Oh God No

No...nonono...oh god...NO!

AH, WHY!!




"Those fools at Geek And Nerd dared to cancel my Movie Review Feature after one post! Perhaps they feel they should devote more time to Video Game Reviews...let's see how well they review video games without....THEIR FAVORITE CONSOLE! The delicate innards of the Xbox 360 are no match for my mighty mechanical arms! Hope you like Mario Tennis Party, you no talent hacks! MUAHAHAHA!"

Dying Artforms: The Best Left 4 Dead Fan Art On The Web

Remember how much we at Geekanerd love Portal? Sure you do. Well, for the past few months, we've devoted a sizable fraction of that love to Valve's newest venture, Left 4 Dead. Perhaps you've heard of it.

While I would not attempt to try to recreate the monument of fandom that is Portal Authority, I've been looking at so much Left 4 Dead fan art in the last few days, I find it's necessary to share the highlights as a service to you, the reader.


First up, an adorable Hunter jumping an adorably oblivious Louis. This is from DeviantArtist Slushy-man's spin on Left 4 Dead DeviantArt meme, a source of endless fun.

Scary zombies, cute zombies, animated zombies, sexy zombies, and PEELS, after the jump...



Apparently this is this whole subculture of geek icons rendered in crochet...and windgie79 posted these Left 4 Dead "super zombies" on the Crafter.org messageboard. As much as I like to see zombie bile rendered in yarn, I would pay cash money for that lil Hunter on my desk. I would throw it at my roommates EVERY DAY.


I think we've all been here. From SAsukaLangley's L4D meme.

These are only two female characters in L4D. Here is them kissing, courtesy of Bar1Scorpio. For more Zoe/Witch escapades, check out this Nyoro meme comic by DDRshaman38. No pron, sorry.


Here's yet more Zoe/Witch BFFness...although if you read the full comic by Fishgut-San, you'll see it's all just part of a cunning plan.



Part of the LD4 meme is drawing yourself as your favorite character. This is a nice take on Zoe, and bonus points to artist Lauren for so subtly weaving in the Peelz Meme.

Speaking of the Peelz Meme...

Impressive work by CosmicD. The best part of this is the first 40 seconds. I'm thinking using the "Pills Here!" chorus as the backing track for my yet-to-be-written L4D rap.


Grabbin' seels. And if you think that's a misspelling, you need to brush up on your Pokerap.


Just a snippet from one of the better L4D comics I've seen. He's got a pretty good command of the survivor's personalities, and Louis's plan made me LOL. Read the whole thing at Sean's DA Page.


Are you noticing that there's a lot of really simple art here? You can't deny this scene from Wibbletfish has personality.


This is evidence if a disturbed and brilliant mind. "The Left For Deadfast Club", via Visually Pink. I have to include the artist's captions as well.

Thomas the Tank - A star football quarterback, likes throwing shit.

Bobby "Boomer" - Awkward fat kid, always sick, but when he's around, he really gets the party started.

Smokin' Sam - Weird smoking dude, always doing his own thing in the corner. Might get lung cancer or something worse one day.

Whitney - Quiet, sad girl. Always down for some reason. The boys don't know how to deal with her, so they just leave her alone.

Hunter - Sharp, quick kid. Don't know why he dresses like that - you look like a hoodlum, boy. >:/

Bright kids, with a bright future!! What lies in store for them!? Only time will tell!!

Haw!


Chibi-tastic cartoon, by Brad Redfield. People seem to really feel for the witch. I think perhaps there is a bit of The Witch in all gamers.

Beavotron has made a whole series of nerdy valentine cards, including one for each Special Infected. This is my favorite, because it's the only one that reaches it's full PUNtential (dies).


There are tons upon tons of these fan created "movie" posters, and almost all of them are terrible. I like this one by Naruzap, because the title is PUNderful and I'd love to see zombie congressmen.

This post has been a little Cute Overload for the most part, so here are some distressing images to close...


Not everyone survives a campaign. "Zoey's Final Moment" by Xerios.

And finally...it probably comes as a surprise to no one that there is a definite trend towards Smoker smex in fan art, combining the fun of tentacle rape with the emo-ness of necrophilia. Can't wait for those keyword searches to roll in. Oy. It's unavoidable on L4D fan art searches, so here are two relatively inoffensive examples.


Zoe is the focus of most of this stuff...poor girl.


