Snap Judgements: Ex Machina #39, Thunderbolts #126, Ambush Bug #4 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some minor spoilers.

Ex Machina #39 gets an A from DEgan
From the beginning, Ex Machina has been one of the only books to actually give you a sense of "this is what it'd actually be like..." And that's saying alot considering so many books strive to achieve just that. But Ex Machina is the only one to deliver on that promise-and it delivers well. This issue is the conclusion to the "Dirty Tricks" story arc-and gives us one of the most intriguing final showdowns between a "supervillain" and a "superhero"... And that's assuming that Karl Rove wasn't the supervillain of the book. He makes a subtle appearance at the end-they don't say it out right, but he's a white house deputy and looks alot like our favorite turd blossom. His inclusion in the story only furthers the sense that this really happened-and again that's impressive considering one of the characters speaks to machines! If you aren't reading this book, get caught up! Its one of my favorites.

The Flash #246 gets a B+ from DEgan
This issue deals with one of the most genuine and loving relationships in the DCU-Linda Park West is dying and the flash fam is not too happy about it. Considering 6 of the pages are series flashbacks (and still don't convincingly explain how she goes from local reporter to world class scientist)-its impressive I enjoyed it as much as I did. Even the hardened comic book cynic that I am, is still genuinely concerned about the outcome of this story. They've done a great job at making me believe Linda is actually on the brink of death (hell, even the Spectre says its gonna happen...) And if she does die... well I just don't know what I'll do with myself... This book had me feeling it.

Thunderbolts #129 gets a B from AHR
I stopped reading this after Ellis left, but this is the start of a two issue interlude by Andy Diggle, so this is probably a good time as any to get back on. And wouldn't you know it, this issue offers all the good stuff that attracted me to this series in the first place. Norman Osborn acting like a dick, Bullseye being scary, and everyone being mean to poor lil Songbird. This issue also features the scene I've been waiting for a while, in which Moonstone, in full blown evil psychiatrist mode, tears down Penance for a lame and boring character. Yay!

Reviews for Street Fighter II Turbo #2 and Ambush Bug #4, after the jump...

Ambush Bug #4 gets a B- from DEgan
As confusing as this book is, it has me laughing an awful lot. I wasn't privy to the Ambush Bug heyday in the 80's... so there might be alot I'm missing. But there's something about it; I feel like I'm on the outside looking in-but so want to be on the inside! This book is really only for the diehard DC fans-but luckily this issue dealt heavily with 52 (which I followed obsessively) so for once I was half in the loop! The issue begins with Dan Didio suffering an embarrassing death-and follows the inexplicable Argh!Yle (Ambush Bug's nemesis who happens to be a sock) through the pages of 52 as he tracks down the Bug. I particularly enjoyed the 52 parody "time/place" subtitles which were all replaced with "page 9, Panel 2" and so on. Its also good to see Wicker Sue Dibny make a cameo. I dunno... this books to odd to explain. But there's some sick part of me that keeps bringing me back for more. I used the word "but" an awful lot in this review... and that goes to show how torn I am about enjoying this.

Street Fighter II Turbo #2 gets a C from AHR
I loved the first issue of this series because it was just a bunch of crazy fights and character moments. This issue has it's share of crazy fights, but aside from a nice moment of pathos early on, there isn't much else to keep your attention. It also feels really short, because there's an extremely boring backup story about Abel, a new character from Street Fighter IV. On the plus side, Cammie sexily assassinates a politician who looks a lot like George W., which is probably worth the price of admission.

Snap Judgements: Detective Comics #850, Cleaners #1, Batman Cacophony #1

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.


Detective Comics #850 gets an A from AHR

This was one of the best Batman stories I've read in over a year. The ending resolves every storyline with an emotional gut-punch and a few surprises as well. Dini has weaved Hush and Ventriloquist II so well into the fabric of the Batman universe, I'm dying to see where they'll turn up next.

Cleaners #1 gets a B from AHR

If there's anything that my film school writing classes taught me, it's that people LOVE a procedural drama. This story explains the largely unexlored world of trauma scene cleanup, and that subject alone will keep your attention in a Discovery Channel sort of way. But the characters are also subtly written, which is a nice change in a storytellng medium that tends to rely so heavily on over-the-top archtypes. There's also some really horrific indications of the things to come, which leaves you feeling so anxious I feel almost obligated to get the next issue. Well played.

Batman Cacophony #1 gets a C from AHR

Dude writers like Kevin Smith and Judd Winick really love writing the Joker with lots of gay jokes. Objectively, this is fine (all's fair in love and Joker characterizations) but at a certain point this issue, it feels like Smith is using gay-sex jokes not just for cheap laughs, but as a shorthand for perversion. Plus I think we all know that the Joker is only gay for Batman. Anyway. This issue is mostly just cartoonishly violent, low-calorie fun. Low points include a weakly characterized Deadshot and a new villain that has a lot of 'splainin to do if Smith means for us to take him seriously.

Snap Judgements: Reviews for Secret Six #3, Final Crisis: Resist, and Trinity #23

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Secret Six #3 gets an A from DEgan
It's great reading a book without a hero in sight-and Gail Simone knows how to give us exactly what we want... lots of villain on villain action. Fighting that is (though there's a fair bit of the loving too, just not in this issue). Another strong issue in what has quickly become one of my most anticipated monthly DC books... and this story arc is already utilizing one of my favorite storytelling cliches: The Roadtrip! Also, its not too often that I'm blown away by the cleverness and unique-itude of a comic book concept, but the reveal at the end of this issue had me giddy. Can't wait for the next issue!

