DJ Hero? More Like Passable DJ

Last Sunday, I stopped by my local GameStop to check out DJ Hero; the latest entry in the field of Pretend Musician Gaming. With this turntable sim, Activision is hoping to capture the attention of guitar heros and rock bandateers as well as a previously untapped market of music fans who like beats to their sweet guitar solos. They're throwing a lot of weight behind the game; talking up it's pre-sale numbers, hiring Jay-Z and Eminem as spokesmen, and buying up companies with competing DJ games and then firing half the staff. DAMN, guys! This game must be totally amazing!

After spending about fifteen minutes with the game, my gamer-sense detected a potential chink in the armor of this supposed juggernaut.

A semi-informed review after the jump...


After the initial thrill of discovering the new set of reflexes it takes to fade between tracks and scratch the little plastic turntable, I found myself thinking "this would be a lot more fun if this mix was any good." I don't want to pretend to be a DJ who mixes passable mashups of trashy pop hits and oldies; I want to pretend to be a DJ HERO! I played three demo tracks; "Hollaback Girl" vs Rick James' "Give It To Me", "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" vs "Feel Good Inc", and a third track I can't remember because, hey! it wasn't very memorable.

The DJ hero setlist includes tons of awesome artists mixed two at a time into "93 exclusive mixes". So who is actually mixing these mixes? They have a lot of professional DJs contributing tracks (DJ Shadow was the only one I knew or cared about), though I can't quite see pros bringing their A material to a children's video game. Go check out the DJ Hero website, and you'll notice something conspicuously absent; a music player that allows you to preview a few of these 93 exclusive mixes. The closest I could find is this video clip of a guest mix by Daft Punk, and even that is unimpressive.

A big part of what was great about previous Music Sim games is that they have all of music history to pull their setlists from, so the game isn't just about perfecting your twitch reflects, but also about enjoying cool tunes (Breaking the Wheel not withstanding). Knowing and loving a song also makes gameplay more intuitive, and sells the illusion that mashing plastic buttons is actually producing the musical artistry coming through your speakers.

It's definitely fun to pretend to scratch, but just because you can mix two songs doesn't necessarily mean you should. It's fun to listen to a DJ mix songs live because it's cool and technically impressive, even if you wouldn't want to listen to it over and over again. The kind of mixology that I DO like listening to over and over again falls into a more repetitive groove, and wouldn't make great gameplay. DJ hero feels more like a standard rhythm game where you're simply sitting on the couch with a stationary controller, and the gratification is getting your reflexes up to par. It doesn't capture the thrill of feeling like you are producing a work of musical art.

So from my limited demo playing experience, I don't see DJ Hero reinventing the Guitar Hero wheel. The wow factor that you got the first time you played Guitar Hero, or the first time you started pounding away on the Rock Band drums is simply not present. All the type and guest stars Activision can buy ultimately can't account for a music sim without great music. Of course it's possible they just picked three mediocre tracks for the demo, and there's some other really mind blowing stuff deeper in.


Probably not as mind blowing as this, though.

Reviewed: Silber Media Comics

These are the smallest comics I've ever seen. Seriously, look at them. Their palmable size and tiny plastic baggies bring to mind illicit substances, or secret messages that you have to destroy after reading. Each page has only one panel and a line of text, requiring the storytelling to be as compact as the packaging.

These match-book sized comics are written by Brian John Mitchell and put out by his indie distribution company, Silber Media. Issues of each of the four serialized titles can be ordered for a dollar each, though several issues are also available for free on the Silber site.

The books cover a range of genres; XO is a hitman power fantasy, Just a Man is a slow burning western, Lost Kisses is an sardonic, self-effacing confessional about Mitchell's personal life(illustrated almost entirely with grinning stick figures), and Worms is a paranoid headtrip that invovles worms, questionably ethical medical treatments, and other unpleasant things.

The common thread in each book is an understated, almost deadpan style of narration. Take for example the narration that accompanies the opening three pages of XO:

"I just killed someone for free.

I guess you could say I killed some people when I was younger....

...but none since I consider myself an adult."

This irrisistibly macabre hook is made even more distincitve by it's context; an adorably small booklet with illustrations that look more like a daily comic strip than the sort angular grit usuallly found in a crime graphic novel. The story unfolds with similarly passive descriptions of crime and murder, and the series ends up feeling like a slice-of-life diary comic by a sociopath. Whether it reads as creepy or funny is probably a matter of taste, but it's entertaining either way.

While several issues of XO can be read online, the highlight of the Silber Comics stable really needs to be read in print for the full effect. Only a single issue of Just A Man has been released so far, but in that 56 panel issue Mitchell and artist Andrew White tell a wild west story of revenge that evokes dread and suspence on every miniature page.


The dramatic weight of Just A Man is entwined with it's formal elements; having to focus your attention on stamp sized panels creates an bond between the reader and the stark desert world of the story. The limitations of size and length force the reader to consider the meaning behind each image and sentence, and as the plot turns more and more grim, the effect is hauntingly intimate.

Just A Man is a serious tale in a small package, and I highly reccomending spending the dollar it costs to have one delivered to your house. Read it in a public place for maximum effect; people will wonder what the hell you're holding that has you so engaged, and you'll feel like you're getting away with something.

Reviewed: Arcade of Cruelty

I received review copy of this book in the mail a few weeks ago. I've had a hard time reviewing it since then, and here's why: I find it hard to accept that this book is real. I know it exists, but it seems like an elaborate hoax, or possibly a practical joke. Or possibly concept art. Those things are all basically the same thing.

You know those coffee table books that get released upon the death or career turning point of major artist? The ones that collect all their unpublished work for fans to drool and obsess over. That is what Arcade of Cruelty most resembles in style and format, but here's the twist; the book is not about a major artist. It's about Joseph Patrick Larkin, a nonfamous, not particularly successful youngish man who may or may not consider himself a cartoonist.

Arcade of Cruelty is a hateful, self-aggrandizing, self-immolating, intensely exhibitionist celebration of Joseph Patrick Larkin, by Joseph Patrick Larkin, and very possibly for Joseph Patrick Larkin. It collects a wide-cross section of anything Larkin has produced since he was about about eight years old. This includes defaced high school yearbook photos, collages designed for aid in masturbation ("Excerpts From Joseph Patrick Larkin's Beat Off Binders"), visual art so pretentious it may be parody, and an entire chapter of 9-11 jokes.

It would be easy to label this book as a vanity project produced by a crazy person, but for two factors. First of all, some of the material is really funny. While Arcade of Cruelty isn't something I would ever consider reading cover to cover (did I mention it's long?), each section has something that made me smile, chuckle knowlingly, or even LOL. The personage of Joseph Patrick Larkin as represented in this book is a mean-spirited loser, a man who despises women almost as much as he fears them, and whose go-to topics of comedic inspiration include rape, domestic violence, and 9-11. And some of those 9-11 jokes are really funny. Your reception of his humor will probably be best received by A) suicidal misogynists or B) people who enjoy terribly dark humor and who see the whole thing as straight-faced self-parody. I come down more on the B side, but I still feel kind of bad for enjoying so much of it.