OTP indeed. Seeing Francis like this is really upsetting. From super Smoker fan, Queen DeDeDe's meme.


Ahah, shoe's on the other foot now! Also by Queen DeDeDe.

Sorry to subject you to that, dear readers. Here some excellent non-sexual Smoker art by Browning43 to get that, ahem, taste out of your mouth. Uch. It's late.




HALLOWEEN UPDATE: This year Gnerd editor Degan went ahead and made a Smoker pumpkin. We've even got the stencils posted on our Halloween wrap-up, go check it out!


That's it for now. If I missed anything insanely brilliant, hit us up. I've got to go get my Zoey costume ready for ComicCon.

Porn Star Tera Patrick Takes on Role of "Special Producer" for Saints Row 2

From the press release:

...world famous adult film star TERA PATRICK will be working as 'special producer' on the highly anticipated open-world action video game Saints Row 2. Known as one the best "finishers" worldwide, Patrick's role as ‘special producer’ will bring her one-of-a-kind special touch to the project as the game nears release on October 14.

One of the best "finishers" worldwide? Her "one-of-a-kind special touch"? At least they have the sense to put the bullshit position of "special producer" in quotes. Interested? Check out a Grand Theft Auto IV-bashing trailer for Saints Row 2 after the jump.

You know, as far as I'm concerned this is a really effective trailer. One of my biggest problems with GTA IV is that you can't do anything. Don't believe the "you can do anything" hype. When it comes down to it, you can shoot people, you can steal cars, and you can participate in mind-numbingly dull recreational activities. The possibilities are extremely limited. So even though the Saints Row series is a clone of the GTA style, seeing a trailer like this that tells me the game is "GTA IV with options" actually makes me interested in a game that I would have scoffed at before. Either that or Tera Patrick's "finishing" skills and "special touch" have won me over.

Guitar Hero IV is Rock Band... +?

It may not come as a surprise to anyone, but in an effort to not be outdone by Rock Band, the next edition of Guitar Hero will be pumping up its features big time. Among these additions (as described in the latest issue of Game Informer and on IGN) are the inclusion of drums and vocals in the mix, a "new input mechanic" for the guitar, and a "Studio Mode" for creating new songs or jamming over old ones.

The drums features three regular pads and two raised wedge-shaped cymbal pads. All of them (as well as the pedal) are pressure sensitive, so the game knows exactly how hard you're hitting them. Activision claims the drums are built to be less noisy and more sturdy than the Rock Band drums, and I'm inclined to believe them 'cause those RB drums are rickety crickety. (UPDATE: There's a picture of the drums after the jump!) No word on what the guitar's "new input mechanic" that will "impact the way you play GH in the future" might be. If it's anything like the solo buttons or effects switch on the Rock Band guitar, color me unimpressed.

Hit the jump for info about the Studio Mode, where you'll get to make music and share it with the world!

Details are still scant in regards to the Studio Mode, but what we know is this:

• You can jam over existing songs with any instrument.
• You can use the instruments to create a new song by laying down rhythm, lead, melody, bass, and drum tracks. No vocals.
• You will be able to share the songs you've created online. Only five at first, but if they're rated well you might get permission to upload more.

Call me cynical, but are people really going to be able to create music worth listening to with a five-button guitar? The inclusion of vocals would make it an awesome YouTube-y experience, but without it you'll just be listening to a string of guitar and drum samples. Much cooler would be the ability to import your own pre-recorded songs and assign Guitar Hero tablature to them, but I guess it would be tough to regulate copyrighted content.

UPDATE: Someone at Destructoid has posted a scan of the drums!
These look pretty great and all, but can anyone really justify having two fake drumsets in their house?

Completist Game Review: Rock Band

Completist Game Reviews aren't meant to be timely. The opinions herein were generated after many months of playing a game, long after the hype and honeymoon impressions have worn off. If it's beatable, the reviewer must beat it. Would you review a movie without finishing it? No. The game will be played not in the rushed manner of most review sites but as the average player will experience it... On his own time, at his own pace.

We've dedicated a lot of space on this site to Rock Band coverage, so it's no secret that we were excited for this game. Now that it's been in our hands for a couple of months and we've played the almighty heck out of it, does it live up to our expectations? Yes and no.

