Panel Discussion: Scans from Batman, Hack/Slash, Secret Invasion and More

Most Surprising Revelation - Batman #682
Who's that dapper momma's boy? Why it's that nice billionaire fellow, Bruce Wayne. You know, the gentleman that nothing bad ever happened to? In this alternate universe fantasy, we see that without the traumatic murder of his parents, Bruce Wayne would be...Clark Kent.

Disappointing sex, questionable cameos and rats... Lots of rats... After the jump.

Most Disappointing Sex Scene - Hack/Slash #18
The character design in Hack/Slash is one of the series' most endearing qualities. The girls have tons of personality, and resemble real people a lot more than most comic girls. And they're super cute.
So, imagine my delight when our bi-curious heroine Cassie finally decides to go all the way with her lesbian pal. HAWTHAWTHAWT! BRING IT ON!
Annnnd....what? This issue was actually drawn by regular Emily Stone AND backup artist Kevin Mellon, the latter of which ended doing all the sexy stuff. And unfortunately, his art is generic and totally ices the heat that should be emanating from this long awaited scene.

Cameo Alert? - Hack/Slash #18
So in this week's issue of Hack/Slash, one of the characters is attacked by a bunch of characters from...something? I see the Toxic Avenger, someone who really looks like the Amazing Wolfman, something that kind of looks like Spawn...um...the House Bunny....and some sort of weird Scud knock-off? Milk & Cheese show up later, are any of these other guys real characters?

Asking Too Much... - Secret Invasion #8
Alright, so the end of Secret Invasion puts Norman Osborn in charge of everything. He's the new Tony Stark, the leader of the Avengers and the Initiative. Ok... Everybody who's anybody knows this guy is the Green Goblin! Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but this is just ridiculous storytelling!

Creepiest Moment - Amazing Spider-Man #579
The setup here is that a bunch of people are stuck in a dark subway tunnel, and Spider-Man is pulling them up a shaft all at once and there's only one light and even though Spidey is making all sorts of troubled noises he insists the light be kept on the people he's rescuing. When they finally find another flashlight and shine it his way, we find out why he's been grunting so much. Ew.

Somebody Call PETA - Amazing Spider-Man #579
In follow up to the previous panel, Spidey kills all the rats by activating the Shocker's vibraglove (or whatever that thing's called... vibraglove sounds like a bachelorette party gag gift).

Can I Just Say Again... - Amazing Spider Man #579...how much I love Marcos Martin's Spider-Man art? I can? This is my blog? Ok, good.

Somebody Didn't Get the Memo - Iron Man / Hulk / Fury #1
Looks like whoever drew this movie tie-in didn't get the memo that Terrence Howard is out and Don Cheadle is in as Rhodey.

Panel Discussion - Scans From Astonishing X-Men, Rage of the Red Lanterns, Joker HC, and More

Celebrity Casting Corner Pt. 1 - Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Boxes #1
Never have I seen better ringer for Ed Harris than Inspector Slipper from this steampunky X-Men tale. And well cast, I say--the man's got quite a face. As fun as it is to spot celebrity likenesses in comics, the excitement is multiplied big time when you can find the exact image the artist used as reference!

Cute OverloaaaAAAHHH OH GOD NO - Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns #1
My goodness. What is going on at the DC Offices? Did their medical plan stop covering anti-psychotic perscriptions?


A Moral Confusion - Avengers: The Initiative #18

Why is it that all of these superheroes that "don't kill" have no problem exploding Skrulls all over the place? Because they aren't from Earth? Because they have wrinkly chins and green skin? Seriously, they don't even look that different from humans... It makes me very uncomfortable in a very political way.

Achievement In Joker Creepiness - Joker

How do artists keep finding ways to make the Joker seem creepy? Lee Bermejo has him dig into a plate of shrimp the same way he does everything...with perverse, life-threatening glee. *shudder*


Celebrity Casting Corner Pt. 2 - Kick Drum Comix #2
It's nice to see that EVE is getting some work post-Wall-E. It must be hard out there for old cartoon characters, sitting around waiting for direct-to-DVD sequels and crappy movie tie-ins and praying for another Roger Rabbit.

Futurama Alert! - The Avengers: Initiative #18
Well don't these wisecracking heads in jars look familiar! Any Futurama fan should be looking around for Nixon.

A Fitting Weapon - Joker
Only the Joker would think that sticking shards of glass in his fingers so he could razor slap people is a good idea.

Best Use Of A Repeated Panel - Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns #1
Okay so this is not exactly a repeated panel, but the fact that everything in the panel remains the same except for the head exploding really hightens the sense of surprise in this split second turn of events. In other news, we're all very upset that fuzzyhead Green Lantern didn't make it out of this issue. He was our favorite.