The second thing that separates this book from any other sort of self-published wingnut zine is how expensive and fancypants the production is. It's self-published by Larkin's one-man company, Also-Ran, which judging from the website appears to mostly distribute Larkin's personal mixtapes. And yet the book is extremely well designed with a sense of seriousness and professionalism that can be found in absolutely none of the book's content. Each piece in the book is labeled with a Fine Arts Museum style title, caption and date. In the aforementioned Beat Off Binder chapter, every masturbation collage is accompanied by the same caption: "This is deeply troubling." As far as caption-based running gags go, this is pretty good. Also this section includes a really great picture of Fairuza Balk, which may be worth the price of the entire book, which by the way is $7.49 used on Amazon.

What sort of cognative split does one need to undergo to publish the contents of one's attic as if it was going to be sold at the MOMA gift shop? Maybe it will! I am not sure of anything after receiving this book in the mail. End of review.

Ten Moments That Make The Spirit Worth Watching

I saw The Spirit when it came out in theaters, and I enjoyed it in all it's silly, uneven, free-wheeling splendor. I was a little surprised by the degree of vitriol leveled at the film from the online fan community, to say nothing of what most film critics thought of it. I mean, was it just me? Had my critical faculties deserted me on the day I saw Frank Miller's directorial debut?

I took a second look at The Spirit, this time in the comfort of my own living room on Blu-Ray (coming out nationwide tomorrow), and I stand by my initial assessment. I don't care that the film bares more resemblance to Diet Sin City than Eisner's original series. The lack of plot doesn't bother me - there's more to movies than plot. What I see when I watch The Spirit is a collection of distinctive images, unearthly characters (matched by some unearthly performances), and action sequences that rely on a set of physics most commonly found in cartoon and video games.

The end result is not quite a movie at all, but rather a moving collage of what Frank Miller thinks of when he thinks of the Spirit. It might bare little resemblance to what Spirit fans think of the character, but for fans of extreme and indulgent pop art, Miller's vision contains several moments that should not be missed.

And with that, I present: Ten Moments That Makes The Spirit Worth Watching....

Plot spoilers after the jump, but again, why would you watch this movie for the plot?

1. The Giant Wrench (0:13:18)
During a outlandishly cartoonish fight scene early in the film, a gigantic wrench appear out of no where and is used to hit The Spirit in the crotch, and then as a ramp for the Spirit to run up so he can achieve the height needed to kick the villainous Octopus in the face. It was at this point in the film that I suspected the next 90 minutes would have at least some entertainment value for a person who enjoys slapstick and absurdity, such as myself.

2. Wordplay (0:18:00)
The following exchange occurs between the Spirit and one of his many love interests, with complete dramatic sincerity; "The Octopus knows something!" "Why do you say that?" "Because he just told me he knows something!" This got a big laugh from the audience when I watched it, and I have to believe it is an intentionally silly bit or writing in the vein of Strangers with Candy.

3. "No Egg On My Face" (0:23:30)
I have no idea who The Octopus is in the original comics. But in the movie, he is a crazy scientist who talks a lot about eggs. He is also Samuel L. Jackson's best role since Pulp Fiction. At this moment in the film, Octopus says he refuses to have egg on his face. He then shoots an offending henchmen and screams, "NO! EGG! ON! MY! FACE!....not a globbb!".
Then, in a whisper, starring at his reflection in his gun,"...not a glob." If there is one scene you need to see in this movie, it's this one. I mean, look at this. Madness on film.

4. Elevator Silhouettes (0:43:00)
Miller uses a simple visual gimmick here to spice up a short expositionary dialogue scene - three characters travel up in an old iron cage elevator, and we only see their back-lit silhouettes as they ascend. But is this live action? Is it animation? Is it some sort of aftereffects composite? Whatever it is, the body language is pushed to cartoon-level exaggeration, and it's a blast to watch. I'd love to see an an entire short film shot like this.


5. The City Is My Weapon (0:56:20)
This is one of the few sequences in the film that works as a genuine piece of cinematic storytelling. It's an action sequence that illustrates a central part of the story; The Spirit is part of the city he inhabits. As he fights off thugs, the Spirit uses literal pieces of the city in combat; snowballs, a manhole cover, the sidewalk itself. There are a lot of things for detractors of this movie to point to to tear it down, but I tell you what; ain't nothing wrong with this scene.

6. "It smells....dental..." (01:01:10)
When the Spirit wakes up tied to a dentist's chair facing a giant swastika, his reaction is my favorite line of the movie: "Dental and Nazi....great."

7. The Death of Danny Colt (01:05:15:)
Another all around solid sequence, this one dealing with a whole lot of exposition in a sharp, visually interesting way. Highlights include a morgue evoked with only a man, a corpse, and a red panel of ceiling, and a great POV shot of Danny trying to claw his way out of being buried alive (Miller's solution to the no-light-inside-a-coffin problem? Just light it anyway!).


8. "Get me a tie, and it sure as hell better be red!" (01:19:45)
When the Spirit cheats death yet again and wakes up in a ER, he just yanks the EKG cables right off and power-walks down the hallway with his sidekicks in tow. Lead actor Gabriel Macht made a fan of me with his performance in this film, and this scene is just one shining example of how he manages to nail a swaggering walk and pulp-noir growl with just the right amount of sincerity.

9. "We are locked and loaded!" (01:21:50)
Another performer who knows exactly how to play a cartoon character is Stana Katic, who plays Detective Morgenstern, a comically earnest rookie cop with a off-the-charts Bal'mer accent. In this scene, she whips out a gigantic gun out of nowhere that looks like one of those Zorg Guns from The Fifth Element, but MORESO. And it's a perfect character moment, because nothing phases this gal, she's enthusiastically unflappable. If that makes sense. Okay so maybe I have a little crush on this character. Shut up.

10. "Let's die!" (01:28:58)
Again, just another tip of the hat to Gabriel Macht for a killer line delivery. He's in Whiteout next, you know. I'll see it.

There you have it. Ten iron-clad reasons to check out one of the most maligned comic book movies in the last decade. And if that's not enough, it's also got Scarlett Johansson giving one of the most confused performances I've ever seen on screen. You feel bad for her, you do. You get the sense she couldn't stop starring at the green screens, and thinking, "This is not why I went to acting school."

Some Final Frakkin' Thoughts on the Battlestar Finale

I've been meaning to write this for the better part of a week now-surely you all know that Battlestar Galactica ended last friday, right? Well, the 2-hour finale sat on my dvr for almost a week before I got around to watching it. It wasn't a chore; that's not why it sat like so many unwatched episodes of Dollhouse clogging my Tivo's brain. No, I just found it hard to watch the end of one of my favorite series-fearful of the inevitable disappointment.