YES
Rock Band takes the Guitar Hero concept and expands it so far beyond the original's design as to render it obsolete. Even if Rock Band didn't have drums and vocals, it would put Guitar Hero to shame. The difficulty curve feels smoother than Guitar Hero, and the note sequences never feel like their trying be tough for tough's sake.

More after the jump...

Also the presentation is much better, with some really slick graphics and a lot of options for customizing your own characters instead of picking from cheesy stock avatars. Watching the virtual band perform a song can actually be pretty engaging, because they all really do look like their playing their instruments (as opposed to GH's stiff animatronic-looking models) and they're being shot in the style of an awesome 70s rockumentary.

The drums bring a whole new challenge to things, and even though I know it's probably an illusion I can't help but feel like my gradual improvement is a laudable accomplishment. Something about banging pads and stomping a pedal feels more constructive than pushing buttons on a toy guitar. I'm sure that I still wouldn't know what to do with a real drumset or even be able to keep time without the help of onscreen prompts, but it feels pretty great when you finally get your hands and your feet to operate independently of one another.

The song selection is also really great, and the regular stream of new tracks available every week keeps the experience fresh.

NO
Unfortunately, the experience isn't perfect. My gripes might seem like quibbles, but they are things that still burn my biscuits after a couple months of playing the game, so they're worth mentioning.

First of all, it's cool that you can create your own characters to play with, but you have to choose an instrument for that character and then they can never play anything else. So if you're like me and like to play a little bit of everything you'll have a "Guitarist Albo," "Drummer Albo," and "Singer Albo." Three different characters! It's a pain in the ass to make three characters when you should really only have to make one that has the animations for each instrument built in. I can't imagine that would actually be difficult to program. What's the deal?

Secondly, the Band World Tour mode (the "main mode" of the game) has a flawed design. It's cool in concept--hop from city to city playing gigs to earn money and gain fans. But as you progress through the game (especially early on when your gig choices are limited) you'll find yourself playing the same songs over and over again. I think our first time playing we did Weezer's "Say It Ain't So" six times. I like the song and all, but that kind of repetition gets old quick. The Tour "ends" (you can keep playing gigs if you like) with a six hour marathon run of all the standard songs on the disc, but there's no grand finale ending, just a polite text message of congratulations.

One way in which Rock Band is inferior to Guitar Hero is the peripheral design. The guitar, while good looking, feels incredibly cheap. The neck feels like it could break off in a strong wind, and the "added functionality" of the effects switcher and the small buttons high up on the neck are just gimmicks (though I can see how the small buttons might be useful for a small child). The drums are fun to play but also feel really cheap. They are rickety, foam is sticking out from under the pads, and the hard plastic the pads are made out of isn't pleasant to hit with a stick and creates an awful racket. I purchased some foam drum pads from a guy on the internet, which helps the sound and feel of the drums a lot, but it sucks that they didn't come out of the box feeling better.

MAYBE SO
The game is at its best as a party game, with people rotating through instruments and all having a good time. It really is a blast to hang out with friends and bellow through these great tunes. The only thing that gets in the way of the fun is the fact that there really aren't that many easy songs, so playing with first timers tends to leave them left out. This wasn't as much of a problem with Guitar Hero because in competitive play it wouldn't matter how bad someone was doing, the game would still let them play to the end of the song, which would provide them with more practice. In Rock Band, if you fail you can be saved by your bandmates, but after three times it will end the song prematurely. This leaves your fellow band members disgruntled and you singled out as a bad player without that extra practice you need so much. In my experience with party crowds the newbies get frustrated and withdraw from the group fairly quickly, which defeats the whole point of playing in the first place. It would have been great if there was a "Party Mode" setting that would remove the "three strikes and you're out" rule so everyone could keep playing and be happy.

CONCLUSION
So it's not a perfect game, but the fun factor is still extremely high and considering there's not another game like it around, it gets our top score of FOUR STARS.




Note: The reviewer was playing the XBox 360 version of the game.

Will Arnett is a Geekanerd:Loves That Call of Duty 4

Check out our previous "...is a Geekanerd" segments.

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Announced

There have been rumors and rumblings, but this morning Activision officially announced Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. Says frontman Steven "Big Mouth Bass" Tyler:

"Any band that can go from 'Don't Want to Miss A Thing' (Aerosmith's #1 smash hit) to the ass-kicking 'Sweet Emotion' to the cheekiness of 'Love in an Elevator,' to the classic ballad 'Dream On' shows why Activision chose us to headline this game based on the diversity of the Aerosmith catalog. Not only is songwriting a bitch, but then it goes and has puppies."