Final Crisis: Resist gets a B from DEgan
I was able to really enjoy FC: Rage of the Red Lanterns; even though it deals with the current Green Lantern continuity which I haven't been following. I didn't need to know the ins and outs of the politics on OA-and they gave us a solid enjoyable issue that stood on its own. Resist, however, is so bogged down in Checkmate continuity that I found it hard to get through. I haven't followed any of checkmate's doings since they were loosely involved in the Bruce Wayne Fugitive story years ago. So I felt kinda lost throughout (and if you've been reading any of my previous critiques of Final Crisis so far, you'll know that I don't need to feel lost anymore than I already do). Now why doesn't this book have a lower grade you might ask? Well, the nonsense between Snapper Carr and Cheetah was so enjoyable that it saved this book from sucking. This is the second book this week in which she's featured prominently; Secret Six being the other (I accidentally typed "Secret Sex"... which is telling considering her shenanigans this issue). I never knew I liked Cheetah before... but if she's given this treatment more often, she'll quickly climb my list of favorite DCU villains.

Final Crisis: Resist gets a B from AHR
I actually just picked this book up from DEgan's stack and flipped through it, but that sex scene was so steamy I have to give it some props. Favorite part: post-coitus, Snapper is reeling from the experience and Cheetah is like, "Yeah, I know, I'm extremely good." I agree with Deeg, more of her, please!

Reviews for Trinity #23 and another take on Secret Six, after the jump...


Trinity #23 gets a B from DEgan
I wish I had realized at the start that Trinity was DC's next weekly comic... I wasn't quite ready for the commitment. But, that being said, this book is a refreshing break from DCs other big continuity events, Final Crisis and Batman RIP. Though those are still enjoyable, I find myself lost most of the time. Trinity, on the other hand, may lack any characters I care about but it delivers on story. I'm never lost and the progression of the story makes sense and feels right throughout. Plus, in a time when DC continuity is under attack by crisis event writing, Trinity flaunts and taunts its continuity at the same time. The only holes in the plot that appear in these pages, are deliberate and cause the characters some delightful consternation. Wouldn't you be really upset if someone you knew for years is suddenly the head anchor for a national news magazine show... and she's always been so... even though she wasn't 10 minutes ago? Yeah. Its also great to see Black Adam again... and he's not happy about his continuity changes... he's smashing demons demanding to know why he's fighting them. Pretty funny stuff. So although its missing the characters I loved from 52, its giving me a far more coherent and enjoyable story than either of DC's previous weekly comic attempts.

Secret Six #3 gets a C from AHR
The first Secret Six miniseries is one of my favorite comic runs of all time, but I'm not quite feeling this. I thought this would be a rollicking road trip with bullets flying every whichaway, but these issues have felt slow. Too much plot, not enough of the casual interaction between the six that I like so much. I love these characters, but they feel a little stale...Ragdoll's disturbing non-sequitors are fun, but a little repetitive. I'm probably just mad because Knockout died, destroying one of my favorite comic couples. I'll stick with this comic, but I really hope the pace picks up.

Snap Judgements: Final Crisis #4, Final Crisis: Submit, Daredevil #112 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Final Crisis #4 gets an A- from DEgan
As much as I'd hate to admit it at this point, I think I'm finally figuring out what's going on-apparently it just all takes place between the panels and between the books. And as begrudgingly as I may admit this, I can't shake the fact that I'm really enjoying these books. It seems Morrison's greatest ability as a writer is to give you stories that make no sense but you can't help but love. And now that we're pretty far along, I'm actually seeing where some of these puzzle pieces land... this thing may end like a season of Wire and leave us all blown away... or it may end like every other crisis event in comic history: disappointingly. Only thing I know for sure-I'm digging out all my past issues of Final Crisis to see what it is exactly that I've missed.

Daredevil #112 gets an A- from DEgan
The last issue left me torn; I wasn't sure how I felt about Matt and Dakota North sleeping together. My first reaction was "ugh, typical." But then, the more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense... I mean, come on, it was actually pretty inevitable; she's a former supermodel detective... he's a crazy loner who's lost every woman he's ever loved...she was just beaten to a bloody pulp... he's, well, a crazy loner who's lost every woman he's ever loved. It was gonna happen. This issue deals mostly with the angsty aftermath-and Matt's reaction is lovably predictable. I'm also kinda digging Lady Bullseye even though she's done little more than lurk in the shadows and watch things happen. You have to give it to Brubaker-I didn't think anyone would be able to follow Bendis' (possibly my favorite single run on any superhero title). But he's doing a great job-still one of my favorite monthly titles. Now, just give me something to review other than soap opera who-slept-with-whom BS.

Reviews for Final Crisis: Submit and the DC Halloween spcial, after the jump...

Final Crisis: Submit gets a B+ from DEgan
Oh look! Another Final Crisis title! God forbid I miss a single one! Sigh, all the attitude aside, its yet another FC title that has me confused and happy. Lucky for me, my friendly neighborhood comic retailer told me to read this book before Final Crisis #4.... as the book ends about 30 seconds before #4 begins. I woulda been double plus-pissed if I had read it the other way around. Apparently freedom of the press is the super hero community's #1 priority in this crisis as both of the books have JLA second stringers running paper boy duties (I saw the opening splash page of Black Lightning running with the Daily Planet Satchel and immediately thought, "ah, Grant Morrison's writing this one too") Also, there are some great black superhero vs black supervillain moments in this book (some comically bordering on the cliched) that made me care more for Black Lightning than I ever have. Now, Mr. Morrison, pull this sucker together!

DC Universe Halloween Special Thing gets an F from AHR
This was the most incoherent piece of crap I've ever read. Seriously. Worst edited book I've ever read. It seems like there might be some fun things in here (Duncan Rouleau's story at least looks interesting), but it's just not worth the head scratching. As happy I was to see the Dibneys back as ghost detectives, their dialogue is embarrassingly bad, to say nothing of all the grammar and punctuation errors. Throw this crap in the trash.

