Snap Judgments: Quickie Comic Reviews for 4/16/08

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. There are probably some spoilers herein. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

The Damned: Prodigal Sons #1: A
The ignorant S.O.B that I am, I didn't realize this issue was a continuation of previous material when I picked it up. That being said, I had no trouble hopping on and getting into the demonic noir world of The Damned. Honest to goodness solid cartooning spiked with a story I actually haven't read before makes this my fave of the week. -Albo

X-Men: Divided We Stand #1: A
I heart emo superheroes! Abadonment is the theme du jour, or more specifically the sense of betrayal and loss that the x-kids feel after coming back from Iraq, er, I mean whatever went on in Messiah Complex. I didn't read that, but like many a great superhero comic, these stories work out of context as tales of the (meta)human experience writ large. -AHR

Cthulhu Tales #1, Pigeons From Hell #1, Powers Annual 2008 and Captain America #37 all after the jump!

Cthulhu Tales #1: A
As you'll see, this was a week of experimentation for me. I know jack diddly about the Cthulhu mythos, so why I picked up this anthology book from Boom! Studios is a mystery. Actually, it's pretty simple: I like Steve Niles' work on Simon Dark and his name was on the cover. But enough about me. Every one of these stories was a great little nugget of horror goodness, especially Niles'. Their only fault is that at the end of each I wanted more more more. Except maybe the last one that was about a bunch of fat sports fans. -Albo

Pigeons From Hell #1: B
If you can believe it, this book also has a backstory that I was unaware of before I picked it up. Apparently the story was originally told by Conan creator Robert E. Howard, and this is just a "modernization" of his tale. The story is pretty contrived and the dialogue is way hokey, but the energetic art by Nathan Fox and superstar colorist Dave Stewart is enough to make me not regret the purchase. -Albo

Powers Annual 2008: C
You know, there may be something great about this ish (primarily written by artist Mike Oeming) but I'm really not sure what it is. It's a story about cavemen fighting. Maybe it's an allegory? Maybe it's just boring. -Albo

Captain America #37: D
If you have friends who think all comics are about smarmy, laconic, self-righteous manly men in tights, DO NOT give them this book. Cause there's a lot of that crap, and it's boring. All posturing and intense stares, zero drama. -AHR

Panel Discussion: Comic Scans From FX #1, Captain American #36, Batman and the Outsiders #5 and More

Every week Geekanerd brings you the best, worst and weirdest panels from our week in comics. If you didn't read your books, there will be giant SPOILERS. Click the images for high res action!

The Banana Randomizer Award for Achievement in WTF - FX #1
So our young hero is crying at the beginning of this page, that's fine... Then he grows some sort of fake cybernetic arm, also fine... But what explains his brain damaged yammering? I haven't seen dialogue like that since Arseface, and that poor bastard had a pretty good excuse. It occurs to me now that he might actually be imitating the Six-Million Dollar Man's signature sound effect, with a ridiculous build up, but thats... Dumb.

Heroes rise from the dead, face-smashing and and what not to do with a propeller blade, after the jump...

Back On The Scene - Batman and The Outsiders #5, Robin #173, Captain American #36

ZOMBIES! Lots of dead heroes returned to the world of the living this week. Stephanie Brown came back after months of lead-up...

Sue and Ralph Dibny are back for the first time since we saw them as ghosts at the end of 52, though it turns out they're not so much "ghost detectives" as they are Quantum Leapers who jump into other people's bodies...does that mean Ralph isn't stretchy anymore?


Also this guy. Yawn.


Beatdown of the Week - Cassandra Cain, Batman and the Outsiders #5
Get with it, InvisoLady! You can't get the jump on the Bat Fam! Especially Cassandra, she will KILL you! It's all well and good to quip about strawberries, Cass, but I don't think she's getting up.

Gristliest Death - War is Hell: The First Flight of the Phantom Eagle #1
And THAT'S... Why you don't run at a prop plane.

Panel Discussion: Scans From Captain America #34, Batman #673, Black Adam #6 And More

Every week we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Click the pics for high res goodness, and beware some major SPOILERS.

Scariest Silver Age Refugee - Bat-Mite, Batman #673
We all know Grant Morrison loves to take the goofiest possible characters from the Silver Age of DC and imbue them with all sort of dramatic significance. He turned Egg Fu into a monster of the atomic age, and the Club of Heroes into a portrait of unanswered ambition, and here we have his reimagined Bat-Mite, who appears in Bruce's hallucination as a sort of herald of things to come. I actually found his appearance to be a little restrained, i.e. not as horrifying as Grant could have made him. That is until I looked closely at these panels and saw frigging SPAWN peaking over his shoulder - thanks for the nightmares, Tony Daniel.

