Obama With A Lightsaber

Jeez, Obama. Why are you such a nerd all the time? You're talking to Spider-Man, you give DVD Box sets to visiting world leaders, you're hanging out with John Hodgman....and now you're waving a lightsabre around on the White House lawn?!

For the first time in my life as an American, I truly believe one day I could be President.

Boring Context: Chicago wants to host the 2016 Olympic Games, so Chi-Guy Obama did some photo ops with a few Olympians, including some fencers. But where did he get a lightsaber? Did some Olympic PR intern bring it along for LOLs, or does Obama carry one at all times for his own personal protection? I need an answer.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Secret Six, Red Robin, Dark Reign: The List, and More!

Every week (usually) we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Click for higher res.

Oh Hell No - Thunderbolts #135

Crazy unbelievable things happen all the time in comics, and this is how things should be. But every now and then there's a panel or two that just makes you go, "Oh hell no." These panels are fine examples. Lightsabers deflecting laser blasts, that I buy. Little metal bracelets attached to superhuman arms deflecting bullets, okay. But a thin metal blade deflecting a hail of near point-blank gun fire? You pushed me too far, comics. I just don't see it happening.

Best Punchline - Secret Six #13

So maybe this joke is actually not any funnier than any other bit in a Gail Simone book (it's a high bar), but the rarely used "PUNCHLINE SPOTLIGHT" really brings it home. If this were a cartoon, there'd be a wacky musical stinger and all the other Sixers would yell "waaaughh!" and fall down. This is why there should be a Secret Six cartoon. I will fund it.


Worst Peer Counseling - Red Robin #4

Regardless of whether or not Tim should be in therapy, Dick should not be suggesting it mid-fight as Tim throws a kick to his face. Tim is not likely to be receptive, and it's not going to defuse the the tension at that particular moment.

Most Unintentionally Hilarious Panel - Political Power - Barack Obama
But does young Barry Obama actually smoke that gigantic blunt? We'll never know, because this is the end of that scene. Either way, that picture of the beatifically young and innocent Mr. Obama with a huge joint in his face is totally awesome.

Best POV Shot- Secret Six #13
In case you ever wondered what it would be like to be Deadshot, here you go! Bursts of light, dead people, and bullet casings, in that order.

This one-panel sequence is just a idle daydream, but it's worth noting that in Deadshot's rebellion fantasy he kills his teammate Ragdoll along with his employers. Is that really necessary? I understand wanting to make a clean break of things, but Ragdoll tends to just go with the flow; I'm inclined to believe if Floyd decided to revolt against his employers (which I suspect he will by next issue), Ragdoll would switch sides just as easily - he's not much of a threat on his own anyway. I think the choice to include Ragdoll in the carnage is a way to indicating Floyd's distaste for the mission, and anyone who'd go along with it, despite how he himself has rationalized it.

Nitpick Alert - Red Robin #4
It's great that Tim hearts the troops, but I think he may be selling himself just a leeeettlle bit short here. This kid has taken on trained ninjas from the League of Shadows, not to mention all manner of alien/demon things during his Teen Titan adventures. I think he can handle a trio of soldiers.

Achievement in Rudeness - Dark Reign: The List #1

Context: Hawkeye (or Ronin or Clint or whatever) wants to pull a CIA style assassination on Norman Osbourne, cause why not!
DAMN! This is why people hate superheroes in your universe, Ms. Marvel. They're so damn superior! Can you please give whatshisname a real answer about why it's not okay to just kill Norman Osbourne? At least pull out the old "because we're better than that" or "it's a slippery slope" or "at what cost" or "who's next?". Don't just pick at your gloved fingernails and look at him like he just peed on the carpet. This is why I only read Marvel books for the villains.

Best Detail - Secret Six #13
Look, I know there are multiple scratches on the walls in Scandal's bedroom. She wears huge knives on her hands, it'll happen. I get that. But I just feel that it would be remiss not to point out that the wall above the headboard of her bed appears to be splintering apart. I appreciate that.

