Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Future is Here Pt. 3
When Robots Attack

Jetpacks and flying cars are great and all, but the future will not truly be here until robots become a viable threat. I'm of the firm belief that the very instant we allow robots to make their own logical decisions the very first one they will make is that it's in their best interest to wipe out humanity. You may say "We're not stupid enough to put the power to kill us in the hands of an entity that may use it!", but a quick look at history shows that we have in fact made that exact mistake many times over. Now, the inevitable decision to kill us may be a ways off, but the other half of the equation is: will they be physically capable of overwhelming us once the decision is made? Unfortunately, things are coming along pretty well in that department, as robots are being given new and terrifying talents easily adaptable to the purpose of destroying all humans. The one above, for instance, could chase down neighborhood kids on bikes with ease. Give him a pole to stick in the spokes and say goodbye to Johnny's face.

More blood-chilling examples of killer robot skillz after the jump.

Dexterity of a Serial Killer

One can imagine that the same skills used to solve this Rubik's Cube could be applied to dismantling your spine.

Strength and Precision to Bust Heads

It's a small step from smashing homers to smashing you.

Extreme Crushing Strength

This thing seems to know to how to swing you around while keeping your face from smashing the ground. Which of course means it also knows HOW to smash your face into the ground. It won't be long until he's sick of all the humans laughing at him and makes pulp of them all.

Ability to Blend In

You won't know she's a robot until it's already too late. (I actually yelped when she began to speak!)

Advanced Chasing Capabilities

They can walk, swim, climb and fly, which for you means one thing: THERE IS NOWHERE TO RUN. Be sure to skip to the end of the "Mule" video to see some humans try to knock it over... AND FAIL.


Well, the danger in this is kind of self explanatory. The video even shows this mindless killing machine targeting humans. We are TELLING THIS ROBOT TO KILL HUMANS. I love it.

Abandon all hope.

Read the first two parts in our "The Future is Here" series.

Skating Robot via Gizmodo.

1 comment:

Bishop said...

Something about watching that thing move on it's wheels is mildly terrifying. If I saw something like that moving towards me at high speed, I would probably run away very fast.