A boatload of scans from all the Avengers books, Black Adam, Y: The Last Man, Captain America and more after the jump...

SkrullWatch '08 - Avengers: The Initiative #9 and Mighty Avengers #8Take special note of this spooky suit's comment: "The Tactigon is the deadliest weapon in the universe. It's not doing us any good sitting here." Huwha? Aren't we supposed to say "The Tactigon is the deadliest weapon in the universe. Let's keep it safe here or destroy it or something, but whatever we do we can't give it to an unstable clone of a super-soldier." For those keeping score, that's exactly what he does. And when said unstable clone of a super-soldier begins KILLING ALL THE SUPERHEROES in the building?
Translation: "Meh. Let's give him the space he needs to kill all sixty of these guys, and then we'll start worrying about other possible sources of resistance to our Skrull invasion." You heard it here first, folks...

GYRICH IS A SKRULL!

Meanwhile, the big Avengers are fighting off a symbiote infestation that is turning New York's population into a swarm of rampaging Venoms and Carnages and whatevers. A lot of our heroes are affected, but some aren't. A couple have good excuses: Iron Man's suit protects him and Wonder Man is ionic, not biological. But a couple of others have no evident excuse for not changing into Skrulls.
Sentry? Ms. Marvel? Luke Cage? I can almost give Sentry a pass because he's a Golden God or something like that, but I don't think Marvel editorial will be able to resist the heart sinking moment of having humanity's best hope against the Skrullian hordes turn green and smile a big ole wrinkly smile. And Luke Cage? He really should have been affected, he's like a half step away from being a normal human.

SENTRY, MS. MARVEL AND LUKE CAGE ARE SKRULLS!

Brand New Complication - Mighty Avengers #8
So part of this whole "Brand New Day" business is that no one knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Not one person. Everyone remembers that Spider-Man revealed his identity during that whole Civil War fracas, but no one remembers whose face was behind the mask. What they apparently do remember, as shown in this panel, is the secret identity of the Scarlet Spider: Ben Reilly, the identical Peter Parker clone who dressed up like Spider-Man and had all the same powers. I think Tony Stark would have a good lead on the identity of one of the unregistered fugitive heroes if he'd just think about it for a second. And wouldn't he want to investigate after realizing that there must be some funny business going on to make him (and all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s records) forget what Spidey revealed on national television?
UPDATE: It's been pointed out on the Newsarama forums that this book (and most current non-Spidey Marvel books) takes place BEFORE "Brand New Day," because Spidey is still in his black costume... But then why doesn't that screen say "Peter Parker/Spider-Man?"

Most Satisfying Payoff - Black Adam: The Dark Age #6
The big question in the Black Adam series is how bro got his powers back, after having his magic word changed in secret by Captain Marvel. Well, within mere hours of traveling to Billy Batson's hometown and saying everything he sees out loud, Adam hits on this Rockwellesque diner and figures it out. While I don't completely buy that even a dim-bulb like Capitan Marvel would change Adam's word(s) to what amounts to an inside joke (P.S, if it could be more than one word, how about a 500-word string of gibberish, Cap?), his panel is hilarious. There's the silhouetted soda-jerk frozen in shock, with only the all-important egg cream in color. Adam's extremely understated look of satisfaction, and barely a hint of surprise. And that kid....love the detail of his blown-in-half straw, but here's what's killing me; that kid looks like someone. At first I thought it was the boy from the Incredibles...
And while the expressions are similar, I can't help but think I'm missing the most obvious visual reference. I thought maybe a Norman Rockwell print, but no. Anyone?

The Power of Fandom - Batman #673
As I mentioned last week, Batbooks have been throwing out references to a Batcave memorial (or the lack thereof) to former-Robin Stephanie Brown for months, and in #674 we finally saw what so many fans have demanded and petitioned for. Sort of. This is a fantasy sequence, but as Project Girl Wonder curator Mary Borsellino points out, this panel at least shows Batman mentally equating Stephanie with his other Robins, and shows that she has an equal place in that lineage. Funny when you consider that while it took solicited fan opinions to kill one Robin, it took unsolicited fan opinions to give another Robin a life after death.