The setup seems to be a quest through the band's life, from infancy to superstardom to has-been. You'll be playing songs from Aerosmith and "celebrated artists that the band has either performed with or has been inspired by in some way." Is it just me, or does it all seem a little too... restricting? Swapping from Guitar Hero 2 to Rock the 80s to play a few songs was obnoxious enough, swapping from Guitar Hero 3 to play a bunch of Aerosmith songs? I just don't see it happening. Why isn't this a downloadable expansion that adds the songs to your GH3 playlist and an "Aerosmith Story Mode" to the main menu? Now THAT would be awesome.

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith will be coming to PS3, XBox 360, Wii, and PS2 this June.
You can get a taste of the action by downloading "Dream On" for Guitar Hero 3 for free on XBox Live and the Playstation Store this weekend.

New On XBox Live: Gnerd's Movie of the Year, King of Kong

King of Kong, the beloved 2007 documentary about two men's battle to become the greatest Donkey Kong player on earth, may not have been nominated for an Oscar (seeing as the nominees consist of four Iraq docs and Sicko, that's hardly surprising) but it's not all bad news for the film. Official Xbox blog Gamerscore has reported that as part of a deal with MGM, February will see the release of King of Kong on XBox live, where hopefully the doc will pick up a bit of gamer-love and achieve the cult classic status it so richly deserves. Because I'll tell you what's not helping it get seen; this god awful DVD cover. WHAT happened?! Did a focus group find that DVD consumers hate good design? Granted, the DVD cover "tells the story" more than the enegmatic one sheet, but when your movie largely focuses on seated men playing arcade games, you might want to highlight the explosively grandiose tone of the film more than the literal events therein.



A look at the other titles coming to Xbox, including Lost, after the jump...

Other Feburary releases for Xbox Live include a bunch of stuff from ABC and Disney, including HD episodes of Lost. The movie releases they're promoting for February are:

* Mr. Brooks (MGM, available in SD and HD)
* The complete Rocky series (MGM, available in SD and HD)
* Films from the James Bond series (MGM, available in SD and HD)
* The Usual Suspects (MGM, available in SD and HD)
* 3:10 to Yuma (Lionsgate, available in SD and HD)
* Saw IV (Lionsgate, available in SD and HD)
* King of Kong (New Line, available in SD)
* The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Crawford (WB, in SD and HD)
* Michael Clayton (WB, available in SD and HD)
* Stardust (Paramount, available in SD and HD)

With the exception of KoK and 3:10 to Yuma, this is pretty dull stuff. Even more disturbing was this list of the top ten movies downloaded of the system since the launch...

1.) 300
2.) Beerfest
3.) Crank
4.) Superman Returns
5.) Employee of the Month
6.) Ocean's Thirteen
7.) Transformers
8.) The Departed
9.) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
10.) Jackass Number Two

I understand that the Xbox 360 is not the Wii. That it is not a system for everybody, but more serious gamers, and that the Live component is going to shrink that audience even further to a section of the populace who have the time and inclination to do multiplayer gaming and download things not via bitorrent, like normal Americans, but with their all-in-one consoles. BUT COME ON. Beerfest is number two of all time? In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, "Who are these people?"

Enhance Your Rock Band Experience

So you've got Rock Band, and you're saying to yourself "Man, this is fun and all, but I really feel like if I spent some more money I would be having an even better time." And you're right! There's a bevy of fun Rock Band doodads to blow money on. The first and most exciting is what is simulated in the picture above... A Rock Band Light and Smoke Stage Show Kit! No joke, read all about it over at Destructoid. It won't be out until July, but you can bet with a price tag of 100 smax it'll be worth the wait!

Hit the jump for more fun Rock Band accessories...

Sound-Dampening Drum Pads
One of the big complaints with Rock Band out of the box is how much of a racket those little plastic drum pads make. It's not so bad when you have the luxury of cranking the music so high it drowns out the noise, but some people have neighbors. Enter the sound-dampening drum pad mod, available in DIY ($27 for supplies) and BIY (Buy-It-Yourself, $27.99) varieties. Do they work? Well, check out this video of them in action:

So yeah, they work. Be warned, however, they begin to show damage pretty quick. Mine aren't falling apart or anything, but they definitely aren't as pretty as the ones in the picture.