Best Case of Hat Hair - Joker
How frustrating for Harley Quinn that she can't put that Jester hat on without looking like this until her next shower.

Best Acting - Bot-E, Kick Drum Comix #2
She just does surprise so well!

KANGAROO RATS FROM SPACE! EVERYBODY PANIC!

Did you know there are Giant Kangaroo Rats from and in outer space?! Well apparently SOMEONE did because a bunch of scientists just developed the technology to spy on them with a satellite, which is required because these rats are FROM SPACE.

So only NOW have we decided to launch a full scale surveillance initiative on these things? For all we know they could have laser eyes, or telepathy. And exactly how Giant are these guys? There's nothing in that picture that indicates scale. I fear for this planet, I do.
I am glad, however, that if we are in fact on the brink of an alien invasion, at least our future overlords are adorable and therefore very likely to be kind and generous leaders. Space Rat/Space Rat in 08!

Via the crack reporting team of Wonkette.

Snap Judgments: Reviews for Young Liars, Captain Britain and MI13, Secret Invasion and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

There are probably some minor SPOILERS herein.

Captain Britain and MI13 #4 gets an A from Albo
My good friend Hunter told me last week that Captain Britain and MI13 was the best comic Marvel was currently publishing. Never one to turn down a strongly-worded recommendation, I bought all four issues of the series today and that old sumbitch might be right. It may just be because I'm getting so sick of Bendis' Secret Invasion books, and yet this series uses the mega event as its jumping off point and somehow manages to stay grounded enough to get some good character work done. This four issue intro just wrapped up, I can't wait to see where the book takes us in a post-Skrull universe (oh, did I mention? The British have already dealt with their Skrull invasion.)

Reviews for Young Liars #6, Welcome to Hoxford #1, Universal War One Book 2 and Secret Invasion #5 after the jump.

Young Liars #6 gets an A from Albo
Ah, David Lapham, how did I ever doubt you? Yeah, many of the issues of this series have been miserable reads, but you've really picked it up here. This issue and the last one are filled with some incredibly shocking scenes. In a storytelling medium where the biggest threat (*cough*World War Hulk*cough*Secret Invasion*cough*) can be handled with a fistfight and zero serious consequences, it's a real treat seeing main characters go through severe, non-reversible, life-changing shit. Like, uh... Beheading. Last issue was castration. Where can they go from here?

Welcome to Hoxford #1 gets a B from Albo
I didn't get too much out of this issue. It's certainly not bad, the art is suitably creepy for a Ben Templesmith horror book and the writing is solid, I think I just have to see where it's going to really decide if I like the world the book is set in. So I guess what I'm saying is, stay tuned. But hey, if you like dark stories about prisoners getting (SPOILER) eaten alive, jump right in!

Universal War One Book 2 gets a C from Albo
I'm probably being a bit too harsh on this one. As far as spacey sci-fi comics go, it's better than most. There's even something exotic about the whole package because it's a French import. But really, despite the good art and the above average panel to panel writing, the pacing of the whole shebang is really screwy. Add to that the fact that after two looong issues I'm still not sure what I'm really supposed to be caring about and you've got yourself a C book in Albo's... book. Though a planet getting cut in half is admittedly pretty darn cool.

Secret Invasion #5 gets a D from Albo
Every time I attend or watch online a Marvel panel at a comic convention, someone inevitably gets on the mic and asks the question: "Why do you guys keep doing these big events that nobody really likes?" And Marvel's answer is always the same: "You keep buying them." It's a very honest answer, but it's also kind of a slap in the face. We buy them because they've told us the event is the most important thing going on in the universe and we're afraid that if we don't follow the books we'll be out of the loop. I haven't liked Secret Invasion since issue one, but here I am telling you what I think about the latest issue I bought. But I swear to you, right here and now, I will not buy another issue of this series. Why? Because nothing happens. Nothing. We're still where we were at the end of issue one. The characters are so secondary to the whole thing that they might as well be G.I Joes or the Scooby Doo crew and it wouldn't affect the story. Full disclosure, I'm still going to read these things in the store. But I swear I will not contribute to "you keep buying them" any more.

Snap Judgments: Reviews for Dead, She Said #2, Secret Invasion #3, Final Crisis: Requiem and More!

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

There are probably some minor SPOILERS herein.