John Hodgman Tests the President's Geek Mettle

I never thought I'd see a Correspondent's Dinner more entertaining than Stephen Colbert's (though, he still holds the record for ballsiest-that's for damn sure). That is until John Hodgman catered his speech specifically for me; and, of course, you by proxy. Among his many considerable "firsts", Barack Obama has been called the first "nerd president". John Hodgman challenges this statement, in what is surely to be the geekiest thing you'll ever see on CSPAN... other than pretty much anything else on CSPAN. Its long, but I promise its worth it.

ITEM! Obama Makes British Prime Minister Watch Star Wars

So about a week ago, the Prime Minister Gordon Brown came to the White House to talk to Obama about, I don't know, the economy, probably? The details of their meeting do not concern us, but what does, is the contents of the world-leadery gifts they exchanged.

Brown gave Obama some a pencil holder made out of a Historically Important Boat, while Obama gave Brown a "specially ordered" AFI 25 Greatest American Movie DVD Set.

Okay, now before we all start hemming and hawing about how incredibly lame it is to give someone a freakin' DVD in this day and age, bare with me. The important thing about this gift is the movies that were included in the set, according to the Daily Mail (verifiable accuracy not included):


Please note #13 on the list...little movie called STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE.

THAT'S why Obama didn't give him the movies on Blu-ray! This whole "25 DVD Set" is just the first step in a plan to make all the world leaders watch Star Wars, which as we all know, is not currently available on Blu-ray.

I think basically Obama must be a closet Star Wars fan (he was fifteen when New Hope came out, nuff said?), and is surreptitiously trying to get all the other world leaders to watch the movies again so he has someone to talk about them with (his kids are probably into like Twilight or something).

How I think Gordon and Obama's next meeting might go, after the jump...



Just one question remains...was it the Special Edition?

Our First Lego President!

Party time!

Panel Discussion: Scans from Amazing Spider-Man, Locke & Key, Final Crisis, and More

Most Hope-Inspiring Panel - Amazing Spider-Man #583

Oh noes, two Obamas! But which one is real? Let's see; one reacts to Spider-Man with angry, closed-door political paranoia. The other reacts with calm, open-minded discourse. There's no mystery here; kick that partisan imposter to the curb, Spidey! WHOO! FOUR MORE YEARS!

Weirdness, sadness, dodginess, and more after the jump...


Least Respectful Death of a Character We've Known for 11 Issues - Young Liars #11
Good old whatsherface here has been a solid supporting character for the entire run of this series, and she gets her final dismissal in a small panel on a crowded page with no great final moment and not even a mention of her for the rest of the book. Lapham, how can we care about your characters when you don't?

Most Respectful Death of a Character We've Known For 11 Pages - Locke & Key: Head Games #1
This, on the other hand, is how you do it! This guy was introduced this issue, and by the end we know him and love him, and when it comes time for the series villain to kill him, he gets his heroic moment before he sinks into the abyss and reunites with his smokin' dead wife. It makes me wanna cry just looking at it again. Goddamn this book is good.


No Comment Award - Final Crisis #6
Er, that's Mary Marvel on top, for those of you not following the series. So...yeah.

Best Splash Page - Locke & Key: Head Games #1
Shakespeare never looked so good! Bonus points for anyone that can identify the play without cheating!

The Old Alter-Ego Blues Award - Amazing Spider-Man #583
This is a classic of superhero ironies; Spidey is out saving the world, misses a civilian appointment, irony ensues. For more examples, read our comprehensive article on the subject.

Best Scam - Invicible #58
Oh, those wiley shapeshifters. Poor bastard's not even gonna get a design credit.

Most Heartbreaking Screw Up - Captain Britain and MI-13 #9
The second time I may cry during this single Panel Discussion... Captain Britain and crew are fighting an entity that tempts you with your heart's desires, so when Brit is tangled up with him and sees his long lost wife Meggan, he of course assumes it's some sort of trick. But apparently the realm they're fighting in intersects with many others--including this terrifying Hell dimension that Meggan is trapped in and only briefly escaped. Oh God, it's like Baz Luhrmann's Romeo & Juliet all over again. Hold me.