Well, I've watched it now and have given it the proper time to sit in my head. I think I finally know where I stand. Now, I know a shocking number of people who haven't watched this show yet (certain other unnamed editors of this very site for instance... yes I know, a travesty). As quintessential nerd viewing, you people need to get on board. But, for their benefit, I warn you now: SPOILERS ABOUND. Don't click the jump if you plan on watching the series. Also for their benefit, a brief and vague summation of my feelings about the ending: It left me happy, satisfied, and thoroughly unimpressed... an absolute shame for one of the most challenging and risk-taking series on tv.

For a series that is founded on truly biting social allegory, the ending was shockingly happy. In that one regard, it was a bit refreshing I guess. No one you cared about died (other than the president, whose cancer already made that obvious) and we got to end smiling about all our favorite characters leaving happy. It filled my inner fanboy with glassy-eyed happiness. However, so would a movie about Boba Fett fighting Batman over a gold-bikini-clad Leia. Obviously some desires shouldn't be fulfilled.

As happy as the finale sorta made me, it left me completely unimpressed and surprised at the sheer lack of risks they took. Over the past few years, BSG has boldly tread where very few shows dared; disguised in little more than a thin Sci-Fi veneer. Evil, proselytizing, mono-theistic robots? Sure! Overt analogy to the occupation of Iraq with genocidal cylons standing in for the Americans and the sympathetic humans acting as suicide bombing "insurgents"? Why Not! A torture scene in which the victim begins to derive sexual pleasure from his torment! Hells Yeah! Apart from the lack of lady nipples and the word "fuck" (neatly replaced by "frak"), you'd be hard pressed to find a show this daring on anything other than HBO. I almost imagine they got away with some of this stuff because the Universal execs signing off on it never looked beyond "robots kill humans in space? GREENLIGHT!"

So for a show so used to taking risks and surprising us at every turn, why a lackluster ending? Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's your fault, hmmm? For a show like this, with mysteries lathered over nagging questions, is there anything that would shock us at this point that hadn't already been endlessly debated in some internet forum? Is there really any ending that could surprise? We've had years and years to think about these things (thanks to the agonizingly long breaks between seasons) so of course every possibility has already been covered. Unless they pulled some Grant Morrisson shit and had Ron Moore come down in the end and say, "I'm your Cylon God," there really wasn't much they could do. The concept of Baltar's vision being an angel has been talked about since season 1-so no surprise there when, whaaa? lo and behold she is an angel! Same goes for Starbuck who, once we established the last cylon wasn't her, had to be an angle type thing as well. Earth was pre-historic Earth all along? They've been talking bout that one since the end of the mini-series ages ago.


But despite all that, it started out well enough... great even! The first hour was exciting and had me at the edge of my seat like no other finale has since Deadwood. In fact, there's a moment where it seems like the entire thing might just end in a glorious orgy of violence and misunderstanding... which would actually be a pretty appropriate ending for the series. But then they get out of it ok and end up at Earth. No, not the Earth they already established as Earth... but our Earth. Earth 2 I guess (and not the one with the grey haired superman). APPARENTLY, as hinted above, the whole series took place 150,000 years in the past, and the survivors of the series turn out to be our ancestors on Earth. Cute if a) it hadn't already been a standing theory online for 4 seasons or b) they hadn't decided to use All Along the Watchtower.

Here's a serious snag. When you use a real world artifact in a series set in some obviously fantastic place far from our plane of existence, well, that should have some meaning. So when the final 5 cylons started mumbling the lyrics to All Along the Watchtower-the internet was abuzz with theories about what this could mean. Turns out, the song is just the FTL coordinates for Earth and apparently was written 150,000 years before Bob Dylan was born... I guess that means he was communing with angels when he wrote it?

And on the topic of Earth's ancestors... one last thing that really bugged me: This show has prided itself on portraying this fantastic story with a sense of grim realism. They rarely forget that the fleet is populated by a bunch of scared people who don't know the inner workings of the story like the main players might. Unlike other SciFi and fantasy stories, there isn't a blind allegiance to the main cast. Instead, these scared masses are a constant thorn in the side of our heroes-forcing them to make terrible decisions and shoot people and all sorts of nasty stuff. So forgive me if I don't really buy their sudden willingness to just ditch their ships and technology to live some primitive tribal life screwing cave men (which, yes, is what they implied happened)

Lessee, any other mysteries? Oh yeah, the shared visions of the President, Athena, and Caprica 6 about Hera? When the visions started, the loyalties of all 3 parties were divided and aimed in separate directions. It was a genuinely scary race to save Hera from these potential future threats posed by their "comrades". Turns out, the kid just got lost in the hallway and auntie 6 and uncle Baltar find her. No biggie. See, by the time the vision actually plays out in reality, all 3 parties are so firmly on the same side that there's absolutely no threat!

So, yeah, it may have been a lackluster ending. Its optimism and cheerfulness may directly contradict the messages of season's past. The clever and layered mysteries may have fizzled into nothing. But I'm gonna be honest with you, it still left me kinda on the giddy side. It certainly appealed to most of my baser geek instincts. You just have to come to grips with the fact that, oftentimes, the question is a whole lot more exciting than the answer itself. A series built on mystery is almost doomed to disappoint in the end. It's a problem that Lost is gonna have to seriously address going into its final season. But either way, sometimes it's nice to get exactly what your inner fanboy wants. It could have used a tad more Boba Fett for my liking though.

Doc Ock Saw The Watchmen on Opening Night!

Thursday night was going to be a big night for the G'nerd staff, as we had tickets for a midnight screening of Watchmen... Unfortunately, we all came down with a mysterious illness (possibly caused by a day spent trying to perfect our blue milk recipe) and had to send our new field correspondent, Doctor Octopus, in our stead. Here is his report.
"Greetings, nerds! This is Doc Ock, reporting live from a theater somewhere in Manhattan. You have fifteen minutes to find me or everyone in the building will die! Hah! I'm only joking! You are incapable of understanding my superior sarcasm skills!"

Continued after the jump...
"Who are these insignificant fools? Why are they in front of me in line? Don't they know I used Fandango?"
"These ignoramuses thinks it's cool to dress up like a runty, greasy, withdrawn psycopath who gets nervous around women. Someone should tell them their infantile game of dress up is an excercise in redundancy! Hah!""I'll take a box of Milk Duds, three bags of Sour Patch Kids, and all the Twizzlers you have, and I'm not paying for them, for with a mere thought I could CRUSH YOU with my super strong octopus arms! Hello? Why is there no one here?"
"WHAT!!? How DARE this decrepit establishment insult me so!?""I, the great Doctor Otto Gunther Octavius, DEMAND to be helped at the upper level concession stand! I will not lower myself (get it? Hah!) to use the 'main' stand! I am holding every one of these nerds hostage until I am... Ooh, they're letting us in!""Hah! Perfect center! Nailed it! No one has a better seat than Doctor Octopus! No one will witness this visionary adaptation of the greatest non-Doc Ock-starring comic book series of all time from a more advantageous position! NO ONE!""WHAT?!! Leather seats!? Who are these peasants feigning superiority to the greatest criminal mastermind of all time? This affront shall not stand!"[offscreen murder]"Ahh, I feel much better now. The lights are going down! WOOOOOO!" [Clap clap clank clap clank clank clap]

"My expert review: An admirable attempt at adaptation, though falls far short of other great comic book films, like Spider-Man 2. That effeminate imbecile Adrian Veidt, the laughably-labeled "smartest man in the world," hatched a plan that would have been amusingly adequate if not for the unfortunate side effect of establishing a lasting peace. And I really miss that beautiful squid monster. 2 out of 8 appendages up."