Dead, She Said #2 gets an A from Albo
I'm so happy that the second issue of this series kept up everything I enjoyed about the first. Many detective stories will put their protagonist through a lot of pain before the story wraps up, systematically degrading the private dick's body and thus emphasizing their eventual triumph as a result of superior intellect and sheer force of will rather than brute strength. Steve Niles has decided to cut to the chase in this tale, where our lonely detective's body is actually decomposing rapidly due to a little condition called death. Everyone's complaints about the smell aren't keeping him from investigating his own murder, though. It's a really handsome book with fun storytelling, and I really can't recommend it enough to fans of detective stories or horror. Or giant ants (here's looking at you, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull lovers!).

Detective Comics #846 gets a B+ from AHR
Hush is back! *crickets* Oh well, some more details on his origin remind readers why they should care, and all in all this is as clever and satisfying an issue of 'Tec as I've come to expect from Dini.

Reviews for Detective Comics #846, Secret Invasion #3, Final Crisis Requiem, I Hate Giants #1, and Ultimate Origins #2 after the jump!

Young Liars #5 gets a B from Albo
It seems that Young Liars' "Curse of the Sucky Odd Numbered Issues" is finally over! After a miserable #1 and #3 (and a great #2 and #4), this issue came as a huge relief. I can't say it was perfect, since the story as a whole still has me pretty befuddled as to the whys and wherefores, but the scenes within this book were strong enough to make me overlook such vital silly points. It's pretty awesome that we're only in issue five and already there are some major consequences hitting this group of unlikeable protagonists. Oh yeah, that's a problem isn't it? I HATE these people. Even when I like this book I hate it. What's a fanboy to do?

Final Crisis: Requiem gets a C+ from AHR
Funny and sad character moments in the first half, but the second half is a dry, dry history lesson on Martian Manhunter. Big fans of the character might enjoy, I wouldn't know. I do know that DC should have bought the rights to use the brand "Oreo" for this final send off.

I Hate Giants #1 gets a C+ from AHR
High school nerd angst. And not very deep angst at that. Fun art saves it from the discard pile.

Secret Invasion #3 gets a C from Albo
Beautiful to look at, but nothing nothing nothing happens happens happens. Last issue ended with Nick Fury showing up to the fistfight with a big glock, and this issue shows him firing it. This issue ends with SPOILER Captain America and Thor showing up to the fistfight, and I bet next issue will show them punching things. Snorlax. But like I said, Leinil Francis Yu's art is, as always, something to behold.

Ultimate Origins #2 gets an F from Albo
F for who the F cares. F for why waste an Fing issue of your big Fing Ultimate event on a story (Captain America's origin) that we've all read a million Fing times. F for I have so many more bad things to say about this book but I've already wasted too much Fing time on it.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Mighty Avengers #15, Final Crisis #2, New Avengers #42 and More

Every week we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Beware some major SPOILERS.

Click the pics for high res goodness!

Celebrity Cameo Corner - Thunderbolts #121

How long has Penance been Edward Norton? I read the entire Deodato Thunderbolts run and only now did this jump out at me. And regardless of how you feel about photo referencing, isn't it a little unadvised to model a Marvel character off an actor who is playing a DIFFERENT Marvel character at a theater near you?! Or is this some sort of insane cross-promotion? Are they trying to tell us that Penance is really Bruce Banner? I'm sure it's all something to do with Secret Invasion. - AHR

Every Man's Worst Nightmare - Mighty Avengers #15
Hank Pym experiences every man's worst fear: that the cute naked co-ed you're sitting in bed eating ice cream with will transform into a Hulk tranny and kick your ass. -Albo

Hero Most In Need of A New Costume - Robin, Teen Titans #60
Tim, you're not the Boy Hostage any more. You're not flipping around the sidelines while Batman does the dirty work. With this in mind, you MIGHT want to re-enforce the spandex outfit at least to the point where Clock King (CLOCK KING!) can't stab you in the stomach like he's punching a hole in a Capri Sun. - AHR

Someone Call Tony Stark... - Avengers: The Initiative #14
A method for detecting Skrulls has been found! They loooooove pickles and strawberries! And I love Dan Slott for being goddamn hilarious. -Albo

What I loved about that moment is that Skrull Man uses quotes when he names the food, because it's so unfamiliar. You know he's internally pronouncing them as "pick-ELLES" and "straw-BERRIES". -AHR

Most Chilling Ending - Avengers: The Initiative #14
This issue has a hell of an ending, with the first actual method of detecting Skrulls (other than the aforementioned Skrullian T'Manja berries mention earlier) being fritzed by a Skrull who's actually a good guy but happens to be in hiding because he's genuinely afraid of the predjudice that will be leveled against him if he is revealed. So he "hacks" the Skrull-detecting goggles, and now poor Delroy faces the very Twilight Zoney twist of "seeing" that EVERYONE IS A SKRULL. I fear for his mental health. Great end to a great issue. -Albo