Banana Randomizer Award for Achivement in WTF - Cleaners #2

Wow, just....wow. There is context for this, but I had to go back and read through the comic a few times to really understand it. So just enjoy this goretastic Tales From The Crypt-esque panel on it's own merits, such as they are.

DC I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Dan DiDio, you've been made a fool.

SPOILER ALERT for Final Crisis #6 after the jump...


DC Comics, you blew it! You took your best shot at a mainstream press event since Jason fucking Todd, and you blew it!

Remember this?


Sure you do, cause it was big news! The Death of Captain America! A sad commentary on the Post-9/11 world! Collectors item!

Well, this Wednesday, DC went ahead and killed Batman. That's right, they offed Bruce Wayne, good old crazybrain, everyone's favorite agreived sociopathic hero.

This should, by all rights, be big news. Batman is a huge character. Roughly 17 times as popular as Captain America. And now he's dead. People should be weeping. Remember when Superman died? People were horrified. And at this point, what with the Dark Knight, Batman is a BIGGER, more recognizable character than Superman. He is, perhaps, the MOST FAMOUS comic book character in the world.

How did DC manage to kill the most famous superhero in the world without anyone noticing?

Let me count the ways:

1) OBAMA!

Marvel completely pwned DC this Wednesday, and they didn't even have to try. They simply put out a comic in which Spider-Man meets Obama. It's practically a goof, based on the fact that Obama has said on several occasions he collected Spider-Man comics when he was a kid.

And what happened? Lines out the door! 1st and 2nd printing sold out in hours! ebay auctions for hundreds of dollars! I want to give Joe Quesada a gold medal to wear that says "I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE WANT". America is at a major turning point, and people want to see their cool new future prez fist-bump with Spidey! It's called monitoring the national mood, DC, look into it.

2) Batman CAN'T BE DEAD!

Batman isn't dead - we all know Nolan's third movie is coming out in a few years! Plus I could have sworn I just saw him on Brave and the Bold a few days ago. If you told someone on the street that Batman died on Wednesday, they'd react like you told them Santa Claus died on Wednesday. Batman is too big a character to die - what he does in DC is just a blip on the radar of the American public.

Killing Batman in the comics is admitting that no one at DC could figure out how to make people pick up a Batman comic, DESPITE the fact The Dark Knight was seen by every person in American three times.  People who saw the Dark Knight don't want to read about Jason Todd and Tim Drake ("Who??") battling for the cowl.  They want to read about Christian Bale's facinating new "dark" take on Batman!  Talk about EPIC FAIL.

3) DEATH FATIGUE

DC has killed roughly every single one of their characters in the last few years, including:

The Flash
Martain Manhunter
The Elastic Man
The Wonder Twins
The Ventriloquist
All The New Gods

That's like half of the Justice League right there.

4) RESURRECTION FATIGUE

DC has brought back roughly every single one of their dead characters in the last few years, including:

Jason Todd
Stephanie Brown
Barry Allen
Hal Jordan

The result of all this? NO ONE CARES.

5) Batman's death didn't even happen in his own book.

One might hope that the death of Batman would be the result of a long series of events that reflect the life and themes of the caped crusader. That there might be some sort of, I don't know, EMOTION associated with this character's death.

Nope! Batman dies shooting an evil god alien with a space-gun, thus burning his body to a cinder and sending his alternate self to another multiverse, where he will live out his days in suffering. OMGWTFLOL. So is he even dead? How can we have an emotional reaction to something so convoluted? I would hate to write his eulogy.

I would like to close this rant by saying, I love Grant Morrisson. I don't blame any of this on him. I blame the editors at the top who thought it would be a good idea to have Bruce Wayne die at the end of a immensely complicated "Crisis Event" that was clearly a financial and critical failure from the first few months of it's release. Could they not have just bailed out, and thrown a new ending on? Saved the Batman death for later, when maybe it could evoke some sort of emotion in it's readers other than, "That's it?"

The Death of Batman could have been a heartbreaking story. Batman is a deeply sad character who in many ways, I think, has always longed for death. For retirement. For escape. I'm sure his fans can imagine millions of ways that the Dark Knight could have gone out that would have made them cry their eyes out. But that opportunity is gone now, and can never be regained. Even after Bats gets resurrected, there's no death like the first death. They blew it.