Drum Bag
If you're planning on taking your show on the road, or (ha) storing your drums away, you may want to get your hands on this official Rock Band Drum Bag. It's going for $50 at the Rock Band Store.

Mic Stand

Anyone who has tried to sing and play guitar or drums at the same time using the Xbox 360 headset knows how crappy the sounds quality is with that thing. Dropping $13 (at Guitar Center, among other places) on an actual mic stand for your USB microphone is a solid investment. It'll also open up a bunch of new "stage business" possibilities. Which in turn will open up a bunch of new "property destruction" possibilities.

Have I missed anything crucial? Let me know in the comments.

Darth Vader and Yoda Join the Cast of Soul Calibur IV

The Soul Calibur franchise has seen it's fair share of stunt casting over the years, with appearances by Spawn, Link and others. But this may take the cake, as the PS3 and XBox 360 versions of Soul Calibur IV will star Darth Vader and Yoda... Respectively. That's right, each system gets one lightsaber duelist. There will be no Jedi vs. Sith action. However, I'd put money on the characters showing up for purchase on XBox Live Marketplace and the PlayStation Network. How much is your geekdom worth?

Bully For the Wii and 360: Better Late Than Never!

Way back in Gnerd's summer 2007 infancy, we reported that Bully (one of our favorite Playstation 2 games) would be coming to the Xbox 360 and Wii by Fall 2007. Well, we all know now that this was a huge lie, fed to an unsuspecting public by Rockstar developers who no doubt would rather play Guitar Hero in the communal company kitchen than get their own games out on time. But all is forgiven, because over the weekend a new release date was announced (via IGN), along with info as to what the fabled "new content" would consist of. Deets after the jump.

The new release date is March 4th in the US and March 7th in the UK. The extra content includes...

Eight new missions
Presumably these are side missions, and not multi-faceted missions with their own cut-scenes and what not. Here's hoping they're not all Give-This-To-That-Guy missions, of which there were already more than enough in the PS2 version.

Four new school classes: biology, music, math and geography
All of the school class minigames managed to be both fun and challenging, but chances are you'd finish them all well before the storyline of the game ran out, taking away from the realism of having to sneak around to avoid cutting class. More classes are a welcome addition, and I'd bet money the Bio class involves frog dissection.

New unlockable items and clothing
I'd scoff at this, but truthfully I spent a sad amount of in-game time mowing lawns so I hope they include some superhero tees this time. There were never enough geek options for dressing Jimmy.

New two-player offline minigames
Excellent addition - one might question the point of adding minor multiplayer offering in a single player game, but I frequently played Bully with friends just by taking turns on missions, since the game's script is smart and funny enough to entertain even if you're not playing. I'd guess these new minigames will probably be go-kart racing and maybe some sort of melee fight game (as in The Warriors).

New awards and Achievements
Yawn. Only college football players and The Cheats care about trophies.

There's no mention of how the Wiimote will work, so I'm still holding out hope for Wii Boxing style fight controls (not bloodly likely). There's also no explicit mention of updated graphics, although IGN's publicity stills for Scholarship Edition look a lot smoother and prettier than we've seen before, so it's a good bet.

Review: Guitar Hero 3

We here at Geekanerd have been huge fans of the Guitar Hero franchise since that fateful day I walked into a Best Buy and gave it a whirl at a demo station. After plowing through three GH games (including the 80s Edition), is their still room in our hearts to be impressed by the series? Well, we've played it thoroughly on both the Wii and PS2, so hit the jump for our full review.

The Good:

It's more Guitar Hero. Seriously, I still enjoy playing the first one immensely, so all Red Octane really needed to do to get me to like this game is not mess with the formula and give me new songs to play. And they've done this. There are a few gameplay differences, most of which I like or at least don't mind. Most notable is the fact that the window for hitting a note is significantly wider. My first time playing I was blazing through strings of hammer-ons and pull-offs that I know I'd never get through in the previous games. Some have grumbled that this cheapens the experience, but it makes me feel like a rockstar so I say it's awesome.

A lot of people have made a fuss about how the game is more difficult than the previous iterations, but I honestly didn't notice too much of a leap, other than that the "First Tier" songs aren't necessarily any easier than the second, third, or fourth tier. There was certainly a larger disparity between the difficulties of GH1 and GH2.