Snap Judgements: Street Fighter II Turbo #1, Fables #77, and Welcome To Hoxford #3 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Mercy Sparx #1 gets an A from AHR
Devil's Due Publishing is already publishing one book about an anti-hero ass-kicking punked-out girl who busts supernatural foes, do they really need two? The answer is yes, if they're both really good. And Mercy Sparx, like it's soul-sister Hack/Slash, is really good. I love stories that take the war between heaven and hell into the modern era, and this book does it with just the right amount of relaxed humor and genuine badassery. The main character, despite looking like a Coop illustration, is a great female lead; she's cool, violent, and boorish, a completely believable young demon who the author treats like a real protagonist, not just a sexy avatar to hang the plot around. The art is a little rough around the edges, but it's a minor complaint. Here's hoping the quality level stays up, this could be a contender.

Fables #77 gets an A from DEgan
This book almost never disappoints. Even after the conclusion of a years-spanning story arc, the overall story doesn't skip a beat; and all without feeling like we're rushing from plot point to plot point. Bill Willingham is one of the best (if not the best) paced storytellers in comics today. We dive right into Fabletown dealing with the aftermath of their victory against "the empire"... and all the bureaucratic problems this may pose... I personally didn't know how the series could continue after the war's conclusion, but Willingham has introduced multiple new story elements that having me craving more. If you don't read Fables, get caught up and start reading-it's the book I most look forward to every month.

Reviews for Welcome To Hoxford and Street Fighter II Turbo after the jump...

Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge #3 gets an A- from DEgan
The flash was one of my first superhero comics, so I've always had a soft spot for the Rogues... and this title under the Final Crisis banner, while almost completely unrelated to the Final Crisis (whatever that actually is), is probably my favorite. Some of the best treatment of the rogues in a long time-Johns really treats each character lovingly. Unlike Batman's rogues gallery, whose personalities are defined by their mental disorders-the Flash's rogues all seem to be defined by their obsessions. And they compliment each other perfectly. Plus this series has continued to show how these dorky-on-the-outside super villains are in fact some of the believably biggest badasses of the DC universe. However, I was looking forward to this title tying into the crisis at the end-and at the conclusion of this story (though an awesome cyclical finish to their journey as Flash killers) all hopes of this story melding with the Final Crisis seem thwarted.

Street Fighter II Turbo #1 gets an B+ from AHR
Here's what happens in this issue: we meet the main fighters, they all do a special move, they all talk about going to the tournament, and at the end there's the most awkward, forced cliffhanger I've ever seen in a comic. And I loved every page. The art is banana bread nutzo, with action sequences full of perspective so forced it'll make your stomach turn. I'm trying to say I enjoyed this, which is really saying something since I mostly picked it up to get some pin-ups of Vega (and there AREN'T any!).

Welcome To Hoxford #3 gets an B- from AHR
Villain on villain dynamics can be a lot of fun if everyone is genuinely and uniquely evil; it creates some unusual and interesting social situations. In this issue, we get some survival horror where the all the survivors are serial killers and sex maniacs, and there's really no heart of gold to be seen. The big problem is this book is literally very dark, as in lots of shadow, and Ben Templesmith has given all the convicts very similar faces, so even though we've got a lot of colorfully horrible characters, it's next to impossible to tell them apart. Also there's also some rape sensationalism (just the threat, not the act), which while believable in context, is kind of unpleasant to read. Still, this book is solid horror, and the art, when distinguishable, is top notch.

Snap Judgments: Reviews for Batman, Nightwing and House of Mystery

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Batman #680 gets a B from Degan
When this is all said and done, I'm going to re-read all the R.I.P. stories together in one sitting--because right now Grant Morrison's writing is not holding up with month long intervals. I'm finding I'm very lost--and none of the other R.I.P. stories seem to have anything to do with this story so there's no help there. Otherwise, Batman's charge against the Black Glove and the Joker is entertaining enough-creepy and... confusing. I just have faith that this story is actually better than I'm realizing.

Nightwing #149 gets a B- from Degan
The conclusion of Nightwing's R.I.P. story (which has little to nothing to do with any other R.I.P. story). The "twist" ending is another obnoxiously cliched treatment of Two Face's split personalities... basically, if you're reading any story with Two Face on one side of a conflict, and there's a mysterious "other" party on the opposite side... guess what, it's also Two Face. Surprise. However, Nightwing's fear toxin stricken battle with Batman's Rogues Gallery is awesome enough to keep this book from sucking. Plus, you have to respect any story where the hero fails. Oh the tragedy of living in the modern day DCU.

House of Mystery #6 gets a C+ from Degan
This book is hit or miss, usually depending upon the bonus story within--in this case, the back story of one of the House's occupants, the Pirate Ann. And it was pretty damn cool. So a "hit" in that regard-except the story of the House itself, which I usually enjoy more than the stories within stories, was pretty confusing. The main character behaves completely unlike herself leaving me to wonder if I missed an issue... but I'm pretty sure I didn't. Not sure if the character incongruities are intentional or just lazy--but it left me too confused to really enjoy it. Though the story may be leading to some interesting places... who knows... this book's hanging by a thread.

Snap Judgements: Reviews for New Avengers, Superman/Batman, Runaways, and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. Beware some potential spoilers.

Superman/Batman #52 gets an A from AHR

Any criticism I might have about this book is negated by the fact that I read the entire thing with a huge smile on my face. It's part 2 of 2, but here's all I needed to know; cute lil DC characters drawn by former Blue Beetle artist Rafael Albuquerque. Michael Green, he of the both excellent and horrible Lovers and Madmen story, serves up some moments of sheer cute-larity. Even when things go dark, they don't get ugly. WAN MORE PLZ.

Runaways gets an A from AHR

Fun and funny art, plenty of LOLs and :(s. Also lesbians. And you know you're reading an awesome book when you have a gay couple who are being hated on not because they're gay, but because one of them is a skrull. Oh Marvel, you'll win me over yet! I haven't read much of this title, and if you haven't either, check it out; they do a great job filling new readers in on what's going on.

Blue Beetle, New Avengers, and Avengers: Initiative, after the jump...

Blue Beetle #31 gets a B from AHR

This series continues to be really good. Not John Rogers good, but better than 85% of all superhero comics good. It's certainly the best thing I've read by Matt Sturges. I like the border patrol arc, maybe Jamie can take on the housing crisis next?

