Monday, June 25, 2007

Breaking up is hard to do.

dum de dum de dum...[trip-stumble-BANG] OW! Sonofabitch! Wha in the... Who the hell put this blog here?!? I mean, seriously! Come On!

Well, a blogs a blog, and its either this or the Huffingtonpost... but they seem to be desperately lacking in any mention of the infinite crisis so I suppose here's as good a place as any.

Onto the quick business at hand. Relationships are tough. Period. (you were supposed to pronounce the "." after "tough" but I didn't trust you to do it, so I had to spell it out for you, sorry if that insults your intelligence). BUT breaking up is even tougher. I suppose if you're a proper geek, you don't have too much experience in this arena, but I trust that most of you have, at one point, been digging on some fine anime honey (or homey) and things may have gotten serious. So you know where I'm coming from.

Well, I had to end a relationship recently and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. We've been seeing each other since the 6th grade and ending it almost killed me. "Cards, comics and collectibles" in Resterstown, MD has been nothing but a loving, faithful, and supportive comic book store... and I go and spit in her face. What kind of man am I? (find out after the jump!)

Well, I'll tell you the kind of man I am. The kind who moves to the big city, forgets all about his faithful girl back home, and starts messing around with all sorts of comic book stores (brazen hussies that they are) Then I started goin steady with St Mark's Comics (the whore!)... and poor CCC back home had no idea. I cheated on her for years before I finally had the stones to break it off! I had subscription boxes in both stores! What a cad!

Well, the day of the big breakup was tough... took me almost an hour to summon the courage to cancel my subscriptions... I don't want to bore you with details... but it was messy. And now that midtown tramp, Midtown Comics, is tempting me with her $20-credit-with-ever-$100-spent offer... I'm only a mere mortal! Who can resist that temptation!

So friends, I'm writing to urge you not to make the same mistakes that I have. The relationship you have with your comic book store is special, and you have to treat them right, and with loyalty. The comic store is a refuge, a place for like-minded misfits and outcasts to come together and say "Yes! I too think Jason Todd should still be dead!" Who else knows you better than that rack of fresh comics, spines fresh to the touch. Who will take you in on a Wednesday afternoon and say, "it's ok, here, read this till you make it to the weekend." So please, treat her with respect and love. Don't be like me. Be a gentleman (or lady). Oh, and wear a condom!

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