So that's the Doc's report... Um... We probably won't send him out on assignment in the future.

The First 18 minutes of Watchmen at NYCC '09

For a giant-sized handful of lucky fans at comic con yesterday, WB screened the first 18 minutes of the Watchmen, as well as an additional scene which has yet to be screened anywhere else. It just so happens AHR and myself happened to be among the lucky few. Now, at this point, I feel like an ass saying "*Spoiler Alert*"... I doubt there are even a few among you who don't know exactly how the Watchmen ends. But for those who don't, or at least for those who want to keep the movie fresh, stop reading.

As an added treat, Watchmen artist Dave Gibbons introduced the film clips. Even though Alan Moore may not be behind the project, Gibbons certainly seems to be. He had nothing but glowing praise for the film and the people behind it. Of course you have to take that with a grain of salt, but to be honest, after seeing the open... I have to say I'm pretty impressed. I've been expecting disappointment-I enjoy keeping my expectations low, but unfortunately that may be a challenge now.

Anyway, let's get to it. The film opens on Blake chilling in his swanky apartment and a series of news clips on tv about escalating Cold War tensions and whatnot. There's a brief Nixon press conference and a few other clips not featured in the comic. I'm always wary of added material, but I'm really enjoying all of this era specific news footage; plus their Nixon is the perfect amount of cartoony Nixon characterization... not too goofy, but just evil enough to be a caricature.

Blake's fight with the shadowy assailant is now a full on scene, not just a series of flashbacks as it was in the comic. The fight sequence is impressively choreographed... though it's a bit dancy for my tastes (in its defense, AHR loved it). I just pictured that fight as a bit more desperate and brutal-no fancy moves or anything, just a good old fashioned ass-whoopin. But it is a superhero movie, and those Hollywood fight coordinators have to do something with their time. There was some impressive knife play, I'll give it that.

Immediately after Blake is tossed out the window and we've held on the requisite falling, blood-stained button; we go into the title sequence. And here is where the brilliance begins; this is what truly impressed me. Set to Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are A-Changin'", the title montage is made up of beautifully composed, nearly frozen in time moments of this world's history. Starting with a happy photo of the 1940's Minutemen, the montage slowly devolves into the grimmer reality of the "present day" Watchmen universe. Things were happy during WWII (I mean, who wouldn't be happy punching Nazis?), and then everything went to hell.

A few images worth mentioning: a recast version of the classic V-Day celebration photo of the sailor kissing the woman in the street... now its the sexy Silhouette kissing that lady... hooray for lesbianism. Even though I might find it hard to believe that these times were so forgiving as to celebrate lesbians in the street, I'm not one to ever complain about lesbians. So I won't. The excesses of the 70s are humorously covered as well-one shot features Andy Warhol showing off a Marilyn Monroe-esque print of the night owl. Another features a smug Ozymandias walking into a lavish studio 54. Of course the sad fates of the original Watchmen is covered, as well as some particularly sad shots of a young Walter Kovacs.

Ok, we're past that brilliance. We were lucky enough to see the scene following the titles as well-Rorschach inspecting Blake's apartment and discovering his alter ego as the Comedian. Despite a few well muttered "hurm"s, I have to say I'm skeptical of Jackie Earle Haley's Rorschach voice... its basically an impression of Christian Bale's Batman voice... and I was never really sold on his Batman voice to begin with. I wish he would have gone with a more monotone, emotionless take on the voice as opposed to the gravelly goodness of the Dark Knight.

After the open, we were blessed with the chance to see the cafeteria scene of Rorschach in prison. I've been trying to keep my fanboy cool, but this sucker had me gushing. It was pretty damn badass; despite the fact that if you closed your eyes, you could hear Batman yelling "I'm Not Locked Up In Here With You, You're Locked Up In Here With ME!" But here is where you really see how perfectly Jackie Earle Haley fits the role. He looks perfect (even if he doesn't sound it).

After the screening, Dave Gibbons answered a few brief questions. He guaranteed people that Doc Manhattan's nudity would remain explicit, he apologized to "cephalopod lovers" and broke hearts when he announced there would be no squid monster at the end (though he reassured us that though the MacGuffin may be different, the ending is still the same)... Lastly, he touched upon an interesting point. In response to a question about the potential for the film to change the superhero film genre, he expressed disappointment in the direction comics took after Watchmen. Together with the Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen heralded one of the darkest ages in comicdom (both in theme and quality) Apparently, back in the day, both Gibbons and Moore joked that if they were to work on another DC property, they would have loved to work on Captain Marvel; a decidedly happier and lighter character than any of the others. Gibbons expressed hope that the Watchmen movie wouldn't have the same effect on superhero films. Though it is interesting to note that timing wise, the movie coincides with the darkest Batman movie to date-and one that has already promised to change comic book movies. Hopefully the success of Iron Man and Spiderman will keep things balanced in the future. The last thing the now blossoming superhero movie machine needs, is another early 90's era dark age.

To end on a "positive" note, here is another awesome viral video for the Watchmen, courtesy of The New Frontiersman.

Snap Judgements: Reviews for Secret Six #3, Final Crisis: Resist, and Trinity #23

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Secret Six #3 gets an A from DEgan
It's great reading a book without a hero in sight-and Gail Simone knows how to give us exactly what we want... lots of villain on villain action. Fighting that is (though there's a fair bit of the loving too, just not in this issue). Another strong issue in what has quickly become one of my most anticipated monthly DC books... and this story arc is already utilizing one of my favorite storytelling cliches: The Roadtrip! Also, its not too often that I'm blown away by the cleverness and unique-itude of a comic book concept, but the reveal at the end of this issue had me giddy. Can't wait for the next issue!

Final Crisis: Resist gets a B from DEgan
I was able to really enjoy FC: Rage of the Red Lanterns; even though it deals with the current Green Lantern continuity which I haven't been following. I didn't need to know the ins and outs of the politics on OA-and they gave us a solid enjoyable issue that stood on its own. Resist, however, is so bogged down in Checkmate continuity that I found it hard to get through. I haven't followed any of checkmate's doings since they were loosely involved in the Bruce Wayne Fugitive story years ago. So I felt kinda lost throughout (and if you've been reading any of my previous critiques of Final Crisis so far, you'll know that I don't need to feel lost anymore than I already do). Now why doesn't this book have a lower grade you might ask? Well, the nonsense between Snapper Carr and Cheetah was so enjoyable that it saved this book from sucking. This is the second book this week in which she's featured prominently; Secret Six being the other (I accidentally typed "Secret Sex"... which is telling considering her shenanigans this issue). I never knew I liked Cheetah before... but if she's given this treatment more often, she'll quickly climb my list of favorite DCU villains.