Avengers: The Initiative #17 gets a B from Albo

As tired as I am of Sectret Invasion, The Initiative does a pretty
good job of telling interesting stories with the mega event as its
backdrop. Ant-Man, stranded in this series after his brilliant Robert
Kirkman solo series got canned, finally gets a moment to shine with
his particular brand of false, cowardly "heroism." There's also a
great pep talk from Nick Fury wherein he goes on about how the
"Greatest Generation" were really just a bunch of scared kids in
trenches, just like you.

New Avengers #45 gets a C from Albo

Man, I bet I would just love this issue if I had read all of that "No
More Mutants" crap a while back. There's a cool alternate reality,
some classic "Back to the Future" style flashbacks where we get to see
a famous scene from a new perspective... All kinds of cool stuff. Oh,
yeah, but I don't know what the hell is going on. My fault, I know, I
know.

Snap Judgements: Kick Ass #4, Runaways #1, Teen Titans: Year One #6, and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST. There is a potential spoiler within for Teen Titans, but I can't imagine you care.

Teen Titans: Year One #6 gets an A from AHR

This book is beautiful. Moments of terror, sadness, and victory. And still good for all ages. Also includes my favorite absurd bat-quote ever, "HRM. DAMN IMs". If only this wasn't the last issue.


Blue Beetle #30 gets an A from AHR

Oh, I was a fool to drop this book when John Rogers left...this issue is excellent. Funny, uniquely latino-minded, exciting, everything that made this series great in the first place. Lots of nerd jokes too, FTW.

Runaways #1 gets an A- from AHR

I know, I'm dumb, I didn't read this when Joss Whedon was writing it, but I'm reading it now and it's awesome! I'm a big fan of Humberto Ramos's super-cartoon anime style, though I wish the colors in this book were a little less day-glo. Terry Moore does an excellent job at making the heroes sound just smart and spontaionous enough to be believable kids, and you can tell you're in the hands of a pro for whom story and character comes miles ahead of one-liners and trying to be cool.

Kick Ass #4 gets a C from AHR

I only enjoy reading about the main character in this book when he's getting hurt terribly, and there's not much of that since #1. But there is some satisfyingly unflinching gore in this issue, and it's nice to see a "creepy little girl" character who can actually string a sentence together, as opposed to Cassandra Cain, the Female of the Species, The Little Sisters, Layla Miller, and the villain in every Japanese horror movie.

Teen Titans #62 gets a D from AHR

Jesus Christ, DC, we get it! You're not afraid to gruesomely murder lovable silver age characters who never hurt anyone. Enough. Enough.

Snap Judgements: Batman and the Outsiders #10, Hack/Slash #15, and Birds of Prey #121

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

There are very minor SPOILERS herein.

Hack/Slash #15 gets an A from AHR
Hey did you guys know there's this movie called "Re-Animator" by some old guy named HP Lovecraft and it has ZOMBIES in it? This issue of Hack/Slash is a cross-over with that, and even if you're like me and have no Cult Horror credits in your nerd account, this issue is still awesome.

Instead of being a one-off shlockfest as per your usual crossover, this ish has tons of tantalizing reveals about Cassie's past, and weaves the Re-Animator stuff in seamlessly (hopefully fans of the movie will feel the same way). Even though this seems to be the beginning of the end of Hack/Slash's over-arching storyline, I'd recommend that even n00bs to pick it up; you'll miss the "fan"-tastic continuity details (sorry), but it gives you a great overview of the plot and a good cliffhanger, and if you like it you can go back and read the whole thing. Good plan. Break!

Two much shorter reviews for DC books after the jump...


Birds of Prey #121 gets an B from AHR

I admit, I haven't read this series since Gail Simone left, I only read this because Joker was on the cover shooting someone in the head. And you know, the inside didn't really disappoint. There's some bad dialogue, sure, but there's also a line about how the Joker did whippets with Scarecrow's fear gas, which is both hilarious and a fun reference to a comic from years ago. Not sure what the rest of the plot in this issue means, but I got my money's worth.


Batman and the Outsiders #10 gets an D from AHR


I read this on Wednesday and now on Thursday night, I have almost no memory of it. I remember being passively interested when I was reading it, and I remember that Cass Cain gets to do something other than be hated by everyone, but other than that, literally forgettable. And I haven't even been drinking.

Snap Judgements: All-Star Superman #11, Final Crisis #1, Teen Titans #59, Batman #677

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

All-Star Superman #11 gets an A- from AHR
This book is like a great dream you only half remember. There are characters I don't recognize and references to things I don't understand. But I was thrilled from start to finish, and the last page made me actually say "Ahh!" out loud. That is a quality comic experience.

Grant Morrisson week continues after the jump...

Final Crisis #1 gets a B- from AHR
JG Jones' art kicks off with a eye-popping prehistoric sequence, though it's down to business after that. There are a bunch of fun moments of villains bickering and a short appearance by Gnerd fave (or AHR fave) Renee Montoya, but the last half gets a little bogged down in Monitor-Land, the DC Universe's black hole of boringness. In true Don Quixote fashion Grant Morrisson is trying to bring some humanity to these wooden super-beings, but I resent the fact that I'm expected to have read Countdown at all.

Batman #677 gets a C+ from AHR
I love stories about how crazy Batman is, but hearing his newest true love repeatedly tell him that he's just a wounded boy on the inside is a little too old news. Plus I was really looking forward to the Joker after the cliffhanger in the last issue, and he's MIA.

Teen Titans #59 gets a C from AHR
Wait, so The Clock King is a terrifying juggernaut in hand to hand combat? Really? The guy with big glasses, kind of looks like Scarecrow without the mask? Okay, comic. The one thing that impressed me about this comic is that it ties in perfectly with a thread from Final Crisis, and how often do tie-ins EVER actually match up. Blue Beetle is given the only really funny line of the issue (referring to Clock King as "Rolex Chronoberg") and it makes me hope Jaime Reyes may have a secured a future in the DC universe as a comic relief character, when (sorry IF) his book gets canceled.