Snappingly Good Dialogue - Mighty Avengers #15
"I didn't kiss anyone. And I could have." I know it doesn't seem like much, but it's just the sort of biting non sequitur that you rarely see in comics but often hear in actual relationship arguments. Not that I would know, because any ladies I let into my life worship the ground I geek on, but that's beside the point. -Albo

Project Runway Winners - Final Crisis #2
Japanese club kids plus superhero outfits = the height of geek chic. I wonder if these are all J.G Jones originals, or if he found some superhero fashion reference material? I thought I recognized some of these looks from the recent exhibit at the Met Museum, but no dice. Fashion aside, the best thing in this panel is the guy in the Stormtrooper/Samurai suit, proving once again that Star Wars fans will use any event as an excuse to cosplay. - AHR

What I Hate About Secret Invasion - New Avengers #42
So much of Bendis' "flashback" stories are just a slew of Skrulls hanging out in some dark New York warehouse talking. Not about anything all that interesting. You know, "Sentry is a threat... We should figure out how to get Stark out of the picture... The plan is coming along nicely..." Blah blah blah. It doesn't help that I often can't tell who the hell everyone is supposed to be.

Malpractice Lawsuit in the Making - New Avengers #42
I've really racked my brain for any plausible explanation, but... Can those blobs on the operating tray be anything BUT breast implants?
Hydra Nurse: "But Doctor, her chart says she's in here for power renewal, not--"
Hydra Dr.: "Silence, Nurse! Scalpel!"
And I guess that's how she went from manageable C-cups to these monstrosities in the same issue:
It's only fair to note that the second Spider-Woman is actually Spider Skrullette. Which only raises more issues. -Albo

Cute Alert - Teen Titans #60
That long gaited, big feet teenager walk is too adorable. I like it when action books aren't afraid to get a little cartoonish, when appropriate.

Someone Please Explain... - New Avengers #42
What exactly is supposed to be happening at the end of this issue? What's the "film melt" effect supposed to mean? Surely I'm overlooking something obvious... Help, Geekanerds of the world! -Albo
[UPDATE: The internets work fast, ladies and gentlemen. Alex Zalben of Pulp Secret and Comic Book Club stepped in like the crack of Indiana Jones' whip to let me know the same film melt effect was used in the first issue of House of M, which coincides with what's happening in these panels. Guess I should have read that. Thanks Alex!]

Snap Judgments: Reviews for Trinity #1, Ultimate Origins #1, Buffy #15 and More

Short comic reviews based on initial, lizard-brain opinions. Arranged from BEST to WORST.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 8 #15 gets an A from AHR
Oh noes! Here endeth the Buffy/Satsu storyline, aka the ship that launched a thousand fics. I'll certainly miss the lesbian jokes, but this issue wraps up with excellent action sequences, heartwarming and heartwrenching drama, and a satisfying resolution that still opens up a few doors. Also lots of lesbian jokes.

Detective Comics #845 gets an A from AHR
Too much fun. Batman and Detective Chimp sitting at their computers IMing each other may top out some people's tolerance for silliness, but i found it delightful.

Reviews for H.P. Lovecraft's Haunt of Horrors #1, Omega: The Unknown #9, Secret Invasion #3, Trinity #1, Ultimate Origins #1 and House of Mystery #2 after the jump...

H.P. Lovecraft's Haunt of Horrors #1 gets an A from Albo
Kind of a weird idea. Celebrated underground artist Richard Corben does graphic adaptations (and expansions) of H.P. Lovecraft short stories and poems, and includes the original source text after each story. This works really well when the source is a vague poem that he has built an interesting narrative around, but when the source is a short story with more evocative imagery than the adaptation, things become a little less satisfying. He did the same thing with Poe, but I haven't gotten the chance to read those. All told, a cool experiment and a welcome serving of Corben's unique art.

Omega: The Unknown #9 gets a B from Albo
This book is so consistently good that for some reason it hardly excites me anymore. That sounds cynical, right? But I'm sitting here flipping through it and thinking "that's great, that's great, that's good too" but I know that when I was reading it I was a little bored. What's the deal? Well, in my heart I know this is a classic story that I'll be re-reading for years to come. The end is near!

Secret Invasion #3 gets a B from Albo
Ho hum. Very skeletal storytelling. Feels like an outline for tie-in issues to elaborate on, a very Marvel storytelling method I strongly disapprove of. Yu's art is still amazing, though, and the confrontation between Skrullica Drew and Tony Stark is pretty exciting though I'm pretty sure it's just some Skrullian mind games.