Final Crisis: Resist gets a B from AHR
I actually just picked this book up from DEgan's stack and flipped through it, but that sex scene was so steamy I have to give it some props. Favorite part: post-coitus, Snapper is reeling from the experience and Cheetah is like, "Yeah, I know, I'm extremely good." I agree with Deeg, more of her, please!

Reviews for Trinity #23 and another take on Secret Six, after the jump...


Trinity #23 gets a B from DEgan
I wish I had realized at the start that Trinity was DC's next weekly comic... I wasn't quite ready for the commitment. But, that being said, this book is a refreshing break from DCs other big continuity events, Final Crisis and Batman RIP. Though those are still enjoyable, I find myself lost most of the time. Trinity, on the other hand, may lack any characters I care about but it delivers on story. I'm never lost and the progression of the story makes sense and feels right throughout. Plus, in a time when DC continuity is under attack by crisis event writing, Trinity flaunts and taunts its continuity at the same time. The only holes in the plot that appear in these pages, are deliberate and cause the characters some delightful consternation. Wouldn't you be really upset if someone you knew for years is suddenly the head anchor for a national news magazine show... and she's always been so... even though she wasn't 10 minutes ago? Yeah. Its also great to see Black Adam again... and he's not happy about his continuity changes... he's smashing demons demanding to know why he's fighting them. Pretty funny stuff. So although its missing the characters I loved from 52, its giving me a far more coherent and enjoyable story than either of DC's previous weekly comic attempts.

Secret Six #3 gets a C from AHR
The first Secret Six miniseries is one of my favorite comic runs of all time, but I'm not quite feeling this. I thought this would be a rollicking road trip with bullets flying every whichaway, but these issues have felt slow. Too much plot, not enough of the casual interaction between the six that I like so much. I love these characters, but they feel a little stale...Ragdoll's disturbing non-sequitors are fun, but a little repetitive. I'm probably just mad because Knockout died, destroying one of my favorite comic couples. I'll stick with this comic, but I really hope the pace picks up.

Snap Judgements: Final Crisis #4, Final Crisis: Submit, Daredevil #112 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Final Crisis #4 gets an A- from DEgan
As much as I'd hate to admit it at this point, I think I'm finally figuring out what's going on-apparently it just all takes place between the panels and between the books. And as begrudgingly as I may admit this, I can't shake the fact that I'm really enjoying these books. It seems Morrison's greatest ability as a writer is to give you stories that make no sense but you can't help but love. And now that we're pretty far along, I'm actually seeing where some of these puzzle pieces land... this thing may end like a season of Wire and leave us all blown away... or it may end like every other crisis event in comic history: disappointingly. Only thing I know for sure-I'm digging out all my past issues of Final Crisis to see what it is exactly that I've missed.

Daredevil #112 gets an A- from DEgan
The last issue left me torn; I wasn't sure how I felt about Matt and Dakota North sleeping together. My first reaction was "ugh, typical." But then, the more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense... I mean, come on, it was actually pretty inevitable; she's a former supermodel detective... he's a crazy loner who's lost every woman he's ever loved...she was just beaten to a bloody pulp... he's, well, a crazy loner who's lost every woman he's ever loved. It was gonna happen. This issue deals mostly with the angsty aftermath-and Matt's reaction is lovably predictable. I'm also kinda digging Lady Bullseye even though she's done little more than lurk in the shadows and watch things happen. You have to give it to Brubaker-I didn't think anyone would be able to follow Bendis' (possibly my favorite single run on any superhero title). But he's doing a great job-still one of my favorite monthly titles. Now, just give me something to review other than soap opera who-slept-with-whom BS.

Reviews for Final Crisis: Submit and the DC Halloween spcial, after the jump...

Final Crisis: Submit gets a B+ from DEgan
Oh look! Another Final Crisis title! God forbid I miss a single one! Sigh, all the attitude aside, its yet another FC title that has me confused and happy. Lucky for me, my friendly neighborhood comic retailer told me to read this book before Final Crisis #4.... as the book ends about 30 seconds before #4 begins. I woulda been double plus-pissed if I had read it the other way around. Apparently freedom of the press is the super hero community's #1 priority in this crisis as both of the books have JLA second stringers running paper boy duties (I saw the opening splash page of Black Lightning running with the Daily Planet Satchel and immediately thought, "ah, Grant Morrison's writing this one too") Also, there are some great black superhero vs black supervillain moments in this book (some comically bordering on the cliched) that made me care more for Black Lightning than I ever have. Now, Mr. Morrison, pull this sucker together!

DC Universe Halloween Special Thing gets an F from AHR
This was the most incoherent piece of crap I've ever read. Seriously. Worst edited book I've ever read. It seems like there might be some fun things in here (Duncan Rouleau's story at least looks interesting), but it's just not worth the head scratching. As happy I was to see the Dibneys back as ghost detectives, their dialogue is embarrassingly bad, to say nothing of all the grammar and punctuation errors. Throw this crap in the trash.

There Will Be Brawl: In-Jokes, Analysis, and Serious Geeking Out

By now, most web-savvy gamers (is there any other kind?) are well-acquainted with the newly minted classic, There Will Be Brawl. If you haven't seen it already, check it out above (mildly NSFW). It's a grim, Noir-ish look into the Mushroom Kingdom, and features awesome production values and appearances by the biggest names in Smash Brothers history (and those who aren't in Episode 1 are on their way...we hear the Pokemon Trainer is next up for the spotlight! Can Pikachu be far behind?).

I recently wrote a detailed review of the show, which you can read at Tilzy.TV. But more importantly, our resident Nintendo specialist Degan was good enough to take meticulous notes on the series, including annotations for the show's many in-jokes and references. You can play the video and read along, or just skim through to see all the nerdy references you may have missed the first time.

• Abductions and mutilations? I'm not sure if this is a yet-to-be-revealed plot point or a reference to some character i'm not thinking of... are the abductions referencing the weird trophy-fying gun that Bowser uses on the characters in the brawl story mode?
• Toad people! Its not the mushroom kingdom without Toads!
• I believe the first Noir music cue is a tune from Mario 2.
• Wii fit ad a nice touch ("unseen arbiter").
• Creepy mask guy in the hallway is from Mario 2.
• "Pileup on Moonview Highway to Moo Moo meadows" is from Mario Kart.

More after the jump? You better believe it.

• Lakitu newscaster is from a bunch of games, but the fact that he's a newscaster is a reference to Mario Kart, where he's the cameraman for the instant replays, and fishes you out after you throw yourself off a cliff. Here, he's complete with fishing pole, and if you look closely you'll see his desk is cloud with eyes.
  