Cute Overload - Black Adam: The Dark Age #6
That is one cute seal. Or is a manatee? The face kinda looks like an otter. Let's just say it's an adorable sea creature, and for your information Black Adam does not punch through it's brain, he instead enlists his little guy to help him escape his persuers. I assume a Sea Buddies: Black Adam and Otterseal one-shot is already in the works.

Massacre of the Week - New Avengers Annual #2
Ooh, Steven Strange never shoulda taken Zom outta that bottle to battle the Hulk. When The Hood's hoods attack and things are looking bad, the Master of the Mystic arts snaps and lays out everyone in the room, heroes included. Looks like somebody doesn't have the power to court what he has called upon.

Biggest Deal - Captain America #34
Man, that Death of Captain America story really had legs. Unlike those guys! Get it, cause Bucky permanently crippled them! Oh, Marvel! Who's legacy won't you piss on?

Sympathy for a Skrull - Avengers: Initiative #9
This Skrull in disguise is sitting there being like "Oooh, if only they knew the power I held in this ring, things'd be different. They'd fear me, respect me! Soon, I'll show them my ring of power, and th....AAAACK!
Shit gets torn off.

Corniest Pun - What If? Spider-Man Vs. Wolverine
Alternate category: Best Panel Ever.

Most Needlessly Disturbing Image - Captain America #34
Jeez, I know things are rough in the Marvel Universe these days, but do we really need to see non-violent protesters at the gates of the White House get shot to bloody pieces by S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents? Okay, mind control, blah, blah, still, this is over the top, there's not even a point being made. The story just called for something to happen that would cause a PR crisis for Tony Stark, I see no reason to bring up the loaded associations that come with images of government agents firing guns into crowds of protesters. I see we're tastefully spared the sight of bullet-riddled female corpses, I guess that would be going too far.

Best Spin On A Classic - Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse #1
The superhero suit-up sequence has been parodied to death, and was probably killed for good by that butt-shot in Batman Forever. BUT, I've never seen the sheer childlike sense of empowerment these boys-and-their-toys montages evoke demonstrated as well as it is in that first panel.

Saddest Moment Ever - Y: The Last Man #60
SPOILER REMINDER
You can have your 355 death. That had nothing on this heartbreaking end of the road for two best friends. The last men.

More of Geekanerd's Panel Discussions...

Under the Influence: A Tribute to Stan Lee

Stan Lee and the Excelsiors (Detail)
Jeff McMillan

Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles has opened a show called Under the Influence: A Tribute to Stan Lee. They've got a bunch of the art up at their blog, and you should go check it out. It's a lot of really creative, unconventional superhero stuff. Like fan-art, but done by some people with real skill. I've got some personal favorites after the jump, and if you want to get on my good side I recommend purchasing any of these paintings for me. No prints, originals only, and make sure they're already framed. E-mail me for my address. Thanks a bunch.

Click to enlarge!

Free Doom
Tommii Lim

Hulk Loves Betty
Brandon Steen

moved
Leanne Biank

The Gamma Rays Made Me Do It
Dave Crosland

Attack of the Octo-Venom
Blinky

Via Blog@Newsarama.

Panel Discussion: The Best, Worst, and Weirdest Comic Panels of the Week

SPOILER ALERT: Some panels contain plot points...those who haven't read their books this week should beware.

BEST ACTOR AWARD: Inertia, All Flash #1

Racked terror as Wally West brings the hammer down for the death of Bart Allen, Inertia displays a fantastic range of fear-crazed expressions.

That tornado is a'comin for YOU, clone boy...you'd better sweat-drop!

It's hard to turn a characters mouth completely down and not have it look silly; it really works here...

Knowing he's dead meat, Inertia decides to go out with a villainous classic; the Kamikaze Crazy Grin!
But he can't hold it; upon learning of his fate, he hits the audience with this perfect facial rendering of abject terror. Sweet.

More of this weeks most notable panels after the jump.

MOST UNDIGNIFIED DEATH: Captain America # 28

All of these guards are doomed, but at least some go out on a relatively high note by being kicked in the face by a sexy redhead. The poor shmoe in this panel is killed by getting his head squeezed up against the junk of a gross dude dressed like a lizard.

FAMILIAR FACES ALERT: Avengers: The Initiative #4

I'm not so sure about some of these new 50-State Initiative teams...this line-up features Michelangelo, an Akira Clown, Gollum, and...I don't know what that thing is, but it really calls into question the existence of God.

NO COMMENT AWARD: The Order #1


...

