Doom Is Back in B-More! Gallagher Edition!

Dr. Victor von Doom is back in my hometown; terrorizing the unsuspecting citizens of Baltimore with comedic stylings straight from the early 80s. At least we now know that Latveria gets comedy central-cause it looks like Doom spends his daytime hours watching ancient Gallagher specials. I'm assuming he can't spend all that time plotting the destruction of the Fantastic Four; if that were the case you'd think there'd be some results by now. Either way, you haven't laughed at a smashed watermelon in decades! Live a little! Favorite line? "A big bowl of Trix... Because Sue Storm is a Whore!"

Dr. Doom Schools the Fantastic Four Down In B-More

The Scourge of Latveria himself passed through my home town of Baltimore just last week... I'd assume en route to New York from DC on some sort of sinister diplomatic mission. Well, before making his demands to the UN, he tried out his public speaking at a comedy show in Hampden. He's a bit rusty (metal mask pun intended), but who can blame him-delivering nothing but villainous tirades and soliloquies for decades will wreak havoc on one's comedic timing. Also, it's really hard to test your material on Doombots. Either way, when Reed Richards sees this, he's gonna be soooo pissed.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Dark Reighn: Fantastic Four, Superman/Batman, and Manhunter

Burn of the Week - Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #4
Valeria Richards, ladies in gentlemen. Totally unimpressed by Todd McFarland.

Banana Randomizer Award for Achievement in WTF - Superman/Batman #61

Mash-Up Madness! In this issue, pairs of Batman and Superman characters meld together to form various comical combos, such as Jimmy Two-Face and Lex Joker. But this metal "waddle-clicking" mob boss penguin skeleton thing...there's just no justifying that.

Unless...
It's MEPENGTELLAO! The mostly deadly of them all.

Best Actor - Streets of Gotham/Manhunter #1
Gordon continues to be the most likable Regular Joe in comics. This moment is small, but Geroges Jeanty gives Gordon a really cute look of flattered surprise when SuperLawyer gushes over their introduction. The classic Tie-Straighten move in the second panel is a great touch.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Fantastic Four: Dark Reign, Battle for the Cowl and Terror Inc

Warning: After the jump, the last panel of this post contains spoilers for the ending of Battle for the Cowl, ie who the new Batman is.

Worst Splash Panel - Terror Inc: Apocalypse Soon #2
The first series of Lapham's Terror Inc was great fun. But I am now realizing that a big part of what made this book cool and not ridiculous was the grimly realistic art by Patrick Zircher. Splash panels like the one above should have died in the 90s. The arc of the machine gun blast is like looking into another dimension where time and space have no meaning.

Reed Richards finally loses it, Batman is one cold sonofabitch, and Damian Wayne gets his bratty little way, after the jump...

Best Acting - Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #2
Here we see an alternate reality timeline in which Reed Richards, realizing that the formation of the Illuminati would lead to the current mess the Marvel U is in, decides to kill everyone to ensure the group is never formed. It worked! Here is what Reed's expression says to me: "I uh...okay. This - was this right? Yes. No. Yes. Hm. Oh boy. Ohhh boy. Hold it together Richards."

Clearest Example of Batman's Insanity - Battle for the Cowl #3
When making his video will, Batman thinks to himself; "I shall leave each of my adopted sons a special fatherly advise voicemail to cherish after I'm gone." So he records one for Tim and one for Dick, and then thinks to himself "Oh, Jason's alive now too, I guess I should record something for him. What would help him be less awful? I've got it - telling him he's the single biggest failure of my entire life will give him the motivational push he needs to start anew."

Batman, you should not be allowed around children or the mentally ill!

Also: note that at the end Bats says, "...but don't worry, I know this great doctor...." I like to think Bruce recorded this before the Black Casebook saga, and is in fact about to recommend his trusted physician Dr. Simon Hurt.

Banana Radomizer Award for Achievement in WTF - Battle for the Cowl #3
So the new Batman is Dick Grayson, and the new Robin is....DAMIAN WAYNE? Whaa? Um, Dick, I know you've been busy with your own career, but Damian is like, really, really evil. In fact you are actually the only member of the inner-circle Batfamily that he hasn't ALMOST SUCCEEDED in killing.

Look, he tries to kill Alfred earlier in this issue!

Um, Alfred, he'll do it.

First of all, why does Dick even NEED a Robin? He is a Robin. As Nightwing, he was both Batman...AND ROBIN. Teaming up with a homicidal tween seems like a step backwards in Dick's crime fighting career, and it's probably not good for his self-esteem either.