• Luigi's drinking the classic red health potion (I believe first seen in Zelda-but its such a video game convention that I'm not even sure anymore). [edit: there's some debate on the TWBB forums about this potion... many there seem to think its the warp potion from Mario 2... I still maintain that it's regular old health potion. For one, they never drank the warp potions... they threw them on the ground to create doors! So in the context of the scene, it doesn't make much sense for Luigi to be drinking a warp potion... unless he's trying to commit suicide by "internal door".]
  
• Police chief Link and his "Hylean" brand justice-reference to Lake Hylia in Hyrule... apparently an authoritarian police state... never knew. [edit: apparently the "Hylians" are the people of Hyrule... not just lake Hylia]
  
• Awesome violin Mario music that starts as the Mario Death tune and leads into the classic Mario Theme!
• Power up boxes! sweet! And power up mushrooms complete with Mario World sound effects!
• Wario's awesome! And those ice climbers are super creepy... why does Nana need a monobrow?!?
• Roy and Pichu are two characters who didn't make into the line-up for Smash Brothers Brawl...now we know why.
  
• More reference to the mutilations and "tiny guts"? Is that just cause Pichu is tiny... or is there some shrinking thing I'm not picking up?
• Blinking Wario growth a nice touch too
• "Tunic-wearing fairy"- nasty way to refer to Link... "his pigs"? Either just your typical slur for police or possibly a reference to the pigs of Ness' New Pork City? Are there even pigs there though? I don't know...
• Mario Dungeon Theme when Mario confronts Wario and Luigi (actually its the Haunted House theme from Mario World)
• I love the princess' undercover-celebrity-glasses and hoodie! At first I thought the princess was terribly acted... then i realized she's trying to do that obnoxious high-pitched monosyllabic speaking style she always has in the games... pretty clever.
• Mario's medical practice! Dr. Mario reference, natch. [edit: it only just occurred to us the reason for Mario's "failed medical practice"... Dr. Mario isn't featured in Brawl-it's how they killed him off (like they did Pichu, Roy, and MewTwo)]
  
• Shrinking noise from Super Mario World when Mario attacks Wario.
• Ha, "Been a referee (Punchout), been a doctor (obviously Dr. Mario)". Man, Mario's been around.
• Is there tension between Waluigi and Wario? He seems pretty touchy about the issue.
• Awesome awesome ringtone! Sonic Boom! The theme song from the barely played Sonic CD for the even more barely owned SegaCD (I think I owned the only one) I guess that means she's in contact with Sonic... Also surprising they used this since I was one of 7 people who owned SegaCD.
• Ha, "dance around in your skin!" Cause that's kinda what Kirby does!
• "Her own court anymore?" And since when have the Mario Bros not been useful? Not sure if these are game references or again, yet-to-be-revealed plot points...
• Megavitamins.... that's what Dr. Mario used!
• Kirby's a scary freak!

That he is, Degan, that he is. No, seriously. When I had to check the credits for my review, I put my hand over the screen in case I went too far back and ended up on a still of him. Not joking, people.

Snap Judgements: Reviews for New Avengers, Superman/Batman, Runaways, and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Superman/Batman #52 gets an A from AHR

Any criticism I might have about this book is negated by the fact that I read the entire thing with a huge smile on my face. It's part 2 of 2, but here's all I needed to know; cute lil DC characters drawn by former Blue Beetle artist Rafael Albuquerque. Michael Green, he of the both excellent and horrible Lovers and Madmen story, serves up some moments of sheer cute-larity. Even when things go dark, they don't get ugly. WAN MORE PLZ.

Runaways gets an A from AHR

Fun and funny art, plenty of LOLs and :(s. Also lesbians. And you know you're reading an awesome book when you have a gay couple who are being hated on not because they're gay, but because one of them is a skrull. Oh Marvel, you'll win me over yet! I haven't read much of this title, and if you haven't either, check it out; they do a great job filling new readers in on what's going on.

Blue Beetle, New Avengers, and Avengers: Initiative, after the jump...

Blue Beetle #31 gets a B from AHR

This series continues to be really good. Not John Rogers good, but better than 85% of all superhero comics good. It's certainly the best thing I've read by Matt Sturges. I like the border patrol arc, maybe Jamie can take on the housing crisis next?

Avengers: The Initiative #17 gets a B from Albo

As tired as I am of Sectret Invasion, The Initiative does a pretty
good job of telling interesting stories with the mega event as its
backdrop. Ant-Man, stranded in this series after his brilliant Robert
Kirkman solo series got canned, finally gets a moment to shine with
his particular brand of false, cowardly "heroism." There's also a
great pep talk from Nick Fury wherein he goes on about how the
"Greatest Generation" were really just a bunch of scared kids in
trenches, just like you.

New Avengers #45 gets a C from Albo

Man, I bet I would just love this issue if I had read all of that "No
More Mutants" crap a while back. There's a cool alternate reality,
some classic "Back to the Future" style flashbacks where we get to see
a famous scene from a new perspective... All kinds of cool stuff. Oh,
yeah, but I don't know what the hell is going on. My fault, I know, I
know.

Movie Review: Persepolis

The new Persepolis movie (Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud’s adaptation of Satrapi’s popular comic book) begins with a grown Marjane staring at the departures board in a French airport. She’s looking at a listing for a flight to Tehran. It’s a color scene in a black-and-white cartoon, but you don’t feel like it’s because Marjane is finally alive on the inside or in Oz or anything like that. Marjane looks dismal. She goes through the motions of boarding the flight, but stops short of doing so.

It’s made difficult for certain peoples to see themselves in the representations of other certain peoples. Satrapi’s simple, colorless drawings present an opportunity for overcoming this disability.

The story is told through several long flashbacks, the first of which has Marjane, in late 70s Iran, as a cute, round-faced and extremely self-assured child intoxicated by the glamour of political turmoil. Her parents (Catherine Deneuve and Simon Abkarian) are progressives who worry about their friends and family members being held as political prisoners.

Dealing with an audience who will know at least a little about what will happen, Satrapi and Paronnaud still manage to make the family’s hopeful anticipation of a post-Shah Iran feel immediate and gripping. When the Islamic revolution changes their way of life, the adults in Marjane’s life, vignetted in charcoal, rationalize the situation directly to the camera– half the country is illiterate, religion and nationalism are the only ways the people can come together, things will improve. But Persepolis depicts life in Iran as increasingly repressive and rife with public dishonesty. The movie is very funny, and much of the humor comes at the expense of the most iconic results of the Islamic revolution. Iran sent Cannes a peeved note for showing the film this year, and had it pulled out of Thailand recently.

The social model for women in post-revolution society intrudes on Marjane’s coming-of-age, which is a whole big piece of this story, and the filmmakers are funny and unflinching in telling it. The black head covering and chador – new and bothersome to Marjane’s cosmopolitan family – are used to great effect in scenes at school (a crowd of teenage girls, their differences wiped away), on the street (two old harpies shift and bend around Marjane, offended by her homemade Punk is Ded jacket and Michael Jackson button (“western decadence!” ))

As Marjane grows up, she becomes incompatible with her country. Her grandma (Danielle Darrieux) bolsters her fierce independence, and acts as an external conscience. That sounds maudlin and predictable, but this grandmother isn’t your sweet and dim movie stereotype. When Marjane has a man arrested to distract Revolutionary Guard officers from noticing that she is wearing makeup, her grandma berates her like nobody’s business. And Grandma makes references to the “small dicks!” of various men, a determined and strident reversal of objectification. And when Marjane pretends to be French at a school party in Vienna, Grandma appears as a shadow stalking her home.