Okay, fine, here's the context: This girl is simply reacting with embarrassment upon realizing she may have accidentally offended a guy in a wheelchair. But as they say on Scans Daily, context is for the weak.

MOST SEVERE BEATDOWN AWARD: World War Hulk #2

Mr. Fantastic get whomped so hard by the Hulk in this issue that his elastic body explodes like a bungee cord grenade.

BEST USE OF COLOR: The Programme #1The book uses some fun color tricks throughout the book, but this is one of the clearest examples. The therapist is thrown of balance by the confession of his patient that he was "only" able to make love three times in one night recently. The whole scene is in blues with the exception of the therapist's wife's smiling face and the pencil in his hand which he will snap a few panels later.

Link: More of Geekanerd's Panel Discussions

Marvel Honchos Reveal Original Civil War Concept

Tom Brevoort has released some correspondence between himself, Mark Millar and Joe Quesada from early on in the development of Marvel's recent Civil War mega-event. There are some significant ways in which it differs from the version that eventually found its way into our hands. For one, it was planned as a 12-issue series, not 7. One of the big reasons seems to be that it would have included World War Hulk.... kindof. From the article:

"I’d really like to see the Hulk attack Earth and bring with him small, five foot versions of the Hulk called Hulk Babies who are just as powerful and dangerous, but the spawn of the Hulk after he’s bedded a hundred thousand alien chicks. They should all look the same and do enormous amounts of damage when they show up with Dad."

A hundred thousand alien chicks! Millar's either a genius or a very lonely man. More highlights after the jump, including Super Stealth Versions of our favorite heroes, Dr. Doom's Throne of Depowerment, and Captain America's original fate.

So apparently in Millar's early conception, the Anti-Registration heroes would go underground and don Ninja garb! Well not quite, but:

"The other side, led by Cap, have formed a new team and they’re all wearing new stealth costumes (redesigns of their original costumes that can’t be picked up by satellite or radar) and their objective is equally simple; they want to perform their superhero duties without being captured by the first time. They’re a secret society. An underground movement."

Quesada has some interesting thoughts on Captain America and the Punisher, in reaction to a dustup they get into when the Punisher blows the heads of some supervillains that want to volunteer for the cause:

"When you really look at these two characters standing side by side, they really are our Batman and Superman. Cap’s almost an alien being, Christ figure while Frank is the man without powers who lost his family and what they share is two wars that couldn’t be more different."

Apprehended renegade heroes were originally fated to Dr. Doom's Throne of Depowerment:

"There’s been talk of some machinery recovered from Latveria after the Secret War and the SHIELD techies are building a half-finished device Doctor Doom was working on which turns super-people into ordinary human beings. The plan is to humanize each and every one of these guys banged up in [the Negative Zone]."

"This is being used on Speedball, the hero who kicked this whole thing off, and we see him stripped of his superpowers on live TV and returned to society. It should be an awesome moment and one the heroes watch with a certain amount of fear."

In the original ending, Cap sacrifices his powers to destroy the DoomTech (they never actually refer to it as a Throne, but c'mon, it's Dr. Doom!), and then shares a touching scene with Col. Nick Fury:

"We close the whole thing with Nick Fury talking to the 97lb Steve Rogers in the closing pages. ...[Cap] admits that, despite everything, he’s kind of excited to get his life back again. He’s heading out to discover America and rediscover himself and Nick smiles. Steve hopes he isn’t being selfish and Nick says no way. 'One Hell of a tour of duty you just had, soldier,' he tells Steve and Steve just smiles. They salute and Steve Rogers, skinny as a rake, walks off into the sunset like all the best heroes should."

*sniff* *sniff* Oh yeah, I forgot mention that they were friends again at this point because all the heroes united to deal with World War Hulk. Didn't see that coming. Is this what we can expect to come out of the current WWH? A clean fix to all the Marvel Universe's problems and a return to the status quo because Hulk mad smash puny humans? I sure hope not, heroes at odds reuniting to face a common threat is the oldest comic cliche in the book.

Anyway, if you're interested at all in this stuff the full post is a must-read. There is a lot of good behind the scenes chat, and many vague references to "that alien invasion we talked about".... Can anyone say Skrulls?

Via Newsarama.

The Onion Weighs in On Captain America's Death

The Onion's weekly "Man on the Street" feature deals with Captain America's assassination this week. Three fake laymen drop their two cents on the hero's death.

Monica Chan, Systems Analyst, ponders:
"But who will avenge him? If only there were a group of 'avengers,' if you will, organized for that purpose."

Check out the rest here.