willingham is one of the best (if not the best) paced storytellers in comics today. We dive right into Fabletown dealing with the aftermath of their victory against "the empire"... and all the bureaucratic problems this may pose... I personally didn't know how the series could continue after the war's conclusion, but Willingham has introduced multiple new story elements that having me craving more. If you don't read Fables, get caught up and start reading-it's the book I most look forward to every month.

Reviews for Welcome To Hoxford and Street Fighter II Turbo after the jump...

Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge #3 gets an A- from DEgan
The flash was one of my first superhero comics, so I've always had a soft spot for the Rogues... and this title under the Final Crisis banner, while almost completely unrelated to the Final Crisis (whatever that actually is), is probably my favorite. Some of the best treatment of the rogues in a long time-Johns really treats each character lovingly. Unlike Batman's rogues gallery, whose personalities are defined by their mental disorders-the Flash's rogues all seem to be defined by their obsessions. And they compliment each other perfectly. Plus this series has continued to show how these dorky-on-the-outside super villains are in fact some of the believably biggest badasses of the DC universe. However, I was looking forward to this title tying into the crisis at the end-and at the conclusion of this story (though an awesome cyclical finish to their journey as Flash killers) all hopes of this story melding with the Final Crisis seem thwarted.

Street Fighter II Turbo #1 gets an B+ from AHR
Here's what happens in this issue: we meet the main fighters, they all do a special move, they all talk about going to the tournament, and at the end there's the most awkward, forced cliffhanger I've ever seen in a comic. And I loved every page. The art is banana bread nutzo, with action sequences full of perspective so forced it'll make your stomach turn. I'm trying to say I enjoyed this, which is really saying something since I mostly picked it up to get some pin-ups of Vega (and there AREN'T any!).

Welcome To Hoxford #3 gets an B- from AHR
Villain on villain dynamics can be a lot of fun if everyone is genuinely and uniquely evil; it creates some unusual and interesting social situations. In this issue, we get some survival horror where the all the survivors are serial killers and sex maniacs, and there's really no heart of gold to be seen. The big problem is this book is literally very dark, as in lots of shadow, and Ben Templesmith has given all the convicts very similar faces, so even though we've got a lot of colorfully horrible characters, it's next to impossible to tell them apart. Also there's also some rape sensationalism (just the threat, not the act), which while believable in context, is kind of unpleasant to read. Still, this book is solid horror, and the art, when distinguishable, is top notch.