The film is beautiful to look at. It employs some familiar old-school cinematic tools – magic-lantern-type animations, silhouetted and expressionistic renderings of ruination and fear that reminded me, in flashes, of a wide range of black-and-white directors, like Murnau and de Sica. Olivier Bernet’s score is wonderful (and it doesn’t feel fake “Middle Eastern” like you’d hear in a Hollywood movie), and it’s super important in Persepolis, which tends toward an almost episodic structure, at times ending sequences with an iris out to black.

Persepolis doesn’t neglect to tell the story of Western tampering with Iranian affairs, and it doesn’t gloss over European xenophobia. Marjane seems like a misfit everywhere on Earth, and she directs her anger outward, at the Khomeinians who have her people in a headlock, at a cheating boyfriend, at bourgeois Europeans. Only during a trippy, drawn-out sequence in which she takes anti-depressants (she ends up in the clouds with god and who I assume is Marx), do we get the sense that she ever struggles with her reaction to her situation. She has not a moment of self-doubt.

Each main character rejects the Islamic revolution totally and completely, which left me wondering about those who would have their private resistance eaten away by time. I was curious about what is was like for Marjane’s parents to optimistically consider something like the Islamic revolution as a brief downtick in the national soul, only to see its grip on your culture tighten. In one of the movie’s last moments, Marjane is in an Iranian airport with her family. Her parents’ black and white oval faces take on the familiar expressions your parents usually have when you’re about to board a plane without them, but she’s never coming back.

Game Review: Rayman Raving Rabbids 2

If I hadn't gotten a Wii at launch I can't imagine I would have ever bought the first Rayman Raving Rabbids game. But at the time there wasn't much out and I had to have something to play with my friends. That game was a mixed bag with a few good minigames but a seriously broken multiplayer component. The game was good for laughs but not much else, and I sold it as soon as I had a couple of newer games (WarioWare, Mario Party) that filled the party game requirement in my apartment.

So does the sequel have more staying power than the original? Hit the jump for our full review.

The Structure
Rabbids 2 ditches the overly restrictive story mode from the first game and lets you pick one of six "trips," each loosely representing a different region of the world. You can do these trips either alone or in a group, an improvement over the original which required you to unlock the minigames in single player mode before they became available in multiplayer.

Also available is the option to string as many of your favorite games as you'd like together to make custom trips, which is really important because...

The Games
...there are some really bad minigames in the mix. Far too many of them rely on the "shake the Wiimote as fast as you can" mechanic, which gets really old really really fast. There are other complete duds, like the chess game which requires you to hold your hands to your temples as if you're concentrating really hard. I get it, it's a joke, chess is hard and rabbids are dumb so this is how they play it, but that doesn't make it a minigame you're going to want to play more than once.

Another blemish on the game's record are the on-rail shooting levels. These were the best part of the original game, but they flop here. The big change is that instead of a fully 3D environment the levels are based around full motion video shot on location in New York, Paris, etc. It's actually a well done, nice looking effect, but it makes the game much more static than the original. The environments don't have any of the dynamism they had in the first game, and the rabbids actions are much more limited because they can't actually interact with their surroundings. It comes off less like an energetic shooter and more like an old shooting gallery game (think Lethal Enforcers.) Add to the equation that there is a significant lag between your trigger pull and the gun firing and you're left with a game so tedious you'll be wishing it would just end. Thankfully these levels are separated from the main game, so you don't really ever have to play them (but we both know you will anyway, you completist.)

These bad games don't matter much in the long run, however, because once you make a custom trip with your favorites you'll never have to see them again. And for ever dud in the game there is a real star. Among the best:

• A volleyball game which is easy to lose hours to with friends once you get over some slightly unintuitive mechanics
• A bumper car game that takes place on top of a skyscraper and brings back happy memories of one of my all-time favorite minigames, Super Monkey Ball's "Monkey Fight"
• A movie theater game in which you raise the Wiimote to your head like a phone (complete with Rabbid gibberish via the speaker) until the theater manager walks in and turns on the lights, at which point you have to lower your phone before he catches you and press buttons as quickly as you can to send text messages to the other players, causing their phones to vibrate which gets them in trouble with the manager.

The theater game will fill you with more glee than you might be able to handle.

The Tech-uality
One of the bigger disappointments of this game is that the graphics are really sub-par. We've seen much better out of not only the Wii, but the GameCube and even the PS2. Hopefully Nintendo has schooled everyone with Mario Galaxy and third parties will put more effort into future games to try to reach that bar.

The Rest
Realizing no one cares a flying flip about the "Ugliest and Most Uncompelling Gaming Mascot of All Time Award" winner Rayman, they took him off the cover and made the Rabbids playable. And not only playable but fully customizable, from their heads down to their toes. There's also a jukebox where you can listen to unlocked songs, which is a feature that pops up in a lot of games and I can't help but ask why do developers think we care about this shit?

The Verdict
Despite it's shortcomings, I remain very positive about this game. The bad minis are disappointing, but there are enough good ones to construct a custom trip that will keep you and three friends entertained and laughing for hours. And since that's all I could ask for out of a party game, I place Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 above every other party game on the Wii with the exception of Wii Sports, if you even include that in the category.

THREE out of FOUR stars!

Movie Review: Sweeney Todd

Sometimes blood everywhere is the only way a situation is going to go. From Titus Andronicus to Travis Bickle, there's a rich dramatic history of individuals alienated to the point of insanity who, to paraphrase Patrick Bateman, "just have to kill a lot of people."

The story of Sweeney Todd comes from Victorian England, which as all young Americans learn, was not the place to be unless you were an actual queen of England named Victoria. Composer Stephen Sondhiem has Sweeney sum up his opinion of 19th century London with these lyrics: "There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/and it's filled with people who are filled with shit." Tim Burton sets his adaptation of this nearly flawless Sondheim musical in a a gray, vile world to match this sentiment. The only thing that gives color to the world, and relief to the protagonist, is blood. Lots and lots of blood.

Todd's antagonist is the snakely Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman), who had him carted off to a penal colony in Australia, then stole away his wife and infant child. Fifteen years later, Todd returns. He is put up by the pie-shop proprietress Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), and one complete mental breakdown later, the two hatch a scheme that is as grotesque as it is practical. Soon the blood is flowing in full force: squished between gears, gracefully seeping, cataracting down necks, shooting out like geysers from the necks of some of our favourite British performers.