Trinity #1 gets an A+F=C+ from AHR
Wow. The first half of this book, in which Bruce, Diana, and Clark meet up for lunch and talk about a spooky dream they had, is awesome. I love any time attention is drawn to how insane Batman's "Bruce Wayne" persona is, and here Wondy actually calls him on it. But the second part of this book is a droning mish-mash of expository detritus featuring characters and situations that I have zero interest in, and after spending a fun lunch with my oldest DC pals I have no desire to jump into a red and green space land full of proselytizing god/alien creatures. Perhaps the writers are trying to set up two bands of alien/god creatures, since that description extends to the titular trinity, with the intention of showing us how much more interesting the group who act like humans are. These two very segmented stories are perfect examples of what I love and hate about DC.

Ultimate Origins #1 gets a C from Albo
There's nothing outright bad about the first issue of this major Ultimate event, but it just doesn't make enough of a statement right off the bat to justify its existence. You can hardly blame Bendis, though. I mean, how many universes can he be expected to turn upside down at once?

House of Mystery #2 gets a C- from AHR
Bleh. Reads like second rate Neil Gaiman, with really self-conscious and over-stated fantastical dialogue. It's brightened up by some fun touches (lady pirate bouncer) and a few pages of Jill Thompson's moody cartoon art, but what a let down after such a gripping and disturbing first issue.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Secret Invasion #1, Detective Comics #843, Buffy #10 and More

Every week Geekanerd brings you the best, worst and weirdest panels from our week in comics. If you didn't read your books, there will be giant SPOILERS. Click the images for high res action!

Best Moves - Detective Comics #843

AHR: Zatanna kicks ass in this issue. So she's hanging out with Bruce at a party, and someone asks if they're an item, and he's all, "NO WAI!" And she's like, "O RLY?"
Man, how are you going to be that cavalier about asking out Batman? Do the words severe dissociative disorder mean anything to her? But seriously, Dini's run on Detective has featured a lot of great work on recovering relationship between these two, so I buy it. And there's a nice visual touch in the first panel - instead of asking Bruce to hand her a glass of water, she levitates it over to herself. Pretty cool customer.

More Zatanna, plus a racist vampire, an awesome comic cover and more after the jump!

Best Comeback - Zatanna, Detective Comics #843
AHR: This is just a good line any time someone tries to stick you with a label. I'm gonna remember it. Although it probably doesn't pack as much of a punch if one of the other things you are isn't a magician who can zap people's brains if she feels like it.

Coolest Development - Secret Invasion #1
Albo: The only interesting thing that really happened in the first issue of Marvel's newest big event was this panel--a Skrull ship crash lands on Earth, and when Luke Cage pries it open a bunch of throwback heroes flow out saying things like "At last we're back!" Are they Skrulls? Are they the real deal and their counterparts the Skrulls? Or are they time-displaced heroes destined to team up with their current time counterparts against a massive Skrullian menace? Who the heck knows, but I can't wait to find out. (Ooh, I hope they're the real deal)

Best Acting - Xander and Renee, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8: #10

AHR: When Xander and his slayer GF Renee go to visit Dracula, it quickly devolves into a melange of awkwardness. Dracula calls Renee a "moor", which is what they're reacting to in this first panel. Wonderful facial expressions here, also great nervous hand gesture from Xander.
Before long Xander is back under Dracula's ledgendary thrall, as Renee facepalms...This next panel is the height of comedy as far as I'm concerned...
Xander's blithe expression and Renee's goggle-eyed take are absolutely perfect.

And much later, as Dracula learns of some Japanese vamps stealing his powers...
Facepalm again! I love when artists use dot-eyes for really silly gags. Let's hear it for Georges Jeanty!

Sweetest Cover - Omega: The Unknown #7
Albo: Gary Panter really comes through in his artist guest spot, not only contributing a sweet ass comic within a comic but also the best cover of the series... Or any series in recent memory, for that matter.

Most Horrific Plot Development - The Walking Dead #48
AHR: For all the hemming and hawing over at Marvel about how Secret Invasion "CHANGES EVERYTHING", the developments of Walking Dead #48 make all the stuff at Marvel seem like small potatoes. For the last several years, The Walking Dead has been a story about a band of families, lovers and strangers, forced together by the need to survive. After this issue, in which about half of the cast dies including the hero's wife and new baby, I have to believe much of the rest of this book is going to be about grief.

Most Effective Small Talk Killer - American Splendor #1
Albo: Can't say the guy's off base. If anyone needs a little perspective it's Harvey Pekar.