The new guitar controller is really great. It feels much more solid than the old ones, and while the ability to swap out the faceplates and take the neck off are features I'll probably never use, I guess it's nice to know I could if I wanted. Having had time with this guitar and the Rock Band guitar, I'd have to say this one feels MUCH better, even if it doesn't look quite as cool.

The Co-Op Career is a very welcome addition, and making some tracks with especially great bass lines exclusive to that mode makes it seem like more than an afterthought.

Finishing off the Good List is the fact that a lot of the tracks in the game are original recordings. No longer do we have to sit through cringe-worthy covers of songs we love. Jamming to authentic masters immediately crowns this game as the King of the Guitar Hero hill.

The Bad

Unfortunately the game is not without its flaws. The most egregious of these is a severe case of devolving character design. The first Guitar Hero introduced a handful of unique and well-designed characters, but this game takes those, dips them in a vat of blandjuice and gives them all a $50 Hot Topic gift certificate to dress themselves. In the dark. Add a robot (who can relate to a ROBOT?! Especially one so distinctly uncool...) and some really really ugly "Legends of Rock" and you get a character selection screen that's not even worth looking at. The non-player characters suffer as well, most notably the drummer, who looks like he's an animatronic transplanted from a 50s era Disney ride. Ugh.

Another problem is the introduction of the Boss Battles. While the actual battle songs written specifically for the game are fun (why can't we play them in Face-Off mode??!?), the Battle mechanic is seriously half-baked. Every power-up interferes with the fun of playing a song, and most are way too powerful. Getting hit with just about anything in the final battle with the devil will just plain kill you. It's no fun, it feels cheap and unbalanced, and I don't like it no matter what you say.

The Eh...

The online play on the Wii is a mixed bag. We rarely had trouble finding someone to play against, but we've only gotten through one full session without our opponent dropping out when they were losing. Not really the game's fault, but still extremely frustrating. The matching system could also stand to be a bit more intuitive. That being said, the community that's growing at GuitarHero.com shows a lot of promise, with leaderboards and tournament scheduling.

I also have mixed feelings about the added Wiimote functionality. As you can see from the pic at the top of the post, the Wii guitar has a slot for the Wiimote to fit snugly. While there it makes a missed note "twang" sound effect, and vibrates to the beat when you have star power. These features, especially the sound bit, are things I really like in theory but distract me a bit in actual gameplay situations. I'm sure I'll eventually get used to it, but my initial impression was not a good one.

The Verdict:

SE2 Labs Builds a Wii60

Last night at the Digital Life Holiday Press Event, SE2 Labs showed off a configuration of their ITC One that has an integrated Xbox 360 and a Wii. The Frankenstein Monstrosity of home entertainment is meant to be a one piece system that contains everything your home theater needs: Audio equipment, HDTV receiver, HD-DVD Player, DVR, an iPod dock, and lastly but most importantly, gaming consoles. Just add a television and you're good to go. If you can afford a TV after dropping TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS ON THIS BEAST.

Hit the jump for a rundown of a few problems that keep this thing from being truly droolworthy, followed by some hardware porn...

Problem 1: There is an inflexible two drive bay rule on this thing. One of them has to be a 360, and the other one can either be a Wii or an HD-DVD drive. As you may have guessed, the HD-DVD player is the 360 add-on drive, so if Wii + HD-DVD or Wii60 + HD-DVD is your dream, you're SOL.

Problem 2: They've done a good job of completely deconstructing the 360 and relocating its various ports and jacks around the front and back of the unit, but the Wii is left intact and therefore if you can't see it you can't get to it. Meaning: No GameCube controller ports or memory card ports, and no USB ports. They are using a wireless sensor bar that the President of the company insisted was first party Nintendo. I think the difference in our income levels was significant enough for him to realize he needn't listen to my assurances that no such thing exists.

Problem 3: As much as they try to make this thing look small in the pictures, it is HUGE. And not very attractive.

Problem 4: You know how I mentioned it was $20k? Well, that's for the stripped down cheapest configuration. That's right, these puppies are $20k AND UP.

In the interest of fairness, there are some good things about the ITC One. The cooling is supposedly much better for the 360 than the original box, and allegedly quieter as well. So it could cut down on the red ring of death, and not just because there is no light ring on this thing. Also, there is a button on it that will make your remote beep wherever it is. Which is the most obvious feature to be missing from home entertainment since the remote was invented.