Stage productions of the musical have traditionally put Todd's boiling rage at the forefront of his character, but Johnny Depp gives a more sorrowful, repressed performance of a man who makes a constant effort not to feel anything at all. With a chalk white face and dark eyes, he looks like he has no blood left in him. He only brightens up when he's actively planning his revenge, and the only time he seems to be truly part of the living world is when he's slashing someone's throat (by the middle of the film, not an infrequent occurrence). Otherwise, he seems so haunted by death he is virtually dead himself. Sweeney's consumption with death is put to great effect in Burton's staging of the song "By the Sea," in which Lovett's fantasizes about a life of bourgeois paradise with her shattered maniac - bright, surreal scenes are undercut by a catatonic Sweeney, staring blankly ahead through beachside lounge-abouts and dinner with friends.

Mrs. Lovett, as played by HBC, is intensely driven by her desire for domestic comfort, and ghoulish in her easy acceptance of the horrendous path that takes her there. Carter's comedic timing helps her fly through her first musical number, despite her weak singing voice. Her lack of diction proves to be a real problem with some of the more up-tempo songs, which is a shame since the lyrics in this show are some of the best in all of musical theater. Depp handles his songs by going back and forth between a unembellished but effective tenor and a somewhat misplaced rocker's growl, which he gets away with because of how completely believable his portrayl is otherwise. The best voice in the film belongs to newcomer Ed Sanders, who plays a young urchin who strikes a maternal chord in Mrs. Lovett, at least until he be becomes an inconvenience to her. When he does, Carter's Mrs. Lovett suffers the loss acutely, unlike the Patti LuPone Lovett in the recent outstanding Broadway production, who was a fierce sociopath. It's a good choice for this quieter Sweeney and Lovett duo, if a little predictable and Hollywood.

There is a subplot revolving around Todd's grown daughter Joanna and her starry-eyed lover Anthony, played by Jayne Wisener and Jamie Campbell Bower. Together, they look like a pair of waifs who may have fallen from the pages of Burton's sketchbook. Bower has a pleasant and emotive voice, although the cuts in material leave him with only one chance to show it off. Wisener's singing is less noteworthy. It would be my guess that these actors are singing at less than their full capability so as not to contrast too strongly with the bleak, ugly world of the film, but Wisener's strained performance of her aria, "Green Finch and Linnet Bird", makes a beautiful song come off inert. Alan Rickman is awesome, as usual, and his singing voice is as nice to listen to as his speaking voice. So we're talking really nice. Sacha Baron Cohen, as the rival barber Pirelli, is gigantic in every way.

Sweeney Todd is in many ways a return to form for Tim Burton. For the last decade, his work has exhibited some of his distinctive visual touches, but often overall they were characterized by stale tableau, unimaginative camera work and clunky attempts at humor. Much of humor in Sweeney Todd comes from from how people can remain unbothered by the most unspeakable crimes, and Burton wisely lets these moments play straight, accenting the absurdity.

The film's final moment is a striking image that exemplifies why revenge might not in fact be a great idea after all. The quiet nature of the ending may leave you surprised that it's over, but as with several other key points of the film, an eerie, almost frozen image is made majestic by the expertly orchestrated score. No one could have expected this film to end cleanly, as revenge stories rarely do. There's no redemption to be had, unless you count Tim Burton's success in bringing us another brilliant portrait of a doomed outsider, and his darkest one to date.

Obligatory Letter Grade: A-

The previous review is a joint effort between AHR and Gnerd contributor Sarah B.

Review: Yahtzee Croshaw's The Art of Theft

Geekanerd Adventure Game Corresponent Fred reviews The Art of Theft by Yahtzee Croshaw, of Zero Punctuation fame...


In the rarefied word of internet-based gaming fandom, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's star is on the rise. For those unfamiliar, Croshaw (Je refuse, pointless nickname!) made his first mark on the world designing a series of clever and engaging games using the Sierra/LucasArts-aping Adventure Game Studio. Quickly rising to as much prominence as that particular world affords, he spent a few years dabbling in web comics and blogging before finding his Rushmore: the brilliant "Zero Punctuation" animated video game review series. Demonstrating once again the world's need for an erudite Brit to verbally eviscerate something (anything, really), the series has rightly earned Croshaw a mountain of praise, not to mention an all-expenses paid trip to gamer Mecca, Valve HQ in Seattle. However, in the midst of this ascent, he continues to design games, and has recently released a stealthtastic platformer called "Trilby: The Art Of Theft." Let the schadenfreude...begin.

Actually, the game is decent. In "AoT," you take on the role of gentleman cat burglar Trilby, the protagonist of Croshaw's most popular Adventure Game series. Using a lock pick, a tazer-tipped umbrella, and a variety of upgradeable stealth tactics, you sneak from mission to mission, collecting lucre while avoiding security guards, lasers, and rotating security cameras. The graphics are lovably old school, the MIDI score is surprisingly good, and the missions are well-designed. The gameplay is another plus. Trilby's movements are smooth, and after a little practice, I had him zipping around the screen pleasantly. The obstacles are repetitive by design, with Croshaw mixing and matching them enough to keep the game fresh. My one caveat to this praise is the difficulty curve. After beating the seven primary missions, your next challenge is to beat all seven missions in a row without stopping, with a punishingly low margin of error. To put it mildly, it's a huge pain, and the only reward is a new costume that, as far as I can tell, has no impact on gameplay. I have been told that if you play this uber-mission all the way through wearing a bright white suit that makes the game about ten times harder, you can earn a gold suit or a ninja costume or something like that. Deciding that I could live the rest of my life fairly happily without seeing a pixellated stick figure wear a pixellated golden tuxedo, I gave up after beating it once, content that I had milked sufficient fun out of AoT.

The biggest disappointment, oddly enough, is the story. In his reviews, Croshaw regularly takes designers to task for hackneyed plot lines, yet AoT's narrative, revealed through a series of rather lame noir cutscenes, is weak and at times almost nonsensical. You start off robbing some rich guy, then someone tries to blackmail you, then the rich guy gets murdered by his wife for some reason, who is on your side but then she isn't, only you help her out anyway for some reason. Oh, and there's a big evil corporation. Admittedly, this being a platform game, I'm willing to cut it some slack, but even the details are phoned in ( e.g. Croshaw gives his antagonist corporation the not-even-trying name "The Company"). None of this severely hampered my enjoyment of AoT, but it was a surprise coming from Croshaw.

Overall, AoT is a pleasurable B/B+ diversion and worth a few hours of anyone's time. I mainly worry about Croshaw himself, who I fear is running the risk of developing what I'm going to call the Dale Peck syndrome. Peck, a novelist and literary critic, achieved notoriety in the nineties and early 00s by writing a series of scathing reviews in The New Republic (he famously declared Rick Moody "the worst writer of his generation"). The reviews were entertaining, provocative, and often hilarious. Great. Problem is, they ended up completely overshadowing his novels, all of which were met with a resounding "meh." Croshaw is a promising designer, and I would hate to see his games suffer from the popularity of Zero Punctuation, either by sucking up his time, unfairly inflating expectation, or putting him at the wrong end of a hiring desk, opposite some game executive he has enthusiastically pilloried.