Snap Judgements: Hack/Slash, Teen Titans, The Four Horsemen, Avengers: The Initiative

On Thursdays, the Geekanerd staff gives you Triple S comic reviews - short, sweet, and spoiler-free.

Hulk Smash Feelings of Self Doubt! - Avengers: The Initiative #5

Marvel's best book on the stands continues to deliver interesting character-driven action, but sags a bit under the weight of the Incredibly Angry Hulk. Isn't World War Hulk over yet? We already know he doesn't destroy the world. The sooner the Marvel Universe's heroes can get back to their own plotlines, the better.

This issue is about Trauma, the omega level Initiative recruit with the Fallout Boy haircut. His "I Know What You're Afraid Of" power has provided a lot of insight into some of our favorite Marvel Characters over the last several issues (Henry Pym's fear of being forever remembered as a wife-beater just because of some damn thing that happened in an ULTIMATES BOOK for godsake was particularly fun), and here's the moment we've all been waiting for - Trauma vs The Hulk. What's the Green Guy really afraid of? To me, the answer is a let-down. To others, including serious Hulk fans, it may be the only acceptable answer.

In the build-up to the big showdown, we meet some new Black Ops Initiative recruits, all of whom are very elite and top secret, but who do not come equipped with interesting personalities. This makes for some very bland team-building sequences, with only a particularly insufferable H.P Gyrich to keep us awake.

Dan Slott has set the bar on this book very high, and the quality of the art and writing is still beyond most mainstream books. But the issue feels too thin without a central focus on the Teen Team that Slott done such a great job developing.

Spotlight on Trauma - Who Are These Old Guys? + Hardball is Still a Dick = B-

Teen Titans, Hack/Slash, and The Four Horsemen after the jump...

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello - Teen Titans #50
At last, a proper farewell to Bart Allen. His funeral in Countdown was a a pretty dry affair (and attended by some less than well-behaved guests), but here the Titans remember Bart on a more personal level, complete with multi-artist flashbacks. Whether you're a long-time Impulse fan or have only a casual knowledge of the littlest Flash, you get an acute sense of what he meant to the team. Luckily it's not all boo-hoos, we get some refreshing cynicism from Ravager (/crush) and a predictably ill-concieved attempt at emotional counseling by Martian Manhuntgirl.

The flashbacks weave into the story with ease, and peak with a stand-alone interlude about Wally West by George Perez. The only misstep is an off-putting section in the middle which features seven pages from last week's Blue Beetle, redrawn by Randy Green. Granted, it's kind of neat to see the same scene re-interpreted by a new artist, but what's really jarring are several minor but significant changes in the dialogue. In Blue Beetle #18, Robin was perfectly chummy in suggesting Beetle train with the Titans, but here he pulls out some Bat-Daddy style browbeating. Wha happa? Was there a change in the script between the two book's printing dates, or did the TT editing crew change John Rogers' script to suit their own story purposes? The change isn't bad, but which version is cannon? Can we blame this continuity glitch on Superboy, or is it Mister Mind's fault now?

A Fond Farewell + Diverse Art + Mourning Mishaps - Repackaged Beetle = B

Bang Bang Rock 'n' Roll - Hack/Slash #4

Like books where hot chicks kill monsters? Pick up this book. Hate books where hot chicks kill monsters? You'll probably still like it, because it's just that good. Hack/Slash has a winning high concept - a victim of a Freddie-style slasher becomes a vigilante out to kill serial killers; it goes without saying she's a hot chick and has a hulking brute-force sidekick. But while the series has delivers plenty of pulp slasher thrills, the protagonists turn out to be two of the most surprising characters you're likely to find in mainstream comics.

This issue is the last in the series' first arc, and it's satisfying in the way only a baddie-busting vigilante comic can be. The villains of this storyline have been a bunch of spoiled, rock star devil worshippers, and it's very nice to see them get what's coming to them. New readers should probably wait for the trade, or hell, go pick up the first four issues. They're worth it.

Scary Monsters + Tough Ladies + Satisfying Finale = A-


So Much For Escapism - The Four Horsemen #1

Say what you will about Countdown, at least it's made us all appreciate 52 a little more. 52 could be over-the-top and messy even for an event book, but it was rarely boring. Take the Four Horsemen storyline - living embodiments of Famine, Death, War and Pestilence created by the DCU's finest mad scientists. Why? Because a giant Asian Egg Monster told them to. This is the sort of thing you just don't get from Marvel. And now The Four Horsemen have a book all to themselves, with the Big Three for protagonists. All signs point to yes.

Or not. Perhaps my expectations were colored by how much I've been enjoying writer Adam Beechen's rollicking run on Robin. There's no fun to be had here, as the plot deals with aftermath of the genocidal destruction of the DC nation of Bialyia, perpetrated by Black Adam in one of the more cringe-worthy plot threads of 52. Given the real life genocides and ethnic cleansing happening around the world right now, the mood of this comic is understandably dire. But nothing meaningful is said about the relief effort this comic uses as a plot device, nor does Beechen bring anything new to the question of what the role of the Superhero is in times of mass destruction. At one point, Bialiya's leader asks why Superman and the Flash don't just circle the globe until they find the person responsible. Well? I wish these kinds of practical questions were answered, but they're not.

Oppressively Bleak Atmosphere - Lack of Insight + Veronica Cale Still on Oolong Island = C-

Snap Judgements - Halo: Uprising, Mouse Guard: Winter 1152, Blue Beetle, Thunderbolts, Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious

Video Games Make Bad Comics... Don't They? - Halo: Uprising #1

First, a Geekanerd confession. I've only played Halo once, for fifteen minutes, and I sucked at it. So I'm not sure exactly what was running through my head when I picked this book up. Well, I do know what was running through my head: "Either this will be great because it's Bendis/Maleev, who are a great team, or it will suck which won't be so bad because then I get to tell all those Xbiotches their precious series sucks Covenant Needlers." Well, I don't get to say anything to the Xboxers because their series has made its second transformation to the comic book format quite well.