Guitar Hero 3 Makes a Shredder Out of "Devil Went Down to Georgia"

The Devil Went Down to Georgia has been on the Guitar Hero III playlist for a little while now, and if you're familiar with the song you'll get a kick out of what they've done with it. It's the final song in the game, and seeing as how some song tiers culminate in a boss battle with a rock icon (Slash, Bret Michaels, etc) and this song is about a musical showdown with the Devil... Do you see where I'm going here? It seems that Satan, the muse of all rock music, is the final boss of Guitar Hero III. They're calling him "Lou," as in "Lou Cifer," but make no mistake it is the Dark One. And good luck, the song has been turned into a truly hellish shredder:

Hit the jump for the full tracklist.

Tier 1:
Foghat - Slow Ride
Poison - Talk Dirty to Me
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Social Distortion - Story of My Life

Encore: Kiss - Rock and Roll All Nite
Co-op Encore: Beastie Boys - Sabotage

Tier 2:
Mountain - Mississippi Queen
Alice Cooper - School's Out
Cream - Sunshine of Your Life
Heart - Barracuda

Boss: Tom Morello - Guitar Battle
Encore: Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade
Co-op Encore: The Strokes - Reptilia

Tier 3:
The Killers - When You Were Young
AFI - Miss Murder
The Who - The Seeker
Priestess - Lay Down

Encore: Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
Co-op Encore: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss

Tier 4:
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
The Sex Pistols - Anarchy in the UK
Sonic Youth - Kool Thing
Weezer - My Name Is Jonas

Encore: Pearl Jam - Evenflow
Co-op Encore: Blue Oyster Cult - Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll

Tier 5:
The Dead Kennedy's - Holiday in Cambodia
Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane
Aerosmith - Same Old Song and Dance
ZZ Top - La Grange

Boss: Slash - Guitar Battle
Encore: Guns N Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
Co-op Encore: Bloc Party - Hellicopter

Tier 6:
Santana - Black Magic Woman
Smashing Pumpkins - Cherub Rock
White Zombie - Black Sunshine
Tenacious D - The Metal

Encore: Stevie Ray Vaughn - Pride and Joy
Co-op Encore: Matchbook Romance - Monsters

Tier 7:
Slipknot - Before I Forget
Disturbed - Stricken
Queens of the Stone Age - 3's and 7's
Muse - Knights of Cydonia

Encore: Living Colour - Cult of Personality

Tier 8:
Slayer - Raining Blood
Eric Johnson - Cliffs of Dover
Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast
Metallica - One

Boss: Lou - Guitar Battle
Encore: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Bonus Tracks:

An Endless Sporadic - Impulse
Backyard Babies - Minus Celsius
Bret Michaels Band - Go That Far
Die Toten Hosen - Hier Kommit Alex
Dragonforce - Through the Fire and the Flames
Fall of Troy - FCP Remix
Gallows - In the Belly of a Shark
The Hellacopters - I'm in the Band
Heroes del Silencio - Avalancha
In Flames - Take This Life
Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby
Killswitch Engage - My Curse
LA Slum Lords - Down N Dirty
Lacuna Coil - Closer
Lions - Metal Heavy Lady
NAAST - Mauvis Garcon
Prototype - The Way It Ends
Revolverhead - Generation Rock
Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee
Scouts of St. Sebastian - In Love
Senses Fail - Can't Be Saved
The Sleeping - Don't Hold Back
The Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums
Superbus - Radio Song

New Video: Bionic Commando Trailer

Bionic Commando, the NES sidescroller with grappling hook arm action, is finally back, coming to the Xbox 360, PS3 and PC. While twenty years ago your hook extended just enough to get you up to the platform right above you, now it turns you into Spider-Man, swinging around a post-apocalyptic city like you were born in the sky. Oh, and do you recognize that voice? Sure enough, it's Mike Patton of Mr. Bungle/Faith No More/Lovage fame!

Geekanerd Investigation: Which System Has the Best Games?

The Wii and PS3 are nearing their one-year anniversaries, and the Xbox 360 is coming up on it's second. They've all had some time to roll out great games, but which system has been rolling out the most? Commence Investigation!