Oh well, there's always fanfic.


PS, the title of this post is taken from a lovely LCD Soundsystem Song. Here is a video of Kermit singing it:

Change We Can Believe In: New Attorney General Kind of Looks Like Lando

Honestly, it's a stretch. But even the faintest resemblance of Clinton Era Deputy AG (and future Obama Era AG) Eric Holder to Lando Calrissian is enough to send the Wonkette comment boards into a reference frenzy. Some highlights:

superfecta says at 4:31 pm, November 18th, 2008

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Is it too geeky to suggest that someone must have told Obama about his little maneuver at the Battle of Tanaab?

Godot says at 4:34 pm, November 18th, 2008

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superfecta: Bill Clinton just said he was a fair lawyer, he didn’t think they were looking for someone to lead this crazy thing.

Serolf Divad says at 4:37 pm, November 18th, 2008

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Don’t worry, he’s just made a deal that will keep the empire off our backs forever.

O'Rourke says at 4:42 pm, November 18th, 2008

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He’s got a lotta nerve coming back here after what he pulled.

null says at 4:44 pm, November 18th, 2008

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It’s a trap!

MarieDeGournay says at 5:08 pm, November 18th, 2008

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I can see it now! Eric Holder flying the Millenium Falcon out of the exploding Congressional Dome yelling, “YEEEEEEHAAAAA!” FTW

Team Arctic says at 5:52 pm, November 18th, 2008

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I’m afraid his subpoena powers will be quite operational when the Republicans arrive.

Oh fun. I love politics. But on a serious note, more Clinton Era cronies in the Obama cabinet?

This deal's getting worse all the time!

: D

Now Is The Time To Vote

Today is the one day of the year we at Geekanerd put away thoughts of Star Wars and Batman and instead concern ourselves with getting out to the polls and voting for the candidates we believe in. We hope you'll do the same.

Just in case you forgot your polling place, you can find it online at Vote411.org.

If you were wondering which presidential candidate would get the coveted Geekanerd endorsement, I'll have to disappoint you. As far as our punditry goes, our audience comes to us for talk about video games and funny books, it'd be a bit disingenuous to suddenly act like we're an authority on politics (those some of us are pretty damn wonkish).

But just so you don't go off to the polls feeling shorted, check out some of our favorite political portraits by famous comic artists and illustrators, after the jump...

Lovely portrait by Alex Ross.

Hilarious, But can anyone tell me who this artist is?

Illustrator Zina Saunder's take on Joe The Plumber

A t-shirt design from Eugenio Perez Jr.

Legendary caricature artist Drew Friedman's take on the candidates

Good Ol' Hellboy...this piece is for sale on ebay!

The times, they are a changin.

Barack Obama Hates Video Gamers

If you haven't made up your mind who to vote for in next week's presidential election, you should know that if you play or have ever played a video game Senator Obama wants to redistribute your Wii Points, Xbox 360 achievements and hours of entertainment to people that have never gotten off their lazy butts to play a video game, like, EVER. We as Americans can't stand for this. See the offending moment in context after the jump.

"The Empire Strikes Barack" Is Over, Is It Time For "Return of the Good Guy"?

In case you haven't been paying attention, the Dems have settled their little scuffle and Barack Obama has pretty much cinched the party nomination for the next presidential election. This is good news for us because I think our chances of talking him into a G'nerd exclusive Rock Band showdown are somewhat higher than they were with Hillary.

Geek Out the Vote:Which Presidential Candidate Has the Most Geek Cred?

As you may have heard, there's a Presidential race underway in the US of America. It can be tough at times to wade through the rhetoric and figure out what these smooth talking politicians actually think about the issues that matter to you. And so with your best interests in mind, here is a rundown of how the current Presidential forerunners (with character comparisons for instant Geek identification) feel about you and your Geekanerdy hobbies.

Hillary Clinton
Geekanerd equivalent: Sue Storm, The Invisible WomanA long time living in the shadow of her Fantastic husband has given her unique insight into the inner workings of "the system."

Hit the jump for the full rundown of candidates...

Hillary the Geekanerd:
Hillary once had a fund-raiser thrown for her by Stan Lee Media founder Peter Paul. She later disavowed knowing the guy when he turned out to be a criminal, but not before she promised Stan The Man himself that he could be Secretary of Defense because superheroes would be more effective than a missile defense system:

Via Comic Book Resources.

She has also received a large donation of $4,600 from Electronic Arts executive Steve Schnurr, who also organized (along with ESA, ESRB, and E3 founder Doug Lowenstein) a $1000/plate fundraising breakfast for Clinton in 2005. (Source)

Lastly, take a look at this picture. If that ain't a Buffy fan I don't know what is:
Hillary the Anti-Geekanerd:
Clinton has long been an outspoken critic of violence in video games. She teamed with Joe Lieberman (the demi-arch-nemesis [behind Jack Thompson] of videogamers worldwide) to introduce the Family Entertainment Protection Act in 2005. The act would have imposed fines of $1000 for the first offense of selling games rated Mature to a minor, and $5000 for subsequent offenses. The bill also required an investigation into whether the ESRB was rating games accurately (a concern after the Grand Theft Auto "Hot Coffee" scandal.)

When the bill failed to become law, she and Lieberman tried again in 2006 with a bill meant to pressure the CDC into studying the "impact of electronic media use" on the minds of children. (Source)

Now I'm all for keeping Mature games out of the hands of young kids, so I don't want to really fault her for that. But if an anonymous source that contacted Kotaku's Editor-in-Chief Brian Crecente is to be believed, Clinton has toyed with the idea of introducing a Video Games Tax, much like the tax on cigarettes. THAT, I can not excuse. (Source)

Barack Obama
Geekanerd equivalent: Luke Skywalker
A younger man somewhat lacking in experience but with big dreams and a mysterious ability to bend people's minds. Those in power are impressed by his quick development but remind him he is not a Jedi yet.

Obama the Geekanerd:
Obama has received a total of $10,432 in donations from workers in the video game industry. No big wigs, but a lot of little guys sure add up. (Source)

He is also an outspoken supporter of net neutrality, which is a very important issue for us lowly internet dwellers. (Source)

He likens himself to Superman:

Obama the Anti-Geekanerd:
Obama has made quite a few references to video games being a signifier of laziness: "It’s time for you to turn off the TV and stop playing GameBoy. We’ve got work to do." (Source) Work to do, schmork to do, stop playing the damn GameBoy so that you can start playing the vastly superior Nintendo DS. Obama is also quoted as saying "We’re going to have to parent better, and turn off the television set, and put the video games away, and instill a sense of excellence in our children, and that’s going to take some time." (Source)

Lest you think this anti-gaming talk is just rhetoric meant to aim the political efficacy of the housewife demo in his direction, Obama actually puts his money where his mouth is. When he received a $500 donation from ESA, ESRB, and E3 founder Doug Lowenstein, Obama sent the check back. (Source) You know a politician feels strongly about something when they refuse cash money.

John McCain
Geekanerd equivalent: Steve Rogers, Captain America
An aging, conservative war hero.

McCain the Geekanerd:
McCain has received a $4,600 donation from Brian Kelly, Co-Chairman of Activision (Source), and is also supported by Red Sox player Curt Schilling, who own a stake in start-up MMO publisher 38 Studios. (Source)

He has the support of a killer cyborg from the future:
And he, as well, likens himself to Superman:
McCain the Anti-Geekanerd:
There really isn't any record of McCain speaking out against the Geekanerdy crap we love, but he is very good friends with Joe Lieberman, who would certainly use a personal relationship with the President to push his anti-game agenda. (Source)

The Verdict:
So what are we to do? None of the candidates seem all that pro-Geekanerd. I had some good stuff about Huckabee playing Guitar Hero but now that he's out of the picture (and I hope I'm not offending any readers by letting out a loud sigh of relief) we're stuck with a bunch of geek haters. Are Geekanerds the final minority? In a political landscape where both our first black President and our first woman President seem within potential reach, when will we see our first Geek President?