I also wonder what Tim is going to do with his nights, since he gave up being Robin to be Batman, and can now be neither. Oops! Guess you shouldn't have quit your Teen Titans dayjob, nerd!

Happy Mom's Day!

Your Geekanerd editors recently had a pretty contentious argument regarding Sue Storm and how she fits into Marvel's not-so-great track record of major female superheroes. I claimed she an example of how women on superteams are given the title of "the woman" as opposed to a personality, while Degan countered that she was the ultimate representation of parenthood in the Marvel U.

Low and behold, while looking for a Sue-As-Supermom graphic to use in this post, I came across an excellent article that explores both of our positions.

Via Fantastic Fangirls...

"Sue Storm is the perfect woman. Or at least, when she was created in 1961, when comic books were written for and by boys, she was the perfect woman. She looks like a Barbie doll: blond, blue-eyed, a figure to die for. She acts like a 1950’s Vassar girl: bright but the submissive caretaker, introduced to be sister, wife/lover/mother (Sue was introduced as Reed’s fiancé and fiancé promises marriage and motherhood, at least in 1961), and friend at once."

BUT...

"As many mistakes as she has made over the years it is clear she loves her children. It is clear she wants what is best for her children, even if sometimes she cannot figure what it is (and as a parent, I understand that failing). And it is clear she would fight to her dying death and beyond for her children and for her family. She is a fiercely passionate mother and family woman. And it is important to note she is also a career woman, but her career is (literally) married to her family life. While it is not something most working mothers can emulate, it is something most working mothers can identify with and that is all but unique in the medium."

It's a great article that reconciles both sides of this debate, and well worth a read.

Panel Discussion: Comedy Edition! Scans From Dark Reign: Fantastic Four, Hack/Slash, Irredeemable and More!

One-Liner of the Week - Dark Reign: Fantastic 4 #2
Here we find the Fantastic Four in an alternate reality where Sue Storm holds court as a tyrannical monarch. The second panel of a monacled and dandified Thing contains the best one-liner of the week. It is perfect in it's corniness. If I had a Livejournal account, I would have just found a new icon.

Classic Gag - Deadpool: Games of Death #1
Okay this is more of an Samurai Movie Trope, but since it's in a Deadpool book it instantly BECOMES a comedy classic. I know I've seen this sort of move a million times in movies, but I couldn't think of one example. If you have one, please let me know in the comments. PS: Googling "cut in half samurai sword" returns some really unfortunate news articles.



Best Acting - Hack/Slash #21
This is another comedy classic! It's the old," dumb wimpy character freaks out and unadvisedly hits the superbadass character" bit. And everyone is like, "OH. SHIT." I particularly like Cassie's expression in the upper right hand corner. Shocked indignation, with just a tinge of homicidal rage. Love it.

Worst Superhero Names - Irredeemable #1
I sympathize with how hard it must be for writers to keep coming up with new superhero names everytime they want to invent an alternate reality to play around in. But to Scylla and Charybdis, I say if you are going to name yourself after some mythological monsters, try not to pick two that sound like STDs. And Gilgamos doesn't sound any better than Gilgamesh - let's drop the facade. Volt is fine, but I don't think citing this as parody excuses inventing yet another electricity powered black superhero.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Daredevil, Secret Six, Locke and Key, And More!

The Magic of Comics - Daredevil

Its been a long time since I've stumbled across an image this striking in a comic. The simplicity and economy of design on this page tells more of a story than the words... and that's comic book art at its best. This is a beautiful and simple way to sum up Kingpin's life as a supervillain in New York. My particular favorite is the subtle Bullseye within Daredevil... and notice he's holding Elektra's sai. They really jammed alot of history in a single, beautiful image.

Movie Moment - Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #1
Oh. Man. It's a fargate!

PS: I feel kind of bad that the only panel that I pulled from this fun and awesome issue by one of my favorite indie writers (Jonathan Hickman!) is just an excuse to make a stupid Aqua Teen Hunger Force joke. But honestly; why are people still making interdimentional portals look like Stargate? Have we reached the limits of our collective imagination when it comes to giant sci-fi gates?


The Magic of Comics Part Deux - Locke and Key: Headgames #3

This book never ceases to amaze. Here's an awesome (and rather hot) use of the repeated panel-a comic classic! In this case, bringing us from the realm of daydreamed fantasy to embarrassing reality. Notice her smile turns into a frown in the second panel. Classic!

Banana Randomizer Award for Achievement in WTF - Secret Six #7

Its easy to forget in a cloud of d-list super villains that Bane is as A-list as they come... he literally broke the Batman... very few villains in the DCU have street cred like that. Its nice to be reminded of that sometimes. But that's not what's crazy about this page-its Bane's venom fueled vision of the world that's nutty-go-crazy. Apparently when he's all juiced up, he sees the world as a series of twisted Batmen. Somebody's got some serious bat issues. Heh, be sure to look closely and check out the Ragdoll batman!


Most Hardcore Move - Terror Titans #6

So Clock King doesn't want to get to close to Ravager, cause his pre-cog skills don't work in close combat. So he throws these little saw-blade ball thingies at her, which for some reason she doesn't have time to dodge. So she just reaches out and CRUSHES them with her hands! KRAK! SMASH! That's some Wolverine shit right there, minus the sissy healing factor.

Clearest Example of Batman's Insanity - Gotham Gazette #1

If you can't see a lady in person, but still want to make an impression, what's a gentleman to do? Nothing says "refined elegance" like rigging suspending a champagne bottle from the ceiling and rigging the cork with a miniature explosive device so the cork explodes off when she gets home! JESUS CHRIST, BRUCE! Even from beyond the grave you embarrass us all with your horribly cold and twisted ideas of intimacy.

Best Line of the Week - Secret Six #7

It's great when comic characters are able to see beyond the absurdity of their situation and just speak bluntly for a change. Sometimes it takes no name D-list villains to get us there (is the Electorcutioner or something like that? Anyone?) The broken jawed mumblings of the shark dude are funny enough, but its the electric dope's blunt "screw this, I need a hospital" that takes the cake this week. Understandably, you'd be pretty fed up with all the convoluted BS going on in this scene too... he's the voice of the everyman-or at least, every man with shattered ribs and 3rd degree burns... I don't know what goes down in a super villain fight but I'm sure it hurts like a mofo.

Beatdown of the Week - Daredevil


David Aja has quickly climbed to the top of Geekanerd's fave artist list with his offering this week in Daredevil. As far as visual storytelling goes, this issue is top notch. You could erase every word bubble and narration box and completely understand what's going on. And the icing on this brilliant cake? A giant monster fat man fighting 3 dozen ninja! What more could you ask for in a single comic? Not only is the action dynamic and exciting, but Aja punctuates it with stark black, white, and red panels of weapons and blood-you can practically feel each strike. I love the black and white rising sun effect as the ninja nails Kingpin in the back. And to end it, the massive Kingpin is beautifully brought to his knees with katanas jutting from his back in a series of 5 panels. This is comic book fighting at its finest. Well done Mr. Aja.


Slashiest Exchange - Terror Titans #6
JUST KISS ALREADY! Actually, there's not much in the dialouge to suggest any slashiness, so don't even bother reading it. But let's just say I happen to know, FOR REASONS WHICH ARE TOO NUMEROUS AND CONVOLUTED TO EXPLAIN, that on the internet there exists a bizzare amount of of Rose/M'gann fic, so this exchange just sort of ping'd that on my radar screen. I'm just. Saying.

Panel Discussion: Scans From Robin #174, Amazing Spider-Man #560, The Initiative #13 and More

Every week we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Beware some major SPOILERS.

Click the pics for high res goodness!

Most Surprising Scene - Avengers: The Initiative #13
Despite the fact that no skin is shown and few sex acts take place, this is a boundary pushing sequence.

Here we have Emery, a nerdy, shy teen who happens to be indestructible, and a ex-villain who burns up anything she touches. Alone at an unauthorized Initiative beach party, she realizes that his powers would allow her to have sex with him. So she gets on him and starts, despite the fact that he's not into it. Is this rape? That's a yes. In a medium dominated by male sexual power fantasies, it's extremely surprising to see a scene in which a young man receives genuinely unwelcome sexual attention, and in a way that's not played for laughs or irony. Here the reader is made to feel the discomfort and confusion of this young man, and it's a powerful, sad moment. The last time I remember seeing anything like this in a comic is in Bomb Scare, a great Optic Nerve story. Here's to Christos Gage and Steve Uy for pulling off something truly unconventional in a mainstream book.

Pop Art, Stephanie Brown, Reed Richards: Ladies Man and more, after the jump...

The Reclamation of Pop Art - Amazing Spider-Man #560
The villain in this Spidey storyline is "Paper Doll," a 2D woman unhealthily obsessed with celebrity Bobby Carr. Her and Spidey have a dustup in a Pop Art gallery in this ish, which justifies the awesome cover with Paper Doll actually becoming Pop Art and creeping up on our hero (look at those nails! Creepy!). Later Spidey lands a well-placed punch in front of an explosive WHAAM! piece. Awesome!


The Power of Fans - Robin #174

Wow. Those who hated the way the War Games storyline ended have had just about all their demands met as of the end of last week's Robin. Let the retconning begin!

Exhibit A: Steph never got a memorial because Batman never really thought she was dead. This also explains his insensitive-even-for-him reaction to her death in the first place.

Exhibit B: Dr. Leslie Tompkins, heretofore believed to have actually allowed Steph to die as an outrageously irresponsible warning to teen superheroes across the nation, actually helped the poor girl fake her own death in order to start a new life.

Exhibit C: Editor Dan Didio is killed. Guess that ties up all the loose ends!

Smooth Operator - Reed Richards, Fantastic Four #557

Mr. Fantastic gets a bad rap sometimes for being cold and inattentive, but Mark Millar has a very different view of the smartest man on Earth. In fact, he writes him as a superbrained George Clooney. What a smoothie! Not to mention the fact that the location of their anniversary dinner is back in time for front row seats to when they first met.

Reputation Alert - Avengers: The Initiative #13
As seen in a previous issue of this series, Hank Pym's greatest fear is that he will be forever remembered not for his years of heroism, but for being a vile dirtbag who beat up his wife (BOOO!). He supposedly came to terms with that fear in that same issue, but now it looks like even the younger generation of heroes (who probably grew up on The Ultimates) aren't so forgiving. Sorry dirtbag!

Snap Judgments: Dead, She Said #1, Amazing Spider-Man #560 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. There are probably some spoilers herein. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

Dead, She Said #1 gets an A from Albo
The more of Steve Niles' work I read the more I like the guy. I picked up 30 Days of Night when it was on the stands back in the day and came away feeling it was a little thin. But Simon Dark, among other things, has made me take another look. This horror noir story starts with a private dick waking up and cracking his way out of rigor mortis... That's right, he's "dead," shot through the belly and he's determined to figure out why. Giant ants may be involved. Smart, original, well worth your dollars.

Reviews for Amazing Spider-Man #560, Mighty Avengers #14, and Fantastic Four #557 after the jump!

The Amazing Spider-Man #560 gets a B from Albo
Not much more to say that I didn't say in last week's review of #559. Just a solid Spidey story from Dan Slott with killer art from Marcos Martin. We learn a little more about "Paper Doll" this week, and she's turning out to be a pretty cool villain. Different, at least. Also this ish contains the return of a major Spidey character we haven't seen since this whole Brand New Day stuff started...

The Mighty Avengers #14 gets a B from Albo
Frank Cho being so slow of an artist forced Bendis to approach his Avengers books in an interesting way--he was trying to thread the two books into one ongoing story, but since Mighty was taking so much longer than New he ended up creating a lot of flashback stories as filler for New in order to keep the books on roughly the same timeline. Well now that's become a real style of his, as most of his Secret Invasion tie-in stories skip around in time more than a season of LOST. I say it works, even if it does get a little tough to put all the pieces together in my head. This ish in particular is about how the Skrulls have approached the "problem" of the Sentry, and it's a testament to the new era of comics that their solution isn't just "hit him really hard," because as we (and they) know, that never works for the bad guys. Well, except maybe Doomsday.

Fantastic Four #557 gets a C from Albo
Ahem. To defeat a giant robot that pummeled every Marvel hero in existence and destroyed dozens of military complexes around the globe, Mister Fantastic builds a bigger robot (which he inexplicably dubs "Anti-Galactus"... wtf?) in an AFTERNOON and bases his whole battle strategy on the ASSUMPTION that the robot's creator included him in a list of people that it couldn't harm. When he could have, oh I don't know, CALLED HER JUST TO MAKE SURE. Lazy storytelling from a guy that's probably too busy out promoting the movie adaptation of Wanted to give a damn. On a positive note, there is a really sweet scene at the end (which I woulda given an "A" if it were a standalone story) where Reed takes Sue out on an anniversary date--back in time to the moment they first met. And as a gift he gets her a ring with a "stone" that's actually a micro-galaxy with "over forty trillion couples ... all loving each other like I love you." What kind of softy have I become when I open a comic and prefer the date scene to the giant freaking robot fight?! Am I losing my Geekanerd touch? Or is Millar just better with character moments than action?

Panel Discussion: Scans from Wonder Woman #19, Fantastic Four #556, Young Liars #2 and More

Every week we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Beware some major SPOILERS.

Click the pics for high res goodness!

20% Percent Gratuity: Wonder Woman #19
AHR: Here is how I believe this panel came to be....imagine if you will a conversation between artist Bernard Chang and editor Matt Idelson...
"I'm supposed to set this conversation between two men in the shower, but I don't want it to be too homoerotic."
"No problem. Put a sultry naked woman in the foreground."
"....in the men's shower?"
"Military bases can have co-ed showers. Didn't you see Starship Troopers?"

Great art, bad art, an evil Russian girl and a compromising position after the jump!

WTF Happened? - Young Liars #2
Albo: One minute the girl is whispering in the guy's ear and the next she's getting the "protective friend" hand on her shoulder and our hero is getting flipped off. Did he somehow project his fantasy for the world to see? Surely he's not getting the finger because the tickets aren't his? And just what WOULD that girl do to see Spoon? Especially considering that the book is set in 2005 Austin, where Spoon lived and assumedly played pretty frequently.

Best Actor - Evil Russian Girl, BPRD 1942 #4
AHR: I think this character has a name, but I can't be bothered to look it up. All you need to know is she's an evil demon in the form of a Little Russian Girl, and she displays a wide range of both evil and childlike emotions...

Ironically framed innocence! "Who, me?"

A classic "bad cop" interrogation pose.

Sulking

Two more adult expressions. Take charge confidence and affronted annoyance; "who is this bitch and who does he think he's talking to?"

Art Worth Praising - Chris Bachalo, Amazing Spider-Man #556
Albo: What an awesome composition this panel is. The patterns in the floor and in Jameson's gown feel very Sienkiewiczian, the block of light keeps our attention well-focused, the restricted color palette works really well, and the top down perspective is just f-ing cool.
Oooh, what a bleak and stormy night it is! I know this doesn't seem that exceptional out of context, but the whole issue does a really wonderful job of isolating Spidey out in the cold. Bachalo doesn't use black borders around the panels, furthering the feeling of being surrounded on all sides by snow.

Best Comic Timing - Simon Dark #7
AHR: I think many other artists would have been content to simply repeat the first panel to convey an awkward moment of thought process in the second panel. The joke still would have worked, but the blank look away really sells the confusion.

(Mis)Adventures in Computer Coloring - Amazing Spider-Man #556Albo: Please click the image to get a high res glimpse. Now take a look at that image of earth. Get a bucket ready because if you don't vomit at the "I just pulled this lossy jpeg off Google image search" look of that crap then you aren't paying attention. This is the second time we've had to call out this book for crappy use of photos.

Anachronism Alert! - Young Liars #2
Albo: Going to play Guitar Hero, are you? Well I hope you have a time machine, because you're living in April 2005 and Guitar Hero doesn't come out until November 2005!

Product Placement Sucks - Fantastic Four #556
Albo: Marvel is the biggest product placement whore on the planet. I'll accept your intrusive ads if A) You lower the price of the books or B) You remove all other advertisements. Otherwise I can't help but feel like I'm getting ripped off. And for all you guys saying product placement adds realism to a book, please tell me what sort of self-respecting human wears a t-shirt advertising Guitar Hero III: Mobile?

Biggest Letdown - Bryan Hitch's Art, Fantastic Four #556
Albo: It feels like only yesterday I was praising the art in this book. I'm not sure what's happened in the meantime (I hope it's something joyous like Bryan Hitch having a baby and therefore no time for art) but this stuff has gone way downhill. What the F is wrong with Johnny Storm in this panel?! He's been up all night shagging some supervillain, so a little weariness is in order, but c'mon! He looks like a zombie Gary Busey!
Now this one I'm willing to exonerate Hitch for and blame on the colorist... This is supposed to be a pretty impressive splash. And it would be, if I could tell what the hell is going on. There's no focus, it's all terribly jumbled.

From A Certain Point of View - Fantastic Four #556
Albo: Alyssa on ground spread eagle? Check. Sue Storm's head positioned directly between Alyssa's thighs? Check. Alyssa drawing closer to Sue with lips parted and eyes closed?
Check.

WTF?