The first issue is bookended with some slightly stale Master Chief action (Maleev has always been better with mood than with action), but the gooey center follows a hotel concierge and a hotel guest escaping from the alien invasion. The writing really reminded me of Bendis' old crime fiction stuff, like Goldfish or some of his short work for Negative Burn. There's a down on his luck nobody who's gotta step up and be somebody, and he's mixing it up with a sexy lady who can handle a gun. Except this time there's Covenant soldiers instead of hackney mobster types. And just when you start to think that the poor bastard is out of his element and should just hide under a table, it becomes apparent that he's about to get a lot more pivotal in the whole dealy-o.

That all being said, it's still a comic book based on a first person shooter, and that can't be good, right?

Great Characters + Bendis in Top Form - Some Silly Covenant Jokes = A-

Mouse Guard: Winter 1152 #1, Blue Beetle #18, Thunderbolts #116, and Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious #1 after the jump...


Mice-i-cles - Mouse Guard: Winter 1152 #1

Well, it's finally here - the second series of the little book that blew everyone away with its artistry, its epic action, and of course its formidable cuteness factor. Mice with swords! What's not to like? The beginning of the Guard's winter storyline takes a slow approach - after a minor scuffle with a predator, heavy-hitter Saxon remarks, "No swordplay?" Readers may share his disappointment, although that's not so say this book doesn't deliver on the other fronts that made his title so highly regarded.

We join the characters immersed in a bitter winter, and Petersen's familiar small-scale woodland is now rendered in white, purple and blue. A sunrise towards the end of the issue is the visual high point; the sun shines through the frozen thicket in thin splashes of orange, the contrast against the snow is masterful. The scenes featuring the familiar guardsmice works better than the expositionary conversation delivered by the governing characters, but small touches (such seeing the mice keep beetles as trained pets) make every scene worth a second reading. The issue ends with a bang, and indicates why Petersen has frequently referred this second series as a "survival story". It's gonna be a long winter.

Beautiful Snowscapes + An Expanding Universe - A Slightly Slow Start = B+


In With The In-Crowd - Blue Beetle #18

Writer John Rogers is the best at what he does. And what he does is write quickly-paced comics packed with snappy teen dialogue that should impress even the most discriminating Whedon fan. In Blue Beetle #18, Rogers gets to introduce his greenhorn hero to the popular kids - the Teen Titans. Rogers' take on Robin & Co has them sounding smarter and more distinctive than they do on the pages of their own book, and the dynamic between the hardcore Titan heroes and the easily overwhelmed Beetle Bunch offers up more than it's fair share of LOLs.

The story sticks to the standard team-up format - first the heroes fight each other (Jaimie doesn't recognize the Teen Titans?! They live like four states away from Texas!) , then they band together to fight a big baddie. The bad guy is pretty much inconsequential, since the story is in the team-up. Unfortunately, the bad guy is Lobo, and Fans of the Man may be disappointed to see his antics are upstaged by the wonderful chemistry between the two bands of very different heroes. Jaimie and his friends look at the Titans with outsider's eyes, and can't resist asking a few very meta questions, such as why Supergirl would choose to fly around in a skirt.

The only thing that keeps this ish from getting a full fledged A+ is the first few pages. Drawn by David Baldeon and San Davis, the art suffers from a serious case of clonitis - you'd think that between two artists they'd be able to give each character a different face, but sadly it didn't work out that way. Still, this is just an early bump in the road on a trip to Funsville.

Cracklin' Dialogue - Tim Drake and Jaime Are Twins + Mexican Space Launch = A


It's Not Easy Being Mean - Thunderbolts #116

Yaawn. It seems like this book is only exciting every other issue. Last week we saw an amazing fight where Venom ate someone's arm and Bullseye got his ass handed to him. This week we just get some leftover, heated-up plot rehash. Artist Mike Deodato Jr. makes an admirable attempt to distract from the tedium by constantly drawing Moonstone in a sultry close-up, but that doesn't change the fact that all these conversations in Osbourne's office are boring. Or maybe it changes the fact a little. But not enough.

Speedball fans may be interested/horrified to see how low the former hero has been brought, and he has the issue's "big moment" - but even that seems like a lot of noise without much punch. The only part of this book that really got my attention was a surprisingly angsty Venom - nothing brings on the existential torment like the realizing everyone now thinks of you as a cannibalistic space monster.

Office Conversation - Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing + Venom Angst = C


The Title Is So Bad - Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious #1

Ask me if I love Lobo...
Yes! I adore Lobo, thanks for asking!
Ask me what my favorite Lobo story is...
Lobo's Back! Thanks for asking!
Ask me what my least favorite Lobo story is...
Any of the one-trillion crossover stories that all suck because every single one of them [that I've ever read -ed.] loses sight of the absurdity that makes Lobo a fun character. I'll even go one step further and say that if Keith Giffen ain't writin' it and Simon Bisley ain't drawin' it then it's taking place in the normal DC Universe and it isn't worth reading. Lobo's world is pulsating and alive and disgusting and perverse and violent and colorful. The DC Universe is... Well, it is what it is. Part of what makes Lobo Lobo is he truly is The Main Man of his universe. Everyone cowers in fear from the notorious bastich, and those that don't soon get their insides fed to them. Thanks for asking!

Now, after years of pretending the character was dead to me, I allowed myself to hope that Sam Keith could capture Lobo as well as the Holy Giffen/Bisley team. And he does! Visually. In other respects, not so much. As I mentioned before, the trouble with a Lobo/Superhero crossover story is that they come from two different worlds and it's very hard to be true to both. This story has Batman being his moody self but also trying to be a little silly, and Lobo being his silly self but also trying to be a little moody. The result is a muddy middleground where nobody's anything. Least of all interesting. Which is a goddamn shame because this book looks SO GOOD! Keith has the cartoony grit that Lobo's world demands, and there are some truly killer pages in here.

Thrilling Keith Art - Underwhelming Keith Story - Not My Lobo = C+

Snap Judgments:The Programme, Flash, Terror Inc, Black Canary, JLA, Shadowpact

As always, Snap Judgments gives you Triple-S comic reviews: short, sweet, and spoiler-free.

Promise Fulfilled - The Programme #2

If you're a regular Geekanerd reader, you may remember that last month I was saying The Programme was either a great book or a shitty book, and the verdict would be clear upon reading the second issue. Well the verdict is officially in, and The Programme is officially great. Where the first issue tried to cover a bit too much ground and therefore was a bit of a confusing mess, this issue sticks to two stories whose connection is clear. The result is much more quality time spent with the characters, who by the end are well developed and compelling.

I feel comfortable laying out the basic premise now, which I wasn't confident enough to do last month. While raiding some Soviet laboratories after World War II, American soldiers came across an unborn Commie Übermensch. Now that li'l fetus is all grow'd up in America, but he's been living a normal life for a long time and isn't aware of his origins. His government, however, needs him to combat a mysterious superhuman dubbed the "Talibstan Terror," so they're trying to unlock some of his latent abilities.

Sound interesting to you? Great, pick it up. Don't think it's your cup of tea? Pick it up anyway. The story will grow on you, and this book is honestly worth picking up for the art alone. It's dense, dark, and requires some effort on your part, but it pays off with a stark expressiveness and some alarmingly inventive uses of color.

CP Smith's Haunting Art + Johnny Rench's Brilliant Colors + A Story That's Really Coming Together = A

Reviews for Terror, Inc. #1 and Flash #231, JLA #12, Shadowpact #16, and the wretched Black Canary #4 after the jump...

Finger Rippin' Good, Ya'll - Terror, Inc. #1

Somehow the relaunch of this title had flown under my radar, and when I discovered it on the comic store shelf I let out an inadvertent yelp of glee. I was a big fan of the series in the nineties, and I'm a big fan of David Lapham in the current decade, so for a moment I felt like I was having one of those dreams where you walk into a comic store and see all these awesome comics that don't really exist (I have this dream at least once a year).

If you're not savvy, Terror (that's his name, alright) was cursed by a demon a few thousand years ago and became immortal. The catch is that his body is dead tissue and decays as such, so he needs to continually take limbs from other people (or animals) and attach them to himself in order to keep things fresh. When the body part is attached, he gains any inherent abilities that limb had. For instance, a sharpshooter's eye will make him a great shot. An Olympian sprinter's legs will make him very fast. AHR's head will make him Mexican. You see how this works?

After a lengthy origin story, the scene this Limited (boo!) Series sets is that Terror's hit-for-hire company Terror, Inc. has been tapped by some government types to take out a high-ranking official who has become a liability. Ho hum plot as far as these things go, but his unique approach to problem solving (tearing body parts from people) makes it a fresh read in spite of itself. If a complaint can be made it's that it feels like it's moving a bit too fast, but I suppose when you've only got five issues you've got to get things moving. Here's hoping this goes well so we can get a regular series.

Return of a Fave + Unique Solutions to Old Problems + It's Terror, Inc! = A-

Growing Up Fast - The Flash #231

Now that Impulse is buried and Flash: The Fastest Man Alive is canceled, Wally West can return to the fore in his own book which hasn't seen an issue since the beginning of 2006. Are you a Flash fan? Great! Do you like The Incredibles? I hope so, because if not you're going to be very disappointed with this relaunch.

Wally's kids have grown up amazingly fast (shoulda seen that coming) and now they're out and about in Keystone City with their Pop, saving folk and getting home in time for dinner. The issue's got heart, and a playful take on the character might be the best plan of action after Bart Allen met such a grim end.

Daniel Acuña's art is a unique Photoshop painting style which more often than not is gorgeous, but which sometimes falls prey to some slack character work. The good outweighs the bad here, but it's still unpleasant to see a character's face fall apart between splash pages.

New Playful Direction + Art That's Pretty... - ...but Inconsistent = B

Magic Should Be Fun - Shadowpact #16

I almost didn't pick this up because of the horribly obnoxious cover, but then I remembered the great "Blue Devil is going to sue hell to get his soul back" cliffhanger last month. Unfortunately, that storyline is squelched in two pages; granted it's a very funny two pages, but I was hoping for a several-issue subplot. No dice.

So what are we left with? The Shadowpact crew trying to save Chicago from volcanic ash, a cameo by the female contingent of the Justice League (plus Superman for added value), and an unimpressive fight with Doctor Gotham. Not exactly the rip-roaring magical adventures this book offers on it's better days.

Lackluster plot aside, Bill Willingham is still one of the best writers around, and his entertaining characterizations of the gang save this ish from the discard pile. But even the dialogue feels a bit off, with a few real groan-worthy bits of comic cliche amidst the usual top-notch material.

Plotline Disappointment - Wasted Cameos + D.C Chimp = C+

Time Keeps Slippin' - Justice League #12

I was a fan of the majority of Brad Meltzer's run on JLA, although he kind of lost me with the crossover-heavy Lighting Saga. The final issue of his run on JLA has examples of everything Meltzer distinguished himself with on this series - fragmented storytelling, frequent flashbacks, small interpersonal moments, and an extremely complicated plot.

The idea behind the story is simple; a glimpse of how each JLA member spends their time on dreaded monitor duty. This would imply a relatively low-key look inside the heads of these heroes, and we do get some nice, particularly evocative moments with the tragic Red Tornado, a character who's robot angst ironically became the heart of much of this series. But Meltzer also crams in a number of "shockers", which are treated with a lot of weight but don't pack much of a punch. Still, as with all of Meltzer's work on JLA, it's ambitious in its storytelling and trying to follow it all has a certain frustrating appeal. Plus it's got a sweet Alex Ross cover, ain't nothing wrong with that.

Challenging storytelling + Confusing Storytelling + Poor Reddy = B

Sin-ful Plot Twists - Black Canary #4

In the last issue of this series, the big cliffhanger was that Black Canary's awesome little adopted daughter/sister Sin was killed by Green Arrow. I say, a child character was "killed". By Green Arrow. Off-screen. By disapearing into water.

The crime was not so much in the transparent cliffhanger, but in the way it was written as if the Black Canary, not to mention the readers, would fall for such a absurdly cliche set-up in a series that had seemed so smart. I finished that issue and looked at the preview for this month's issue and thought, "There's no way I'm buying that crap." But I did. And that's a testament to how much fun the first two issues of this series were, so congrats to Tony Bedard for making me pay money for something I knew would insult my intelligence. And oh, how my intelligence was insulted. Black Canary spends the entire issue looking like a fool for accepting the events exactly as they appeared, and when the truth is finally revealed we get a TWO-PAGE SPREAD explaining the twist ending, when a simple "It happened just like you thought it did" would have sufficed.

The really sad thing is that this issue still has a lot of fun bits and pieces, such as a great beatdown by BC and some good continuity moments that tie together events from Green Arrow's past. Still, comic shops are one of the few places in the world where I don't feel likely to be insulted, and I now feel obligated to challenge this book to a duel.

Waste of Two Characters - Contempt for the Audience - Pistols at Dawn = D

Snap Judgments:Welcome To Tranquility #9, Metal Men #1, World War Hulk #3, Illuminati #4

As always, Snap Judgements gives you Triple-S comic reviews: short, sweet, and spoiler-free.

These Bots Is Wacky! - Metal Men #1

The Metal Men, at least as they appear in this series, have something very important that sets them apart from the rest of the DC hero teams - naiveté. While they each come standard with over the top personalities and a range of emotions, there is a sweetness to their nature that harkens back to their Silver Age origins.

This issue is divided into three chapters, and only the second really features the Metal Men in action. As if to count for all the angst-free fun, the bookend chapters deal with the dark, ancient origins of the Metal Men, as well as a look into the past of Doc Magnus (minor art quibble; in the flashback, Doc looks like a babyfaced teen even though the story takes place only four years in the past. I guess mad science takes a toll.). These expositionary stories suffer from way too much mystic and tech jargon, which serves a purpose but is a chore to read. Still, on the whole the book benefits from the singular vision of writer-artist Duncan Rouleau, who ties his panels together with a border of gears that wind in and out of the art like strands of robo-DNA.

Robots Are Our Friends + Steampunitky Art - Slow Beginning and End = B

Reviews for Welcome to Tranquility, World War Hulk and New Avengers: Illuminati after the jump...

Zombies? Really? - Welcome To Tranquility #9

Aren't we tired of zombies by now? With The Walking Dead and Marvel Zombies readily available, I was kinda hoping this arc of Welcome To Tranquility wasn't going to be all about brain eaters. But hope is cheap. Simone even name checks Robert Kirkman in this issue, and it looks like the wall that keeps the undead hoards from the town of Tranquility has come a tumblin' down.

Feelings of zombie fatigue aside, this issue has some great moments, but the central plot feels sluggish and fails to live up to last week's superb trilogy of origin stories. We do get to see more of one of the most entertaining characterizations of the devil since Neil Gaiman's Lucifer, and the issue ends with a great mini-story that reaches an almost Frank Millerian level of pulp revenge grit.

Boring Zombies + Cool Satan + Cowboy Grit = B+


He's Going To *yawn* Kill Us All! - World War Hulk #3

Oh, man. This is over. I wish I could spoil this for you because by the end of this issue the Hulk has succumbed to one of the biggest invading villain cliches in all of comicdom. It never worked for the hundreds that came before him, yet somehow he thinks it's a good idea. Poor Hulk. Poor, stupid Hulk. If only you weren't thinking about things so much and just got really angry and smashed stuff. You'd probably have won this war by now.

In other news, this book still looks and feels great. The presentation is top notch, but it's just not enough to make up for the major story problems present. If the Hulk really wanted to kill these heroes, why hasn't he? He's beaten a bunch of them up, but hasn't dealt the final blow to anyone. The premise of this story was "Hulk Kills the Marvel Universe," but so far he's been very restrained. Add to this the fact that since issue 1 everyone's been saying "Ohh, the Sentry is the one guy that might be able to stop the Hulk" and come issue three they're still talking about him but he is just sitting in a house in Northern Vermont, biding his time. Add to that the cheesiest line of dialogue to end a comic this year, and you get a big fat turkey that's pretty to look at but taste like donkey's yonks.

Romita's Outstanding Art - Pak's Plot Holes - King of Supervillain Cliches = C-


Girl Troubles - New Avengers: Illuminati #4

Slight spoiler here, only one of the girls on this cover is actually in the comic. Because this is a comic about boys. More specifically, a comic about boys talking about stuff. In this issue, they talk about girls. Dr. Strange is upset that his lady left to rule the Dark Dimension, Tony Stark is complaining about chasing tail, Black Bolt is miming suicide in an effort to illustrate married life, and Reed Richards and Namor are having a very awkward conversation about Sue Storm. It's great! And then five pages in some superhero bullshit starts happening that nobody cares about. If anybody in the world cared about Marvel Boy (I enjoyed his series, but that's ancient history at this point), he would have been on the cover instead of these girls that aren't even in the comic. We do get some insightful words as to why Professor X doesn't just program everyone to agree with him, but other than that it's a lot of talk about some issues I didn't find myself caring about. Definitely worth picking up for the opening chit-chat, but *shhhh* word on the street is you can read that part online at Pop Culture Shock. Next issue promises "TODAY," so I expect that means we'll be coming out of the past and into the present to deal with the Hulk.

Great Man Talk Between Heroes + Wonderful Characterization - Boring Plot = B+