Sunday, September 02, 2007

Panel Discussion: Commendations and Condemnations From This Week's Comics

Click these suckas for hi-res action, and beware SPOILERS... ye.

Most Inept Security - Whoever Let Dr. Doom in the Door, The Last Fantastic Four Story
"I'll still find a way to crush them someday! But for now I'll just clap politely." CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK.

Panels from Teen Titans, Hack/Slash, and the Batman Annual after the jump...

Best Cameo - Tiny Titans, Teen Titans #50
Hey, that's no TV show! That's Marv Wolfman's new comics-for-kids series, Tiny Titans! I do like the idea that after spending all day fighting crime with his friends, Bart liked to unwind by watching fictionalized cartoon accounts of his own adventures. May he rest in peace for however many months it takes DC to bring him back.

Best Assertion of Female Empowerment - Hack/Slash #4
Those Heroes for Hire girls could learn a thing or two from this panel.

Sleazoid Move Alert - Wonder Girl, Teen Titans #50
CASSIE! I'm surprised at you. Tim's friends and family are dropping like flies, so you wait for him to get all weepy and vulnerable, and then BANG, you're all over him like SPF 15. Perhaps she, like the ancient gods of Greek mythology, finally realized there's nothing stopping her from taking exactly what she wants from these mortal boys.

Triple Frown Achievement in Bizarre Dialogue - Batman Annual #26

I know for a fact Peter Milligan is a good writer, so what's up with these cringeworthy exchanges?
"We don't want you skipping to the end!" Huh? She's calling the White Ghost on his confusing (and stilted plot necessitated) actions and he retorts by seriously saying (while wearing a white robe in a cave guarded by ninjas or someshit) that he doesn't want her reading ahead? I think a certain amount of solemnity should be required when one is torchlit. And then their little "embroidery" exchange? It sounds like a student film.
I could say the same about you, you little scamp. Forgivable because it's just the kind of thing an adolescent could think sounds cool but is actually incredibly stupid. Like when I told my mom "Time is money, and you owe me a lot.""By the look of these droppings the bodies have been here almost two weeks." WHAT?! What droppings?! Are the droppings on the bodies? Are they the droppings of the dead ecologists? There are two dead bodies in a creek, what the shit kinda excretory evidence can he possibly be referencing?

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