The Ten Best-Reviewed "New Gen" Games
The system listed is for the highest reviewed version, additional systems are in parentheses
1. Bioshock - 360 (PC)
2. Zelda: Twilight Princess - Wii (GameCube)
3. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - 360 (PS3, PC)
4. Halo 3 - 360
5. Gears of War - 360 (PC)
6. Guitar Hero II - 360 (PS2)
7. Resident Evil 4 - Wii (PS2, GameCube)
8. Metroid Prime 3 - Wii
8. Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter - 360 (PC, Xbox, PS2)
10. Call of Duty 2 - 360 (PC)

What does it all mean?! Hit the jump for analysis...

Using the above list, the Great Game Count for each system runs like this:

Xbox 360 - 7
Wii - 3
PS3 - 1

The 360 has a pretty sizable lead here, with twice as many AAA games as the Wii, and just forget about the PS3. Something else to take note of, though, is that most of these games are available on multiple platforms. Which begs the question, what is the best system for exclusive content you can't get anywhere else? A new list!

The Ten Best-Reviewed Exclusive Games
1. Halo 3 - 360
2. Metroid Prime 3 - Wii
3. Forza Motorsport 2 - 360
4. Project Gotham Racing 3 - 360
5. Resistance: Fall of Man - PS3
5. Project Gotham Racing 4 - 360
7. Ninja Gaiden Sigma - PS3
8. Dead or Alive 4 - 360
9. Super Paper Mario - Wii
10. Dead Rising - 360

TOTALS:
Xbox 360 - 6
PS3 - 2
Wii - 2

Ooh, you thought that was gonna be a Wii coup, didn't you? Quite the opposite, the Wii merely tied the mangy PS3. Well, that list is almost entirely sequels, and Nintendo is all about the Wii being a "new way to play," so let's look at the category that they'll surely trump:

Ten Best-Reviewed Non-Sequel Exclusives
1. Resistance: Fall of Man - PS3
2. Dead Rising - 360
3. Viva Pinata - 360
4. Crackdown - 360
5. Motorstorm - PS3
6. Saint's Row - 360
7. Heavenly Sword - PS3
8. Kameo - 360
9. Eternal Sonata - 360
10. Blue Dragon - 360

TOTALS:
Xbox 360 - 7
PS3 - 3
Wii - 0

Say what!? All that talk about shaking things up and Nintendo couldn't come up with a single well-reviewed original game? Their best is Wii Sports, which ends up coming in at number 12. I might have to think about getting one uh them 360 things. Might. It has a sizable head start for sure, we'll see if Nintendo and Sony can step it up going into their second year.

All lists compiled using review scores from Game Rankings.
Thanks to intendo editor Rollin for wising me to the fact that Warhawk for PS3 is a sequel.

You've Already Won Me Over, Simpsons Game

I've made some slightly disparaging observations about this game in the past, but the time has come where I'll admit I might have to one day eat my shoe. Every piece of gameplay I see gets me a little more interested, from the stuff above to the GTA parody and original 2D animation after the jump. I realize now that they are calling it simply The Simpsons Game without any subtitle to suggest that it is indeed the ultimate game for the franchise. And when the visuals, voices, and jokes are right out of the show, how could it not be? Well, bad gameplay could kill it, but let's think nice thoughts.

September 26, 2007 is OFFICIALLY Guitar Hero Day in NYC

Today at the Guitar Hero III Launch event New York City announced that September 26, 2007 is officially Guitar Hero Day! That's RedOctane President Kai Huang on the left there, with Krusty Krusterson from the city on the right presenting the official Proclamation. Oh, and Living Color.

We'll have some video of the presentation up later, as well as a Guitar Hero III deathmatch showdown between Geekanerd and Destructoid. You won't wanna miss it.

UPDATE: Our first delicious morsel of GHIII video can be found here.

Full press release after the jump.

SEPTEMBER 26, 2007 DECLARED GUITAR HERO DAY IN NEW YORK CITY

City Official to Read Proclamation, Eager Fans Set To Storm the Streets of New York, Guitar Hero® III: Legends of Rock To Be Debuted at Digital Life

Santa Monica, CA - September 26, 2007 -- Activision, Inc. (Nasdaq: ATVI), publisher of the wildly popular Guitar Hero® franchise and the City of New York are proud to proclaim September 26, 2007 "Guitar Hero® Day" in New York City. Fans are ready to rock the streets of Manhattan as thousands are expected to gather in celebration of the day, with guitar controllers in hand. This proclamation is one of many Guitar Hero events taking place in New York City this week, heading into the launch of the highly anticipated Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock.