Saturday, August 04, 2007

Cultural Understanding Through McDonalds' Speciality Items

Here at Geekanerd, our tendrils of nerdism sometimes reach beyond standard geek fare. As our slogan says, we cover anything you can geek out about, and with that in mind, I bring you a new edition of a Geekanerd Classic...

Cultural Understanding Through McDonalds' Speciality Items
An Adventure in Fast Food Anthropology

The (Mc)Southern Style Chicken Sandwich
Invented in Atlanta and featured in a few other Southern states, it's got pickles, a steam-buttered bun, and a crispy chicken patty. Long story short, it's a Chik-Fil-A ripoff. What's next, McDonalds? Stealing the In-N-Out Burger recipe and calling it The Los Angeles Style Chicken Sandwich? Leave those poor Hyphenated-Name-Restaurants alone!

The Phantom (Mc)Touchdown Burger
According to Wikipedia, Wisconsin has this item on the menu, but guess what? They don't say what's in it, nor is there any information about it on the McDonalds website. What are you hiding, Wisconsin? Is the Touchdown Burger too delicious to share? Well you can keep your secrets, and you can keep your football-theme sandwiches. It's probably just a pork rind and cheddar cheese on a roll.

The (Mc)Crabcake Sandwich
Unique to Maryland and Delaware shores. Shellfish from McDonalds? Rly? Seems like a high risk for a low reward.

More local delights and shocking international editions after the jump...

The (Mc)Texas Homestyle Burger
Texas gets it's own burger because apparently Texans like onions, pickles, and huge amounts of mustard. Well, pin a rose on your nose, Texas.

Why no New York or California specific burgers, I wonder? The disastrous failure known as the Arch Deluxe might have been targeted on those two states, because they're the gay capitals of America and this is one gay looking burger. Sorry McDonalds, it's going to take more than Grey Poupon to get the LGBT community to give you a second glance.

Let's leave these forspacious skies and turn our attention to our international friends.

The (Mc)Double Beef and Bacon:
Australia once again emasculates the rest of the world by demanding everything in their country be on scale with the size OF their country. This burger was so hugely popular that it is now policy in Australia to add bacon to any McItem for an extra 80 cents.

The MegaMac

On second thought, forget Australia, it's that Japan beats everyone else in turns of going way, way overboard in all aspects of life. McDonalds certainly wouldn't be able to get away with a literally heart-stopping item like this in the States, given their current scapegoat status for the US obesity epidemic. The US fast food industry has to leave it to Subway to create sandwiches so big you can't fit them in your mouth.

(It should be noted at this point in the post I gave up on Wikipedia and went straight to the sources - official international websites. Since apparently half of the world uses alphabets that look like a bag of broken pretzels, the following names are my best guesses.

The McBrazil In China
Once again, the commies beat us at our own game. I've notated the image, so please direct your attention to the luscious red(!) cabbage, exciting bright orange sauce that looks like the stuff that comes on expensive sushi, and the coup degraaaaa, what appear to be sesame seeds BAKED INTO the burger. If this is what they're cooking up in China, the red tide cannot come soon enough.

Israel McFlatties
What is going on here, guys?

Even though I feel there is still so much work to be done, that does it for this edition of Understanding World Cultures Through Fast Food Sandwiches. Let's all remember that it is the differences between ourselves and our neighbors that make new ideas possible, and that if you eat at McDonald's regularly you heart will eventually resemble a Chicken McNugget.


Hunter said...

Maybe those Israel burgers are unleavened. Or is that joke implicit? Or worse, is that just the actual fact of the matter? I may be late to lunch, but IN KOREA THERE ARE BULGOGI BURGERS AT MCDONALDS. Worth it.

Centurion said...

As a Wisconsinite, I used to love the Touchdown burger. It was a triple cheeseburger, but laid flat on a roll like what the McRib is served on. It has cheese and sliced onions and mayo and lettuce. It was awesome. They don't serve it anymore and haven't for years. But in the early 90's, every year during the advent of football season, it graced menus. It's the only McDonald's food I ever looked forward to.

Milpool said...

The McLobster is a staple in Eastern Canada.