Harry Potter and the Chinese Rip-Offs

The New York Times has collected excerpts from eight unauthorized Chinese Harry Potter books, including "Harry Potter and the Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon" and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince." Gandalf himself makes a cameo in at least one of the tales. A sample of the literary delights that await you in Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon:

Harry doesn’t know how long it will take to wash the sticky cake off his face. For a civilized young man, it is disgusting to have dirt on any part of his body. He lies in the elegant bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dudley’s face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia’s bottom.

I also recall hearing about some manga floating around that involves a good bit of Potter/Malfoy snogging, though I'm a little afraid to start searching for such a thing. Insecure sexuality and all that.

Check out the rest of these snog-free stories at the NYT (may require free registration) and have a look at the rest of our Harry Potter coverage, including pictures and video from Deathly Hallows release parties!